I know you didn't ask me, but let me jump in because I'm bored. I would say that the game's inconsistencies are with Sophia's corruption progression. Namely the problem is with the second side job which just screws everything up since it's such an extreme event for a woman who hasn't shown behavior like that anywhere else. Within the writing itself there are some inconsistencies in grammar and syntax that a proofreader could help with. These inconsistencies can be minor, but in my opinion they begin to add up and make a product look sloppy. But, in worst case scenario, they can confuse the audience if the message of the text is not being properly conveyed. Things like humor or tension can live or die by the choice of a single word, and the use of the wrong word can strip a scene of its intended meaning.
As a non-English speaking person, I have long said that L&P's writing is actually his weakness. He has a good story, but his story telling is weak because he's not working in his native language. A true proofreader would not only help him with grammar and syntax corrections, but would provide support for story structure so that everything flows best.
I hope that there's more to the Don Morello story than it appears because he's an interesting character. This would be one of those times when L&P should use a porn trope because it would make the game more interesting. If L&P only introduced Morello for one purpose and he goes away, that would be a terrible waste.
