The way we have written the game, and the characters, is you, as Fred, have choices. Those choices are not always direct, meaning, you don't get a say in each scene. You chose to let your wife be a hotwife. After this, it is her choice how she reacts to this.
Fred gets to choose who he fucks, but you do not make decisions for other players in the game, only influence those choices by your choices/actions. So if you made a decision to be on the hotwife path, then you are on that path.
As for Fred and Mary, and those choices for Fred always being bad, if Mary doesn't give consent, your choices play into this also. There is an appearance of consent by her, but this consent is also depending on your choices. The Rachel scene, the Julia scene, and even the Charlotte scene. She never says no randomly, if you are on the hotwife path for these, then you get to fuck others just like she does. The only real difference is we like to make some scenes a surprise, and not give them away before hand.
If you are on cheating path, well sorry, too bad for Fred. He made his choices, and now has to pay the consequences.