VN Ren'Py A Wife and Mother [P1 v0.152] [Lust & Passion]

[Dr.SigmundFap]

He could definitely use a proofreader. He could get better suggestions. Like in the last update v0.130 I was unhappy with the writing as I felt inconsistencies in it and also it being very unconvincing. Maybe it was because he was already off schedule so he rushed with the dialogues. But pretty much every scene had something about its writing that upset me. A proofreader could ensure the consistency in the vocabulary used by characters as well as ensure an overall better written scene.

I don't know how he could feel rushed with the dialogues. It took him 23 days for P&T on v1.30, which had more scenes than this upcoming version, which is one week shy of an entire month to complete.

PS - 5.11.21 - 5.21.21 > 11 Days = 100%
P&T - 5.21.21 - 6.12.21 > 23 Days = 100%
V1.30 released - 6.14.21 > 2 Days of Testing before the release.

L&P was working with a translator (proofreader), which I believe was 6-8 hours or around that, in a different time zone, and he stated that he worked between 8-11 hours a day for v1.30. On average, he was translating roughly 2.5 pages a day. And if you take into consideration this statement,



I'm sure he may have to edit some scenes, but if every scene needs editing... Yeah, then he would need a second pair of eyes on his draft. But there are people, and I am one of those people, on this forum who is speculating that he has an outline or idea drafted on paper and not an actual script, and another person on the forums said he worked with L&P once. He would only send him sentences or phrases at a time (I would need to look up what page that person posted on this forum.) This, if true, would cut into the time significantly for P&T and add to the complexity of P&T based on he doesn't want his "Script" in fear that his story could be leaked.

Overall, If he did feel rushed then it may have been a result of poor planning or procrastination?

 

[Sabertooth__]

I don't know how he could feel rushed with the dialogues. It took him 23 days for P&T on v1.30, which had more scenes than this upcoming version, which is one week shy of an entire month to complete.

PS - 5.11.21 - 5.21.21 > 11 Days = 100%
P&T - 5.21.21 - 6.12.21 > 23 Days = 100%
V1.30 released - 6.14.21 > 2 Days of Testing before the release.

L&P was working with a translator (proofreader), which I believe was 6-8 hours or around that, in a different time zone, and he stated that he worked between 8-11 hours a day for v1.30. On average, he was translating roughly 2.5 pages a day. And if you take into consideration this statement,

View attachment 1469792

I'm sure he may have to edit some scenes, but if every scene needs editing... Yeah, then he would need a second pair of eyes on his draft. But there are people, and I am one of those people, on this forum who is speculating that he has an outline or idea drafted on paper and not an actual script, and another person on the forums said he worked with L&P once. He would only send him sentences or phrases at a time (I would need to look up what page that person posted on this forum.) This, if true, would cut into the time significantly for P&T and add to the complexity of P&T based on he doesn't want his "Script" in fear that his story could be leaked.

Overall, If he did feel rushed then it may have been a result of poor planning or procrastination?

Things were pretty heated back then, that update was an absolute collapse of planning and management too. Maybe it's not reason. The only thing I am certain of is that almost every scene in the last update made me feel that the writing is weak. It is inconsistent or the vocabulary doesn't suit the character and many other issues.

So from this update all I really wish for from him is to do good writing.

 

[hmc15]

From what I have heard his Patrons wants the two side jobs dropped as they think that it takes up too much time but we shall see

If his Paterons want the game changed then either stop supporting the game or make their own game. Insanity how entitled people become when they're donating $5/month....

Happy L&P is open to suggestions - SOMETIMES - but is focused on delivering HIS PROJECT. When you crowdsource things it quickly becomes a clusterfuc* so let the creator, author, artist, and producer continue making his project the way he wants

 

[GingerSweetGirl]

I don't know how he could feel rushed with the dialogues. It took him 23 days for P&T on v1.30, which had more scenes than this upcoming version, which is one week shy of an entire month to complete.

PS - 5.11.21 - 5.21.21 > 11 Days = 100%
P&T - 5.21.21 - 6.12.21 > 23 Days = 100%
V1.30 released - 6.14.21 > 2 Days of Testing before the release.

L&P was working with a translator (proofreader), which I believe was 6-8 hours or around that, in a different time zone, and he stated that he worked between 8-11 hours a day for v1.30. On average, he was translating roughly 2.5 pages a day. And if you take into consideration this statement,

View attachment 1469792

I'm sure he may have to edit some scenes, but if every scene needs editing... Yeah, then he would need a second pair of eyes on his draft. But there are people, and I am one of those people, on this forum who is speculating that he has an outline or idea drafted on paper and not an actual script, and another person on the forums said he worked with L&P once. He would only send him sentences or phrases at a time (I would need to look up what page that person posted on this forum.) This, if true, would cut into the time significantly for P&T and add to the complexity of P&T based on he doesn't want his "Script" in fear that his story could be leaked.

