- Thread starter MrVNA
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Tanurak
Member
- Apr 26, 2021
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Ok after replaying this I was able to isolate the issues to mostly Autumn and the MC, after you meet the homeless girl again, things after that have no extreme cases of what I am about to show.
First, I am on the line that the character don't need to be with their mouth open every time they say something. You may disagree with me because it's personal preference and I think there is no consensus on this.
But if the character has their mouth open, you need to follow two rules, matching the character tone in the dialogue, and be pleasing to look at.
Autumn's model really makes it difficult to make the second rule work. Especially her eyes.
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Both match the dialogue but it doesn't look okay on her.
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Here it both matches the doesn't look bad on her but I believe you had better options than this mouth open wide, because I think the MC is trying to deescalate the situation. But this expression stay with her during several lines in the dialogue.
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OK, both MC expressions might make some users ask themselves "What kind of MC I'm playing here?". First one, Autumn's face was great, but MC didn't even need to be with his mouth open because it isn't his line and he is looking at nowhere.
Second image the dialogue matches but MC cannot defend himself from being accused (by me) from being a creep with this look. Ironically the eyes are the culprit now, he looks more aroused than the girl he's touching, and she is literally orgasming.
Again, all this shit is highly subjective and 100% I could organize and elaborate this better but it's 4am and I am not in my PC. Also I'll mention again that after the homeless girl reappears this issue of mine kinda goes away, mostly because when she has her mouth wide open for no particular reason it does not look as unpleasing as Autumn. Wonder what will happen if she shows up again.
- Dec 11, 2024
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I see what you mean and thanks for really breaking it down. I've still got a lot to learn when it comes to these renders, but this really helps. When I get off work, I'm definitely copying this into my notes. So I can make sure I work on this problem for episode two.
One thing you might try is getting another person, or people, to sit down and run through some of the dialogue with you, and record it. You can direct the other person(s) to give the level of emotion you want to convey, and then you'll have reference footage to review while you work on the characters' expressions.
edit: P.S. This is also a great way to get additional feedback on the dialogue itself, and hearing it out loud may let you see things that could be changed to sound more like natural conversation. It's really easy for writing to come out sounding robotic or unnatural if you don't hear it spoken aloud.
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- Dec 11, 2024
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- Sep 20, 2018
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- Dec 11, 2024
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Hey manI must have missed the park where you were an a hole. It's funny because, you know, at first I really, he wasn't going to make the male lead black, because I know that when it comes to this type of content, it's usually right, not something that works or that is accepted. I also have the entire story up until the season three ( yes, I went that far ahead, because i'm a writer first) but I would still love some other ideas and input if you're up for it. Shoot me a message, either on here or on discord, and let's chat.
Looks like a decent premise so far. There are some polish issues holding it back that aren't really hardware dependent, IMO; hopefully you can fix them for the next release.
The eyes are kind of off. They don't always sit naturally in the sockets, they curve a bit strangely in some views creating a cross-eyed effect, they reflect the light strangely sometimes, and they sit at strange angles in some angled/profiled views. I think I see what you're going for: a more natural, less-stylized eye type than most VNs have. You're pretty close for the quality, you just need to make some adjustments at certain angles.
The lighting can be a bit all over the place. Sometimes your sources seem way off, and it feels like each character has their own source in some scenes, resulting in some crazy shifts from render to render. There also seems to be an issue with the resolution of nipples/genitalia and the rest of the body. I know you have to combine those assets separately and it can prove to be difficult depending on the models and rendering setup, but it's something that'd be worth your attention.
The nipples need some sort of areola graft. Even "ghost nipples" have textured areola. The lack of transition from skin to nipple is kinda offputting. Or maybe the tone for the lighter characters areola is similar enough to the rest of their body that it's hard to see the areola at the resolution they're rendered?
This is more of a personal thing, but I'm not a fan of "dream/fantasy" sex on a first release, feels like cheating to avoid pacing issues from jumping right into hardcore. I'd rather there be no hardcore on a first release unless it's super long and there's some buildup/exposition on how we got there, or it's well integrated into the context of the story and doesn't feel super gratuitous, but that's just me.
Also was kinda hoping that Dani was the MC's daughter and her mom was his wife, but oh well, we can't have everything we want =P.
The eyes are kind of off. They don't always sit naturally in the sockets, they curve a bit strangely in some views creating a cross-eyed effect, they reflect the light strangely sometimes, and they sit at strange angles in some angled/profiled views. I think I see what you're going for: a more natural, less-stylized eye type than most VNs have. You're pretty close for the quality, you just need to make some adjustments at certain angles.
The lighting can be a bit all over the place. Sometimes your sources seem way off, and it feels like each character has their own source in some scenes, resulting in some crazy shifts from render to render. There also seems to be an issue with the resolution of nipples/genitalia and the rest of the body. I know you have to combine those assets separately and it can prove to be difficult depending on the models and rendering setup, but it's something that'd be worth your attention.
The nipples need some sort of areola graft. Even "ghost nipples" have textured areola. The lack of transition from skin to nipple is kinda offputting. Or maybe the tone for the lighter characters areola is similar enough to the rest of their body that it's hard to see the areola at the resolution they're rendered?
This is more of a personal thing, but I'm not a fan of "dream/fantasy" sex on a first release, feels like cheating to avoid pacing issues from jumping right into hardcore. I'd rather there be no hardcore on a first release unless it's super long and there's some buildup/exposition on how we got there, or it's well integrated into the context of the story and doesn't feel super gratuitous, but that's just me.
Also was kinda hoping that Dani was the MC's daughter and her mom was his wife, but oh well, we can't have everything we want =P.
- Dec 11, 2024
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The MC is black. I won't ever do NTR in this VN or others I create.
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QuangLakos
Newbie
- Mar 14, 2024
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- Dec 11, 2024
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In season 1, there will be a total of 9. In seasons 2 and beyond, no idea. But just know Im fully dedicated to this universe so I have a season 3 planned along with holiday episodes.