VN Ren'Py Alice's Descent [Ch.2 v1.2] [Lumenis]

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Discussion Reviews (1)
CutieLvr

CutieLvr

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Jun 3, 2020
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Lumenis said:
View attachment 5345000

Overview:
Alice is a married woman who has reached the limit of frustration and emptiness in her relationship.
Following the humiliating failure of her husband, Marcos, