After I die I don't want my family to find out about my porn

Walt Dee

Well-Known Member
Apr 4, 2017
1,008
759
A lot of you are going to get a good laugh at my expense, but I have an issue and I can think of no one else to ask for help finding a solution than fellow F95Zoners.

I've got a lot of porn. Terabytes of porn. Virtual novels, images, videos, you name it. Don't judge. You're likely not a lot unlike me.

Here's my problem: I'm in my early 60s. I'm not in good health. I'm almost certainly going to die of a heart attack or stroke within the next 10 years or so. It could, theoretically, be minutes after I hit Post. Who knows?

I live alone. I work remotely. One of my biggest irrational fears is that I'll die and no one will send the police or the apartment manager to do a welfare check on me for days. I say it's irrational because at that point I will have shuffled off this mortal coil, and I won't exist to care any longer.

There used to be the concept of a splooge brother; A close friend who, on learning of your death, quickly gets into your home and carts off the stash of porn so the family never finds it. You laugh, but when I die, I won't see it coming, it'll just happen one day, and my close family will start cataloging my belongings to give away or sell out of my 'estate,' such as it will be.

So, here's my question: Instead of just bleaching my hard drive of embarrassing evidence now, while I'm alive and lucid if there a way to protect a LOT of porn so that it is unseeable, or preferably unable to even learn the existence of? I use Windows 10 and macOS, primarily, although I do occasionally look at porn on an iPhone that I'd like to throw out the window most days.

I really want something more secure than burying it in C:\Users\Private\Documents\2021\Uninteresting documents\No, seriously, there is nothing to be found in this folder, so just delete it and be done with it\

Can anyone advise?
 

DanThaMan

Engaged Member
Jun 25, 2017
3,545
7,615
But would it really matter if they see it? It's only porn.. but that's just my opinion.
 

Grabriel-San

Member
Nov 24, 2019
187
137
I think if you make a folder in windows then right click it - properties and go to the security tab you can modify it there.
Then playing around with the permissions might work.
You may wanna test it out to see if the folder can or cannot be accessed when used on another pc.
 

F4C430

Active Member
Dec 4, 2018
650
745
How about an emergency login that when activated runs a script that deletes specified directories?
 
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whippetmaster

Active Member
Oct 4, 2018
804
1,138
Naw.. the best way is to put it in an encrypted folder and set windows to reboot every day at a certain time. The reason for that is a hypothetical scenario: You've unlocked the folder and are viewing porn and browsing. You hit "Post" and look for a video to fap to but that fap is the final one. As long as you're logged into the encrypted folder, anyone can see it. But if your computer has decided to reboot, it has to log you out to do so. Which means that if your computer rebooted, they will need to know the password and location of the folder. You can set a task on windows to force a logout and reboot every day (usually while you're asleep). Or even a shutdown. That way, there is a very, very narrow window of time that you're logged in and it's viewable. I know bitlocker comes with windows 10 pro but I don't know how it works but it's something you can check out.
 

AdventAnyx

Active Member
Game Developer
Feb 2, 2020
740
2,920
Do you think it would devastate them to know that, or change their life significantly?
They'd probably just think that "Gramps became weird after he got old. At least he didn't have a graveyard full of his "love interests". Porn is nothing compared to some shit people could be hiding for years. Especially in the past 10-20 years of normalization, memes, and such, in my opinion.
 

Omae wa shinda

Well-Known Member
May 25, 2020
1,553
2,691
Make it like a treasure hunt for your grandson and great grandson. Store all your lewds into the pendrives and external harddrives with a legacy notice and some words for your grand grand.

Then just lay them away around in your relative's houses secretly and unnoticedly. Scratch that bad idea ,

Just birthday presents? Nope

Bury them into ground. Assuming you don't want to see them anymore but still want keep to them.

Postman or physically mailing with anonymously to your relatives or your friends? Too much trouble i guess....

Make a private blog somewhere in internet and then store all your shit in there under a alias.
Honestly though i just think 3 years of inactive might kill the account or maybe some sites owners won't appreciate that you put adult contents there. You know... you can just pack them into .rar and just put here. This is still a blog site, right? Then just wipe them porn off once you "done".

Get a encrypted permanent site where only you can login. Make your own site basically.

Upload them in Xvideo or similar porn site under a alias although could get you "possibly" ban to copyright or other issues. "Possibly" only , not "certainty".

(Do everything porn related to Internet under incognito mode )
Can't say anything if you masturbated yourself to death.
 
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Jonathan Y

Member
Dec 1, 2020
433
1,155
I mean I have like 5 extrernal hardrives, each over 1,5 tb of memory, all of them packed to the brim, not just games too, videos too, entire series, pics, gifts etc. Shit scavenged all over the internet
If I were you I'd want to pass them down tho, shit took a long time to collect, It'd bee a real shame to delete, or not share.
 
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Jonathan Y

Member
Dec 1, 2020
433
1,155
Gotta preserve your legacy, man.

Eulogy.
"Granpa was a good man. He would always send postcards on the our birthdays. He loved taking care of the neighborhood cats. He also had terabytes of incest loli porn. We will miss him dearly."
Not sure if it helps. But I would love to have a grandpa like you xD
 

Icarus Media

F95 Comedian
Donor
Game Developer
Jun 19, 2019
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Something similiar to this actually happened in real life and there is still a vid floating around with it on. An older retired gentleman, completely naked, using a webcam on a gay porn chat site when he had a heart attack, it was all recorded up to the point the granddaughter found him dead in his chair with the webcam still running.

I can understand the worry to be honest.
 

Omae wa shinda

Well-Known Member
May 25, 2020
1,553
2,691
Something similiar to this actually happened in real life and there is still a vid floating around with it on. An older retired gentleman, completely naked, using a webcam on a gay porn chat site when he had a heart attack, it was all recorded up to the point the granddaughter found him dead in his chair with the webcam still running.

I can understand the worry to be honest.
On camera? Oh boy, there sure to be a lot to "clean up". He is quite unlucky man...
 

Icarus Media

F95 Comedian
Donor
Game Developer
Jun 19, 2019
8,454
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On camera? Oh boy, there sure to be a lot to "clean up". He is quite unlucky man...


Just googled it and oh shit...it was his wife not his granddaughter who found him. Oh that's gotta be a double whammy for her considering she didn't know...Oof!
 

Niv-Mizzet the Firemind

Active Member
Mar 15, 2020
573
1,119
The only reasonable option imho would be to encrypt the drive(s) containing the porn.

On another note, when my father died, my mother and sister tasked me with finding any photos and crap like that. I suspected I would find some porn, but the sheer amount of it would put pornhub to shame. And of course almost all of it was far from vanilla. I deleted it, found some old digitised photos, forgot about it and obviously have said nothing to close relatives. Same story with a friend of mine.

My point is, even if something happens to you (*knocks on wood*) only the "pc guy" of the family will see it, and they'll probably have the decency to delete it and never mention it.