Overall, If he did feel rushed then it may have been a result of poor planning or procrastination?

I feel like there was a noticable drop in the quality of the script two updates ago. Isn't that when he lost his former proofer? I feel like that was the first time I noticed Engrish creeping into the game. It wasn't horrible, but there were telltale syntax errors that are common with non-native speaking people. This last update seemed to be better, but that makes sense because I think he had a proofreader.

 

[bayrischman]

I have a question. based on this document:
https://attachments.f95zone.to/2019/04/294575_Character_Directory.pdf
Which male hero is the most attractive? (from your point of view).
thanks.

nr. 1 janitor . nr2 ivan . nr.3 blonde guy in fitness. nr.4 two black guys in fitness. nr. 5 logan. nr. 6 liams boss.

 

[Dr.SigmundFap]

I feel like there was a noticable drop in the quality of the script two updates ago. Isn't that when he lost his former proofer? I feel like that was the first time I noticed Engrish creeping into the game. It wasn't horrible, but there were telltale syntax errors that are common with non-native speaking people. This last update seemed to be better, but that makes sense because I think he had a proofreader.

I don't know if he lost or removed his proofer, but yeah, the text was horrible at the start. However, the English sentence structure has improved quite a bit. But Engrish was always around from Day 1 in his novel. I know he corrected it when the next version was released. But if what was said by the other poster that he would only send sentences and phrases at a time, which context and word structure would suffer greatly. Also, I understand that L&P knows English well, and I think he even teaches it or has taught it.

 

[Deleted member 3325933]

I have a question. based on this document:
https://attachments.f95zone.to/2019/04/294575_Character_Directory.pdf
Which male hero is the most attractive? (from your point of view).
thanks.

I opened the document and was immediately confused. None of them fill the role of 'Hero' in my mind. This is a personality thing ultimately, not physical. It is one area in his story that is shallow. None of the males seem to be 'Hero' quality. Not even good 'Dad' material. (Neil is an ass with a cheezy goatee and Liam (no matter the route) is focused on career and not family at all. He has a Dad role to play and keeps dumping shit on Sophia. IMO!

DOH! Earlier I had an attempt at humor of L&P reading a post and starting to think of himself as the second George Lucas (Never ending directors cuts and rewrites). Does this weak male character, weak father story line fall into the same Father issues Lucas is known to have. I am terrified to consider the path forward. Aaarrrggh, I said the word! Soap now! Lifebouy even!

And deleted in .....

 

[bayrischman]

can someone make a story when sophia meets logan and tyler in town and she has wild sex with in tyler,s apartment. and the next day the postman asks her because tyler is his nephew and the apartment belongs to the postman.

 

[PietruccioTheHilander]

In terms of attractive males of the game based on this file. I would say Liam, Zac, Dylan and Sam. Rest I don't think are good looking at all.

there are a lot of situation where obscene actions could develop. for example the first sauna scene with ellie and patricia; a teasing action could also be developed there.

 

[Deleted member 3325933]

If his Paterons want the game changed then either stop supporting the game or make their own game. Insanity how entitled people become when they're donating $5/month....

Happy L&P is open to suggestions - SOMETIMES - but is focused on delivering HIS PROJECT. When you crowdsource things it quickly becomes a clusterfuc* so let the creator, author, artist, and producer continue making his project the way he wants

I agree the marketplace can dump him if he does not meet the needs. However. If they are paying him they have the right to ask for certain things to be done certain ways. It does not mean they get it. They have the right to ask. Then it is their choice whether to continue $$$$ or not.

In a simple example. You pay someone to write a story/script for you. There are certain parameters agreed to as a start. Then you see changes you want made. If the writer wants to keep the job (Play, movie, book series whatever) adjustments to the concepts are made to accomodate the person with the cash. The writer may be aghast at the change of vision but, that is what happens when working for someone else.

The patrons are paying him (Max or min machts nichts). You are absolutely correct they can walk. You are absolutely wrong that they cannot request or demand things. It is the nature of having 'skin' in the game. L&P's decision then is: does he accommodate them, convince them otherwise, or place them on ignore. It is how the market works.

And every six months, roughly, he gets a fresh infusion of patrons that hang about for a bit, some stay longer others bolt sooner. It is the game he is banking. IMO

 

[Talcum Powder]

When do you think us plebs will get to play it though if the game completion is in mid November? Early December?

That’s up to the higher tier Patreons but usually it’s here on F95 in less than 12 hours.

