VN Ren'Py Abandoned Adventurerotica [v0.2] [Andromax]

[7767]

Overview:
Adventurerotica Is A Customizable, Choice Based, Visual Novel, Set In A Fantasy Realm.
Join Our Main Character On Her Epic Journey Of Adventure.
You Take On The Role Of A Young Woman Who Is Just Starting Out In Life, And Is About To Find Herself In The Middle Of An Epic Adventure.
Take Control Of Her Fate. Is She A Dominant Ball-Busting, But Good Hearted Hero
Who Saves The Day. Or Is She A Submissive, Perverted, Evil Witch Who Only Wants Power.
The Choice Is Yours.​

Thread Updated: 2022-11-29
Release Date: 2020-09-24
Developer: AndroMax
Censored: No
Version: 0.2
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:

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Installation:

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Changelog:

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Developer Notes:

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​

 

[Meridian]

Why Would You Start Every Word With A Capital Letter?

 

[satoshi bae]

Fixed, tags added... moving to games section

 

[kodey and 302 others]

AndroMax I see that there's a lot of girls on the game, so do you plan to add a lesbian only route?

 

[memoefe]

Looks really nice!

 

[RichWere]

nice !

 

[Aegis Lily]

Developer Said:
Or maybe replace Good and Bad with Intrigue and Seduction.


Dont replace good and bad, add Intrigue and Seduction instead.

good and bad - we wanna know how corrupted or moralised she is.

Intrigue and Seduction - while also knowing how sexy and charming she is at the same time

(just my opinion, its your game)

 

[Gibberish666]

I don't really care much for this art style, but I'll give it a look. I'll be back later with my thoughts.

Also, based on the one screenshot, seems like the pregnancy tag needs to be added.

 

[FleetingNimbus]

I would give this a shot, but the Weird Capitalization Of Every Word Really Drove Me Insane Just By Looking At The Screenshots. If the dev is here, that would be something to fix. I mean, that's just not how ... writing works. It's extremely jarring.

 

[Rosen King]

Oh God, Even The Game's Dialogue Itself Is Written Like This. It's Driving Me Insane.

Not to mention the font does this weird thing where some of the letters are higher up than others. They're... vertically centered.

 

[AndroMax]

Why Would You Start Every Word With A Capital Letter?

I would give this a shot, but the Weird Capitalization Of Every Word Really Drove Me Insane Just By Looking At The Screenshots. If the dev is here, that would be something to fix. I mean, that's just not how ... writing works. It's extremely jarring.

Oh God, Even The Game's Dialogue Itself Is Written Like This. It's Driving Me Insane.

Not to mention the font does this weird thing where some of the letters are higher up than others. They're... vertically centered.

I will fix the capitalization of the dialogue, and may even change the font.

AndroMax I see that there's a lot of girls on the game, so do you plan to add a lesbian only route?

Yes. There will be a lesbian only route, among others.

 

[TheFonze]

Interesting. Will check out. Thanks.

 

[Gibberish666]

Right, so that was a quick prologue. It's pretty much a blue-balling tease at the moment, which can be expected this early on.

Thank you for agreeing to fix all the capitalized words. Why did you even do that in the first place?

Regarding your writing style:
In general, I think the dialogue is about what anyone can expect from a porn game. You won't be winning any gold stickers, but you won't be getting any "wtf is this shit?" comments.

I think writing the story with flashbacks is going to make the game more complicated than it needs to be. I can guess as to why you chose this direction, but it needs to be clear if we're seeing dreams, memories, or visions. All three are very different concepts. IMO, you would be able to cut your work in half if you started the game from the very beginning and went through events in sequence. But if you choose to continue working this way, I hope you've written a timeline for yourself.

Where I think you need the most work is thinking about how a character would think and behave in a given situation. Why didn't the mother try to leave? Take the daughter you still have and fucking run! Sticking around and having a conversation isn't something any half sensible person would do. And how does the slave master know Ella is the MC's sister, and why would he even care if women are just fuckholes and means of profit to him?

This kinda ties in with the outfit choice at the beginning. I get the players are creating the MC's personality, but there is also little to no premise for a corrupted mind when we're starting with an obvious blank slate. Why would she wear, or even own, a slutty outfit in the first place? I think a good way to address this would be to have a short questionnaire about her childhood before the prologue that adjusts starting stats. For example, did she climb trees or help mom do chores? This might give a +1 to independent behavior or submissive behavior.

