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Young_Naughty

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 19, 2018
633
1,404
rly so after all this years still nothing with her?
Demand for her was far lower than for other characters we added, even lower than for some of our original ones, like Andre. That's why we didn't prioritize adding content that would include her. Also, taking into account the sizes of the routes we make, it's not as easy to just cough out new routes one after another. We could always just cut them in half, but I doubt that our community would like it, considering the surprising amount of people who's playing for the story.
 
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DerKER

Member
Jul 14, 2017
236
165
Are you guys gonna change all the OW character's names or are you just changing the new ones that get added?
 

drifter139

Well-Known Member
Dec 11, 2019
1,500
1,350
All of them, but we are going to add an option in game, that will allow you to change the name of any character to whatever you like.
please leave McCree like he is. hearing him go crazy about being called Jesse is funny and 1 of my favorite things
 

Evil13

Engaged Member
Jun 4, 2019
3,338
13,491
please leave McCree like he is. hearing him go crazy about being called Jesse is funny and 1 of my favorite things
I imagine the name might change, as Cassidy, as he was renamed, was originally named for a Blizzard employee...who was later revealed to be part of the rampant sexual harassment at Blizzard.
 

FlorpFlorble

New Member
Dec 16, 2017
5
21
The writing has a lot of problems and seems to be actively getting worse as the game progresses, but I think the fastest and easiest change to make would be to just... cut at least 30% out. Every piece of information is given three to five times over, it feels like being spoonfed and then being hit over the head with the spoon.
 

Young_Naughty

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 19, 2018
633
1,404
The writing has a lot of problems and seems to be actively getting worse as the game progresses, but I think the fastest and easiest change to make would be to just... cut at least 30% out. Every piece of information is given three to five times over, it feels like being spoonfed and then being hit over the head with the spoon.
Can you give an example of the problematic parts? And in which stories did you notice it the most?
 

FlorpFlorble

New Member
Dec 16, 2017
5
21
Can you give an example of the problematic parts? And in which stories did you notice it the most?
I'd honestly pick an example chapter for yourself, I'd suggest one of the most recent Mei or Hana chapters, and mark its current wordcount. Make it a challenge to cut 20% of that wordcount. You're going to see for yourself far better than I could point out to you what needs to be cut. You are going to see what I mean and you are going to see how much better it reads if you try it. It's a good exercise because you have to stop asking if any individual line is good enough, and ask if those lines are better than anything else that would have to be cut instead, and I think that change in perspective would really help a lot.

The most consistent area the repetition happens seems to be the endings of scenes, the recap and debrief moments in every character's storyline.

Otherwise, I'd say

1: Needlessly breaking events into multiple days or conversations is another consistent part of the story that absolutely kills pacing. Bridgette's storyline was the worst offender of this, Mei's had issues as well.

2: The protagonist is too passive. This isn't the same as being submissive, the rope scenes were especially cute, but the protagonist doesn't seem to take initiative or act with agency. Most of his personality and charm is simply stated to exist by other characters without his actions really justifying it. This is super weak writing practice, the protagonist needs to actually do things that justifies the attraction beyond showing up. This is probably one of the reasons why Sombra's storyline feels better, because she's the only character the MC has taken an active engagement with. The worst offender is, sorry to say, your OC anxiety girl storyline - she just seduces herself at you. It also shows with the main character just denying the supernatural despite the audience having overwhelming evidence he shouldn't, and watching Mothra have to drag him through that story. Why would an audience want to identify with that? It's distancing.

3: The characters don't need to be realistic, but they lack something real in them. It's not wrong to write wish fulfilment archetypes, but when it feels like the characters begin and end entirely at those archetypes. It's the difference between eating cake and just eating sugar straight from the jar. I think this story would benefit a lot from its teasing and buildup scenes being a lot more about actively giving the characters something to do that isn't each other, and the erotic scene payoffs being natural outcomes from that. Just erotic scenes into erotic scenes is playing a song without chord changes - it gives that spoonfuls of sugar feeling.

Right now the current buffer events between those payoffs aren't used to establish character effectively, they're prioritizing establishing obstacles.
 
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Young_Naughty

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 19, 2018
633
1,404
1: Needlessly breaking events into multiple days or conversations is another consistent part of the story that absolutely kills pacing. Bridgette's storyline was the worst offender of this, Mei's had issues as well.
This is the curse of our "episodic" approach towards releasing the story. The majority of our players wouldn't want to replay the entirety of the route whenever we drop the next update for any particular character, so instead we have to put small reminders of events that already transpired every now and then. While it might not be the ideal solution, and in rare cases it might look as if we do not trust the players in remembering something that seemingly happened not that long ago, it's one of the better ways of keeping player's memory fresh, especially considering that not everyone blazes through the game in one go. While I don't think this particular moment would be addressed, because it's not so much a problem, than just a side-effect of the episodic releases, in the future projects we would probably refrain from using the same method.

