GetOutOfMyLab

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Aug 13, 2021
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Ok first let me just say that it's probably just my "seething hatred" of the way most Devs seem make their MC between 18 tp 23 years old, but the dialog for them makes them look and act like a fifteen year old virgin. This AVN is not as bad as most in this regard. My biggest problem with the MC and the writing style in particular, is the extreme overuse of "Inner Dialog." All stories need it but 90% of the devs I have read must have gone to the same bad school of writng. "inner Dialog" should be used very sparingly when in an actual conversation with another character, but these dev's use it way, way, way too much. As a matter of fact, there have been some games that have more "inner dialog" than actual Dialog. Also, most of excessive "inner dialog" could have been incorporated into the actual dialog very easily. I'm sorry but this is not just MY opinion here, it's most literary schools as well. I know these are not supposed to Pulitzer Prize quality but the level of writing needs to be raised.
You must have played a game by MrDots to have such feelings against inner dialogue.

I feel your pain. :HideThePain:
 

Dogorti

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Jan 23, 2021
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Ok first let me just say that it's probably just my "seething hatred" of the way most Devs seem make their MC between 18 tp 23 years old, but the dialog for them makes them look and act like a fifteen year old virgin. This AVN is not as bad as most in this regard. My biggest problem with the MC and the writing style in particular, is the extreme overuse of "Inner Dialog." All stories need it but 90% of the devs I have read must have gone to the same bad school of writng. "inner Dialog" should be used very sparingly when in an actual conversation with another character, but these dev's use it way, way, way too much. As a matter of fact, there have been some games that have more "inner dialog" than actual Dialog. Also, most of excessive "inner dialog" could have been incorporated into the actual dialog very easily. I'm sorry but this is not just MY opinion here, it's most literary schools as well. I know these are not supposed to Pulitzer Prize quality but the level of writing needs to be raised.
The writing here is definitely way above average, especially above the crap writing of many of the games you mentioned, which surprises me if that you say it doesn't have to be pulitzer writing but some of the games you mention definitely have questionable writing and things worse than the "inner dialogue" but hey it's fine.
 

GetOutOfMyLab

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Aug 13, 2021
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Could be worse
Could be a ki**er7 game.... :KEK:
I tried playing the latest update and couldn't make it past the first scene... and that was with frequent pauses from boredom.

Anyway, as far as rec's writing... I don't really notice the inner monologues that much so I don't think it's bad.
 

Pantisocrat

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Jul 3, 2017
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This is a very cute uh, negligee or whatever. Would really like a sex scene with her wearing it*

*A scene between MC and Ellie, where Jada is not present**
**By 'not present' I mean that Jada does not partake in the scene, is not present at the scene, does not interrupt the scene, is not later revealed to have been clandestinely observing the scene, is, perhaps, not aware the scene is taking place and might, conceivably, never be told of the events that transpire in the scene

More Ellie, less Jada, I suppose is the theme. I didn't mind her at first but she's just everywhere, sick of her face.
 

GetOutOfMyLab

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This is a very cute uh, negligee or whatever. Would really like a sex scene with her wearing it*

*A scene between MC and Ellie, where Jada is not present**
**By 'not present' I mean that Jada does not partake in the scene, is not present at the scene, does not interrupt the scene, is not later revealed to have been clandestinely observing the scene, is, perhaps, not aware the scene is taking place and might, conceivably, never be told of the events that transpire in the scene

More Ellie, less Jada, I suppose is the theme. I didn't mind her at first but she's just everywhere, sick of her face.
This made me chuckle a bit. I was a fan of Jada. I think she's hot. I think she's fun. But the fact that she is constantly in the way and has robbed me of my time with Kate, I'm really fucking sick of that shit, too lol.
 

Dogorti

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Jan 23, 2021
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This made me chuckle a bit. I was a fan of Jada. I think she's hot. I think she's fun. But the fact that she is constantly in the way and has robbed me of my time with Kate, I'm really fucking sick of that shit, too lol.
tbf was the script who stole that moment not her, you people leave jada alone (?)
 
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Joshy92

Devoted Member
Mar 25, 2021
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Wait Ellie & Rachell had sex?
my game ended with Rachell in her undies
Am i missing something
 

Jorund

Member
Jun 10, 2018
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My game ended with rachel running form my room in her undies
I think i will have to start the game again and see how to get that scene
Using the outdated multi-mod? When it replaces the script.rpy it'll end at the spot for the version of the mod.
 

Joshy92

Devoted Member
Mar 25, 2021
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Okay I just replayed the game and got that scene it was so hot
Now I'm really looking forward to the next update lol
 
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