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Aug 5, 2016
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Overview:
There was once a powerful demon who could control the thoughts and actions of others and use them as it pleased.
For thousands of years, the demon roamed the earth, spreading fear and terror wherever it went. Its magic was so subtle and effective that once you were caught in its web, it was nearly impossible to escape.
Eventually, the people came together and sealed it away, ending its reign of terror once and for all.

This is the lie they told their children about you.
Thread Updated: 2024-12-22
Release Date: 2024-12-21
Developer: UnusualFishGame - - - - F95zone
Censored: No
Version: 0.6.8 Patreon
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac, Android
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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Extras:
M.Alice thx for the links

screenshot25.png ss3.png screenshot2.png ss5.png screenshot (2).png screenshot (1).png screenshot (4).png screenshot (3).png another screenshot.png ss2.png image (15).png ss4.png yet another screenshot.png probably still not the last one.png screenshot (1).png screenshot (4).png screenshot (2).png screenshot (3).png
 
Last edited by a moderator:

ryansFLYIN

Member
Sep 19, 2022
453
1,445
The single option "choices" you're using for the MC's dialogue need to go. If we don't have an actual choice, just show the words as actual dialogue as you would for another character. Having to click every other frame is tedious and annoying.

Also, "You feels" should be "You feel". Saw it in a few places.
 

HolyFish

Member
Game Developer
Sep 5, 2020
154
423
The single option "choices" you're using for the MC's dialogue need to go. If we don't have an actual choice, just show the words as actual dialogue as you would for another character. Having to click every other frame is tedious and annoying.

Also, "You feels" should be "You feel". Saw it in a few places.
Noted, thank you! I want to make a silent protagonist so that the player can easily self-insert but I guess I completely missed the mark when I give them only 1 option to talk, I will change it so that there will be 2-3 options next time.
 
Oct 11, 2018
134
94
um might want to work on the description/Overview a bit. It just world lore nothing about where the game is actually about. Is the MC a demon hunter trying to find this " powerful demon " it speaks of or is the MC a victim that will be attacked by it or is the MC just a random citizen in the world or what?

edit: "This is the lie they told their children about you." is my dyslexia really so bad I missed that? I'm pretty sure it didn't say that first time I read oh well :D
 
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ChaosOpen

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Sep 26, 2019
1,014
2,144
Noted, thank you! I want to make a silent protagonist so that the player can easily self-insert but I guess I completely missed the mark when I give them only 1 option to talk, I will change it so that there will be 2-3 options next time.
That is not actually how self insert works. If you want people to identify with a protagonist you need to create a strong central character with goals and flaws people can identify with. The reason you do that is because if you took 1,000 different watchers and put them in this scenario you would get 1,000 different responses to the same situation. As soon as the MC chooses a different response from the one they would choose, it breaks all immersion. That is why you use a unique character who is similar to the audience but not supposed to be them, that way they can empathize with him and live the story vicariously through him without breaking immersion.
 

52637

Member
Apr 29, 2021
147
339
Adding extra choices to the single choices is not the solution. The solution is removing the buttons because they're pointless.

My personal feedback is don't ruin your game with sandbox, map exploration things. It's just tedious nonsense to make the game take longer.
 

ryansFLYIN

Member
Sep 19, 2022
453
1,445
Noted, thank you! I want to make a silent protagonist so that the player can easily self-insert but I guess I completely missed the mark when I give them only 1 option to talk, I will change it so that there will be 2-3 options next time.
I wouldn't say the number of choices is the problem - it's the constant need to pick a choice. Players can self-insert because you allow them to name the character. We all understand that we don't pick everything that the MC says; I'd say we mainly care about being able to make important decisions, especially regarding relationships. You can pick what the MC says. We trust you enough to be able to do that, otherwise we wouldn't care about the game.

Just pick how the MC responds and show it as dialogue, not an option. Again, it's the constant need to click that's going to be an issue. And in a sandbox game, there is already enough of that.

Edit: Adding, if you gave the MC 2-3 choices for every dialogue, you are just making more work for yourself, or making pointless choices if they both lead to the same reaction from the NPC. These lead to longer development time and a feel of a lack of actual agency over the MC, respectively.
 

zeraligator

Well-Known Member
May 25, 2018
1,330
1,033
It's he/she feels, I/you/they feel.
Also, "Did I overslept" should be oversleep.
"Why you sneaked out" should be snuck out.

"But you always finish it one day after it is assigned!" is incorrectly attributed to Ai.
"She starts to moans" should be moan.
"I can't believe you fall asleep too." should be fell
"Hana is very smart and a lot more social than I am. It's great that she is helping as well." is incorrectly attributed to Hana herself.

"Yes, it's very likely that Wrath is the one who weakens his seal." should be weakened. (unless he's still doing so)
"How do I know what he wants with him?" do should be should.
"How the hell do I know where he is?!" same as the last.

Your English is rather good, your biggest pitfall seems to be verbs and their conjugation.

I really appreciate that nudity is optional for the sex scenes, don't see that too often/
 
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HolyFish

Member
Game Developer
Sep 5, 2020
154
423
That is not actually how self insert works. If you want people to identify with a protagonist you need to create a strong central character with goals and flaws people can identify with. The reason you do that is because if you took 1,000 different watchers and put them in this scenario you would get 1,000 different responses to the same situation. As soon as the MC chooses a different response from the one they would choose, it breaks all immersion. That is why you use a unique character who is similar to the audience but not supposed to be them, that way they can empathize with him and live the story vicariously through him without breaking immersion.
I wouldn't say the number of choices is the problem - it's the constant need to pick a choice. Players can self-insert because you allow them to name the character. We all understand that we don't pick everything that the MC says; I'd say we mainly care about being able to make important decisions, especially regarding relationships. You can pick what the MC says. We trust you enough to be able to do that, otherwise we wouldn't care about the game.

Just pick how the MC responds and show it as dialogue, not an option. Again, it's the constant need to click that's going to be an issue. And in a sandbox game, there is already enough of that.

Edit: Adding, if you gave the MC 2-3 choices for every dialogue, you are just making more work for yourself, or making pointless choices if they both lead to the same reaction from the NPC. These lead to longer development time and a feel of a lack of actual agency over the MC, respectively.
HAREM? GREAT!!

But what are the future tags?
and for god sake get rid of the single choices please.

good luck!
Adding extra choices to the single choices is not the solution. The solution is removing the buttons because they're pointless.

My personal feedback is don't ruin your game with sandbox, map exploration things. It's just tedious nonsense to make the game take longer.
These are very insightful feedback, thank you all! I will remove the single-choice dialogue and let the MC speak like an actual character. Will post the change after a couple of days.
By the way, Should I also remove the narrator "you are feeling that" too?
edit: What I meant to say is if I should remove the narrating part and have the mc react to it instead ( like when MC is feeling sad and lost, he will say something like "Why did things change so much in such a short time?")
 
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YogSothoth1982

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
8,485
11,663
These are very insightful feedback, thank you all! I will remove the single-choice dialogue and let the MC speak like an actual character. Will post the change after a couple of days.
By the way, Should I also remove the narrator "Mc is doing this, Mc is feeling this" too?
Actually, it usually works better for immersion if instead of MC (understanding the name of the MC) you use you; that is: You feel fear, You are going to eat, etc.
 
4.10 star(s) 19 Votes