2: The protagonist is too passive. This isn't the same as being submissive, the rope scenes were especially cute, but the protagonist doesn't seem to take initiative or act with agency. Most of his personality and charm is simply stated to exist by other characters without his actions really justifying it. This is super weak writing practice, the protagonist needs to actually do things that justifies the attraction beyond showing up. This is probably one of the reasons why Sombra's storyline feels better, because she's the only character the MC has taken an active engagement with. The worst offender is, sorry to say, your OC anxiety girl storyline - she just seduces herself at you. It also shows with the main character just denying the supernatural despite the audience having overwhelming evidence he shouldn't, and watching Mothra have to drag him through that story. Why would an audience want to identify with that? It's distancing.
Our MC is purposely written as a "reactive" character, rather than "proactive". He doesn't slam his way into the lives of others, and more often just wants to meet new people, expand his circle of friends, or just is too curious for his own good, but still respects the boundaries of others. While writing a reactive Main Character is commonly accepted as a flaw in any form of media, our game is heavily focused on the sexual relationships between people, so a proactive character would have a much higher chance to appear as an asshole, who puts his needs above else and actively looking for someone new to get into the bed together. Writing our MC in exactly this way was a purposeful decision to support the heavy emphasis we put on consent. While he is passive to certain extent, saying that his charm is simply stated to exist, and now shown is not exactly true, considering the amount of times he's gone out of his way to help people around him guided by his somewhat foolish idealism. He always comforts people, listens to them when they need a shoulder to cry or scream in, does his best in giving advices, or, when it's not necessary, just supporting them to the best of his ability. It's true that he doesn't have some cool openers to start chats with people he doesn't know, or he might not be the master of witty conversations, he is that comfort person people often look to have in their lives. He is confident enough to approach someone, but not overly confident for his own good. The way we wrote him - is to be a teddy bear of a character, and sure, it has it's problems, but in my opinion it does exactly what we wanted to achieve mood-wise.

In regard of the shy OC girl, Andre - this is a fair point. She was the first OC to get her own story arc, and when we initially added her route, we didn't know how well our community would receive it, so we decided not to invest as much time and resources into her story, as we probably should've. Since then she became one of our community's favorites, so we plan to expand her storyline by adding more events and interactions before the first h-scene happens.

When it comes to "supernatural", I think it's more than fair that our MC doesn't believe it out right, especially considering that there was no supernatural elements in the game prior to Mothra's storyline whatsoever. While, of course, trying to compare the fiction to reality isn't the best idea, it still important to keep in mind that the majority of people would try to find rational explanation to anything that on the first glance would look like supernatural event, and our character is exactly that type of person. We tried to make this part of the story relatively short, to avoid making anyone feel as if they are fighting against the MC and his disbelief, and not the problems that he encountered, but I understand how this specific part might come as frustrating. Hopefully with the release of more Mothra's content, this moment will be overshadowed by the rest of her route in a good way.

3: The characters don't need to be realistic, but they lack something real in them. It's not wrong to write wish fulfilment archetypes, but when it feels like the characters begin and end entirely at those archetypes. It's the difference between eating cake and just eating sugar straight from the jar. I think this story would benefit a lot from its teasing and buildup scenes being a lot more about actively giving the characters something to do that isn't each other, and the erotic scene payoffs being natural outcomes from that. Just erotic scenes into erotic scenes is playing a song without chord changes - it gives that spoonfuls of sugar feeling.
While I completely agree with every point here, I really don't think that our game lacks in "cooldown" between every big h-scene, and usually enough things happen between characters jumping on each other for it not to feel rushed in any way. That being said, we are still planning on adding more story-only content, which will focus on getting to know characters better outside of their storyline, like going on a dates, hanging out, doing club activities together and so on. When it comes to the main storyline, we have to keep it relatively to-the-point, while also allowing enough time to make people care for the characters, because not everyone plays it for the plot. It is in many regards a balancing act between pleasing our readers, and the part of our player base that just wants to see hot steamy sex. For the first group, we will add the aforementioned side-stories, and the second group will still get to enjoy basically everything else.

Right now the current buffer events between those payoffs aren't used to establish character effectively, they're prioritizing establishing obstacles.
This is basically what I'm talking about: We have to keep the story to-the-point, mostly focusing on the actual reason everything happens, than allowing more ways to hangout, because that would bring more complains from those, who doesn't want to read. We will address it to the best of our ability by adding side-content.