 

[palmtrees89]

Also, I understand that L&P knows English well, and I think he even teaches it or has taught it.

Seeing L&P's grammar and terminology in most of his posts makes this really hard to believe, to say the least. I could see him teaching his little sister some basic English vocabulary to improve her grades in elementary school or something, but an actual English teacher? There's no way, sorry. Don't get me wrong, English aint my first language either, but...no, just no. L&P is/was a student himself before cancelling his college courses to become a full-time game developer according to his Patreon goals, so I really don't see how he'd be teaching people the English language, unless he was actually studying to become a teacher. But that would make it even worse considering the posts L&P comes up with.

 

[L&P's Father-in-Law]

If his Paterons want the game changed then either stop supporting the game or make their own game. Insanity how entitled people become when they're donating $5/month....

Happy L&P is open to suggestions - SOMETIMES - but is focused on delivering HIS PROJECT. When you crowdsource things it quickly becomes a clusterfuc* so let the creator, author, artist, and producer continue making his project the way he wants

And here you have it boys, the goalposts keep moving.

2 years ago it was:
"You're not even a patron, you don't even support the project so just stop talking"
Then it was
"You're just donating what? 1$. What say do you think you have in it?"
Now we are at
" Insanity how entitled people become when they're donating $5/month"

Soon only top 38$ patrons can give their opinion, but only if it's a good opinion, the rest can just pay up and shut up.

 

[Dr.SigmundFap]

Seeing L&P's grammar and terminology in most of his posts makes this really hard to believe, to say the least. I could see him teaching his little sister some basic English vocabulary to improve her grades in elementary school or something, but an actual English teacher? There's no way, sorry. Don't get me wrong, English aint my first language either, but...no, just no. L&P is/was a student himself before cancelling his college courses to become a full-time game developer according to his Patreon goals, so I really don't see how he'd be teaching people the English language, unless he was actually studying to become a teacher. But that would make it even worse considering the posts L&P comes up with.

I don't know what degree he teaches at and who he teaches, It could be small children the basics of English, but I agree. His English would not be top-tier college level.

I don't know if you can take his canceling college courses seriously. As many times as he has moved the goal post for the last two tiers.

Current:


Unless you have a valid confirmation that he did indeed cancel his courses to work on this full time, I would take this statement with a grain of salt.

 

[palmtrees89]

I don't know what degree he teaches at and who he teaches, It could be small children the basics of English, but I agree. His English would not be top-tier college level.

I don't know if you can take his canceling college courses seriously. As many times as he has moved the goal post for the last two tiers.

Current:
View attachment 1469912

Unless you have a valid confirmation that he did indeed cancel his courses to work on this full time, I would take this statement with a grain of salt.

I totally agree. I've always questioned the fulfillment of any Patreon goal L&P has. And we can see why by looking at every single one of them.

 

[Dr.SigmundFap]

I totally agree. I've always questioned the fulfillment of any Patreon goal L&P has. And we can see why by looking at every single one of them.

When he had around 1000 Patreon subs, he meet that goal many times. And I say that, because of the monthly reset, but it always went back up.

 

[V.scaletta]

1.5.0 No aiden Event ?
thank for sexless update

 

[PietruccioTheHilander]

1.5.0 No aiden Event ?
thank for sexless game

fixed

 

[XaGnard]

If his Paterons want the game changed then either stop supporting the game or make their own game. Insanity how entitled people become when they're donating $5/month....

Happy L&P is open to suggestions - SOMETIMES - but is focused on delivering HIS PROJECT. When you crowdsource things it quickly becomes a clusterfuc* so let the creator, author, artist, and producer continue making his project the way he wants

If you ask the public to support your project, you will not only receive money, but also comments. This has always been the case and it should not be any issue. Of course, this also means comments on the quality and quantity of the results arising from the project.

Especially with L&P, but also some other games developers here, I think the community should pay much more attention to how realistic a project really is. If a developer does not recognize the limits of what is feasible, so that a project would take decades to implement, it is important that the community recognizes this and discusses it accordingly. Some projects would benefit from a few more critical donors. It helps to focus on the essentials and to really perform and not just make promises.

 

[palmtrees89]

When he had around 1000 Patreon subs, he meet that goal many times. And I say that, because of the monthly reset, but it always went back up.

Yeah, instead of new goals that would benefit the game and it's development, he's simply increasing the requirements to meet his final goal again and again. He could create a goal to help pay for licensed music, expensive assets(if that's even a thing) or whatever, but no. The way he does it is really just fishing for more Patreons, because when people see the final goal, they'll most likely be like; "Oh dang! Let's help him reach that final goal so we get faster updates!". Atleast that's what I'd be thinking anyway.