VN Ren'Py Alice: A Hard Life [Ep1 v1.5] [Caylake]

3.80 star(s) 17 Votes

Malika1234

Well-Known Member
Sep 27, 2021
1,121
1,512
my god! this game is such a hot tease with lesbian route! lol Love Lily's character also love the detail of her wearing her wedding ring.... i also think shes up to no good but we'll see where to story goes.

Also, there are some errors with girls being referred to as he/him instead of she/her. Other than that... characters are beautiful and i love this VN so far!
 

Caylake

Newbie
Game Developer
Jul 31, 2019
51
521
Nice start with over 2200 lines! But needs proofreading, lots of errors (she/he, punctuation...). And it's not possible to go back (mousewheel).
Thanks for your feedback, I plan to make a lot of changes and fixes in the next update.
 

TomUK

Engaged Member
Sep 28, 2021
2,873
2,134
OK, I guess the Dev isn't a natural English speaker, but can you get your gender pronouns right, female character keep getting called 'him' and male characters 'her'. It's every time as well, not just one or two times.
 

2MoshPit

Member
Sep 22, 2021
256
276
Is it just me, or does the counter for slut / corruption (little fire-icon next to heart-icon) not work properly? I mean: I can also been wrong with my opinion - I just have to ask.

best regards
 

Trasher2018

Engaged Member
Aug 21, 2018
2,169
3,534
Uff. The writing struggles hard with the English language. One of the most annoying problems are the misused personal pronouns. That makes it hard to follow at time - right at the start when the neighbors talk about their son, but refer to him as a she.

The whole premise is quite stupid ... so we are a secret agent that dont get enough funding to at least survive until the first paycheck? ... Rly? Why? Just to allow the generic old dude to perv about us or to ask her new colleagues for money on first sight ... and setup stupid blackmail - I mean ... she is an "secret agent" - but workplace harassment is not that hard to complain about if a dude is that dumb to try that on the first day with the new teacher? o_O PS: Oh she knows that there is corruption and wants to be close to the principal ... why doesnt the game give us this information before we have to make choice how we interact with him? Why do we get only at the next day when we meet the other agent? ...

She never met any of her colleagues before her first day? And she doesn't even know what class she is teaching?

Also there are several continuity errors. e.g. Why is the name of the son of Lily and Darell Reiter Liam Glory? o_O

In general the interactions feel very unnatural ... "Hey, you are good friends?" "Cool cool - do you use or sell drugs?" ... yeah very realistic conversation starter for a young teacher with a student ... even without the risk to be accused of racial bias, because she aks her only black student. - It whould be ok the other day, after she had that talk with Liam, but in this order? ... nope. not working.

Same with Lili and Alica during her running .. "Hey, I just want to tell you that I fuck my boss *wink wink*" "Nice, but if you lose you job because of that call me" ... says the teacher that is happy that Lily wants to help her to find a 2nd job ... sure. "Oh and sex with my husband is good" - "So it does not make you happy" "Yeah, but I love him" "But he can drive other woman crazy with his big dick" ... what? o_O

So many believable first time conversations ...


The renders look good so far. Its a solid start, but there is a lot that should be adjusted and fixed - most of it is "just" the writing and therefore easier to fix than bad renders.
Over all the game needs a proper translation and some polishing in the writing as I pointed out.
 

Caylake

Newbie
Game Developer
Jul 31, 2019
51
521
OK, I guess the Dev isn't a natural English speaker, but can you get your gender pronouns right, female character keep getting called 'him' and male characters 'her'. It's every time as well, not just one or two times.
I understand you, I will avoid such mistakes in the next update.
 

fantom2u

Newbie
Mar 14, 2018
64
132
Like what I've seen so far, but some of the English could be cleaned up, like reversing gender pronouns and then the classic honorific mistake like "Mrs." White when it should be Miss White (because she is not married); even so, the other teachers are addressed by an honorific with their first name, while Helena White is addressed as Mrs. White. The story is not original, but the plot is intriguing and I see great potential. And the renders are quite good. I'm sure the English problems are due to the dev not being a native speaker, but the writing overall is pretty good. Good luck, dev, I'll be keeping track of this one. ;)
 
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wannaka99

Member
Apr 4, 2019
138
155
Cool game, it will be good if you add a rollback feature in the future you know when you scroll your mouse wheel and it goes back to previous image/choice incase you accidentally miss it, but no biggie.
 

AnyName'llDo

Active Member
Feb 12, 2018
535
602
Minor gripe: the pronouns are often wrong. It makes me guess that it was translated from a language where pronouns are gender neutral, or at least the rules are different.

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The main character is cute. The story premise is fine. I could see this becoming something worth playing. At the moment, though, it could use improvement.
 

88Michele88

Bloodborn Vampire
Game Developer
Apr 22, 2018
2,891
3,058
Well, we got first choise in the office that we refuced to principal offer but later we are forced to touch a dick the landlord? the fuck so it forced why she don't thret him by sending him to jail? Are yuou for real? I toguth the we are the one who decide to give ito tempation no bee forced by story talling. Handjob is forced one. for fuck sake make it fucking optional.
 
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Orphanus

Well-Known Member
Oct 25, 2019
1,219
1,952
Well, we got first choise in the office that we refuced to principal offer but later we are forced to touch a dick the landlord? the fuck so it forced why she don't thret him by sending him to jail? Are yuou for real? I toguth the we are the one who decide to give ito tempation no bee forced by story talling. Handjob is forced one. for fuck sake make it fucking optional.
Chill, the Dev immediately replied to the question of this having a lesbian-only path by saying it's not possible at the current moment, but they'll consider it. I want that no less than you & agree the game is unplayable until then (if it ever happens) but the chances for that likely don't increase with getting this aggressive about it. Just give things some time, there are many people who asked for it so it's obvious to the Dev there is an audience for such an addition to the game, all we can do is hope that is enough of a reason to work on it. :)
 
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3.80 star(s) 17 Votes