Thank you for the extensive review and we will make sure to make notes while working on reworks and future content!
 

FlorpFlorble

New Member
Dec 16, 2017
5
21
Appreciate the really in depth response too, especially since I was being so critical. Appreciate what it means about how hard you're thinking about this content as well. I actually want to reply here just because it gives me an opportunity to say what I agree with here and what I think's positive, since that was a lot harder when I was just being about the problems I saw.

Totally understand your problem about episode updates and a release schedule, and that's helpful to remember. I sat through it and played all at once, and that's going to give me a very different experience to your subscribers who are your core paying audience and have to be your priority.

And I'd like to say that I agree with your intended tone for the main character and I think you accomplish everything you're describing trying to set out. It's a good thing to write, and good reasons to write that, and those feelings came through for me. I like the MC for it, and I think you nailed what I'm actually trying to suggest in the Andre storyline when he tried to stand up to the bullies, resolved it peacefully, and it ended well. It was the right thing to do, nobody asked him to do it, and he took initiative. That's the kind of active I mean. The recurring payoff that Default and Shrooms are a delight with Andre feels great, and the 'this happened because of MC' feels great.

If that's what you're thinking, I'd personally suggest having the MC just want things for his own reasons that aren't the character he's pursuing, and in actively pursuing that unrelated thing he ends up attracting someone. It lets the character feel more active and have things to do without falling into the risks you're pointing to. It'd be the difference between the MC earnestly trying to learn about magic and the book he's gotten and Mothra giving the sex dreams when she teaches him, and Mothra offering sex to get the MC interested in magic in the first place, right? It keeps the tone you want but just gives agency and initiative.[1]

Re; Cooldowns and pacing - Definitely, I don't think that kind of pacing is a problem here, and I don't think it feels rushed at all. I'm not recommending writing more than what you're writing by any means. I just think... I'm trying to work out how to say this.

I'll use Mei's arc as an example here. Most of her obstacle-focused arc was about the cataclysm and being a teacher, and the character arc was about the MC struggling to be a good student against how much he wanted her. They don't neatly tie together, so the cataclysm story doesn't really tie into the relationship, to the point when they do have sex Mei wonders why he's still thinking about the camera work.

An example different version of the storyline could have been Mei pushing the MC for more work after she really likes the drawings in his notebook, but professionalism is preventing her from admitting that. Maybe things escalate because she runs out of advanced work and excuses, or maybe when he starts taking the drawings out she starts dressing more provocatively in their private classes so he can't help but sketch in front of her. They still actually try talk to each other about literally anything else through the tension either way, and the cataclysm conversation can happen here instead. Whatever, you still have your same obstacles - studying for the increasingly difficult tests - but the objective doesn't just facilitate a break point. It feels more like the relationship is developing rather than just being facilitated, and the buildup is shown happening between the characters, not in their own heads on the other side of campus as exposition.

Either way, that's more what I mean. I would really like to see if the writing more often found ways to accomplish several things simultaneously rather than having it broken up into sequential moments serving only one purpose each.

[1] Edit - If he's a skeptic, working to disprove instead instead thinking Mothra's bullying him again. Realized it might have looked like I ignored that part of your reply and was just saying he shouldn't be a skeptic.
 
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Young_Naughty

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 19, 2018
633
1,404
If that's what you're thinking, I'd personally suggest having the MC just want things for his own reasons that aren't the character he's pursuing, and in actively pursuing that unrelated thing he ends up attracting someone. It lets the character feel more active and have things to do without falling into the risks you're pointing to. It'd be the difference between the MC earnestly trying to learn about magic and the book he's gotten and Mothra giving the sex dreams when she teaches him, and Mothra offering sex to get the MC interested in magic in the first place, right? It keeps the tone you want but just gives agency and initiative.[1]
That's a good way around it, and we already are implementing a similar approach to Widowmaker's story, where MC is motivated to do the right thing, as he usually is, thus actively pursuing what is a morally correct thing to do in his own eyes, by expositing Christian, the current Widow's boyfriend, as an asshole. Looking back at certain stories, I can see his "passive" behavior would seem more of a weakness in the overall writing, than a genuinely good narrative choice, even if we are trying to highlight the mutual consent in the relationship between him and whomever is around. We probably won't be fixing all of those issues, only the worst offenders, but in the future I'll make sure to push MC towards taking the initiative where it's fitting.