Art:
I still don't care much for the art style, but I've seen worse. Nice touch with the blinking eyes. However, the mother is actually really ugly. Your character body shapes are out of proportion, the waist is definitely too wide, and I mean that from both an aesthetic and functional point. These are clearly peasant girls who cook, clean, and possibly farm. They're not nobles who sit on their asses all day. The fairy has it the worst: her head is too big and has virtually no hips.

And a little but important detail, your numbers in their stat boxes are off center.

Final Thoughts on v0.1
Keep it up.
Make a game plan if you don't have one. That means a regional map and a timeline of intended events for yourself.
You could have a game better than Good Girl Gone Bad if you do it right.

 

[AndroMax]

Thank you for agreeing to fix all the capitalized words. Why did you even do that in the first place?

I Thought Capitalizing The First Letter Would Make It Easier To Read The Font. But I hear the message and will change the dialogue capitalization.

Regarding your writing style:
In general, I think the dialogue is about what anyone can expect from a porn game. You won't be winning any gold stickers, but you won't be getting any "wtf is this shit?" comments.

I think writing the story with flashbacks is going to make the game more complicated than it needs to be. I can guess as to why you chose this direction, but it needs to be clear if we're seeing dreams, memories, or visions. All three are very different concepts. IMO, you would be able to cut your work in half if you started the game from the very beginning and went through events in sequence. But if you choose to continue working this way, I hope you've written a timeline for yourself.

Where I think you need the most work is thinking about how a character would think and behave in a given situation. Why didn't the mother try to leave? Take the daughter you still have and fucking run! Sticking around and having a conversation isn't something any half sensible person would do. And how does the slave master know Ella is the MC's sister, and why would he even care if women are just fuckholes and means of profit to him?

This kinda ties in with the outfit choice at the beginning. I get the players are creating the MC's personality, but there is also little to no premise for a corrupted mind when we're starting with an obvious blank slate. Why would she wear, or even own, a slutty outfit in the first place? I think a good way to address this would be to have a short questionnaire about her childhood before the prologue that adjusts starting stats. For example, did she climb trees or help mom do chores? This might give a +1 to independent behavior or submissive behavior.

The story is still being fleshed out, and is subject to revision. The prologue is where most of your characters core personality will be chosen. Ultimately when the game is done I think I will allow players to skip the prologue and instead just pick their own initial stats.


Thanks for your feedback.

 

[JCDenton]

Oh God i think i recognize that sitting Orc from screenshot

 

[fzdudesome]

Looks like it has a lot of potential! Looking forward to see where this goes. Is this a 1 person project?

 

[James009]

Nice game

 

[longjohngold]

I'm a big fan of the traced porn art style in general, and there's not a ton of games that use it so I really hope this one gets seen through to the end.

On the downsides, capitalising the start of every word just doesn't make for good reading, nor did I find the font one I liked... but those are both easily fixed.
Also I dunno how wearing a revealing outfit in defiance of her mother, the authority figure, earnt her a submissive point - that seems wrong.
A really minor thing but so far a bit too much of the game was flashbacks, I'm guessing that's just because it's a prologue and it's a personal thing but I don't really enjoy flashbacks (in everything, TV, movies, etc) because it sort of feels like it doesn't matter as you know the characters made it up to the point you've most recently seen and I want to see how things go from there.
Oh and I don't think the game's name really serves it that well, but again that's highly subjective.

On the upsides I thought it was great I got to customise my character at the start ... (but then it kinda felt like that card is a bit overplayed with remembering what skin colour slaves you'd seen in the past had and things ... I feel like it'd be most impactful if it was saved for customisation of stuff as you go through but not trivial things).
I'm interested in the world and how it can all turn out ... if the spiel in the OP is to be believed and I really can play her as some kinda mad, power-hungry, witch who fucks everyone over and just generally is a badass that'll be cool.

But all in all I'm excited about this one and will keep an eye on it.

 

[Qourk]

is it me or is this the exact same story as Claire's quest?, even the stats...

 

[pris]

every word starting with a capital letter does make most fonts easier to read for people with dyslexia and similar issues. maybe just make it optional?