I'll use Mei's arc as an example here. Most of her obstacle-focused arc was about the cataclysm and being a teacher, and the character arc was about the MC struggling to be a good student against how much he wanted her. They don't neatly tie together, so the cataclysm story doesn't really tie into the relationship, to the point when they do have sex Mei wonders why he's still thinking about the camera work.
This is a very good example and I will definitely take an another look at her story to maybe expand interactions where possible and cut some unnecessary parts that work against the story. While her story arc in a vacuum might be interesting, there is definitely not enough chemistry going between characters to justify how close they actually became, apart from their mutual thirst of course. Once we finally get to updating the location and classes, I might rewrite the first quarter of her route just to add some moments, where they put aside their student-teacher relationship and start getting closer together as friends, and later sexual partners.

At the time of writing Mei's route, we wanted to highlight the forbidden nature of their relationship, since it's a kink on its own, and in doing so we definitely lost some of that romantic elements you can see in many other storylines, they never became friends and instead jumped straight to choking on each other's bodies. I will revisit her story once I get more time on my hands, and I will also make sure to keep all of those points in mind while designing upcoming Ana's route, which will include many of the similar elements.

In regard of Mothra's route, I will refrain from making any changes yet, because these problems might still be overshadowed once more things start going on, because it will account to around 20% of her overall story if similar routes are anything to go by length-wise.
 

DJbustnut

Member
Jul 20, 2022
295
360
New patreon post my only comment is ABS





Zahera, Intro Update — $20 release
First of all, we spent way too much time working on this update banner. Just look at the details — even the sweat sliding down her abs is animated! Ever since we managed to get our social media guy out of the warzone and into safety, the quality of our memes and promo materials skyrocketed, and it's all thanks to you.
But sentiments aside, it is time to introduce muscle ladies into our game. Sure, you can argue that Brigitte is one of them, but does she have such refined core muscles? Just look at them! Inspect the every little detail, every curve and nuance. Enjoy it, savour it, because it's finally here!
Zahera will squish you alive in between her thunder thighs, but only if you are persistent enough to earn the right to die the most honorable death. She is tough, but more than that, she is afraid of letting people down, not being taken seriously, and so many more things, hidden deep down, behind that bratty persona. Maybe she just needs someone, who can listen, someone, who will comfort her and give that necessary push to overcome her insecurities. Or maybe, just throwing this wild idea out there, she might benefit from someone, who can put her in her place. A person tough enough to tolerate her presence.
If you expected her to go easy on you, too bad. This story is all about MUSCLE, BEING TOUGH, UNCOMFORTABLY WET AND AROUSED! The perfect kind of story.

How to unlock Zahera's story: Her storyline becomes accessible in around midpoint of Mercy's questline. You need to visit the infirmary after a hangover and get through couple of connected events. After that, the next time you visit the infirmary, Zahera will be there and her questline will start. If you have already completed Mercy's storyline, just visit the infirmary.


DVA, PART 5 — $2 RELEASE
There it is — a fitting conclusion to the story we started in July. And it's not just a regular update, oh no! This is a second major release in a row, even more tightly packed with spice, than anything you've seen in the past couple of months. Two new h-scenes, both heavily story-driven, and this time they both are rather "special". The more we work on this project, the more we try to pivot from things that might be considered too vanilla, and this is a big step towards expanding the range of available kinks you may find in our game.
On top of everything else, this is the penultimate update in DVa's storyline. Just one more, and her story will finally be concluded. Well, almost. There will still be quite a lot to look forward to, but it's a little too early for spoilers. You will see everything for yourself.
Right now, our main focus is to make sure we finish as many storylines as we can before starting a massive overhaul project for ACADEMY34. While we can't share any dates, we can say that the majority of backgrounds have already been drawn, new mechanics have been planned, outdated routes are in the process of being rewritten, and our artists are updating the visuals for basically every little element of the game, be that our clunky interface, or character designs. Who knows, maybe the season of changes is closer that you might think?
But enough of pointless fantasizing! It's time savour the spice, and the spice we have! Something more risky than usual, more... public. DVa prepared a very special present for her very special partner. A key to her heart, so to speak. A tender to the touch, and with a built-in vibration motor.
Will you accept her gift?

How to access new DVa's content: Just contact her by using laptop in MC's room. If you get lost in the process, be sure to check the Quest Log in Phone menu!

DOWNLOAD:
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Early access is open to high tier patrons! If you enjoy what we do and would like to take part in shaping our game's future, be sure to join high ranks and get access to this and every upcoming closed testing, as well as many other rewards!
IMPORTANT: If you plan to pledge only to get access to this update, do not cancel your pledge before downloading the game. It might cause update to be inaccessible due to Patreon API bug. Do it only once you downloaded all you want.

OUR TWITTER:
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Our Twitter page is filled with stuff we WANT to post for everyone to see, but can't due to very strict Patreon rules. So, why don't you check it out? It has all kinds of extra content and all for a fair price of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
 
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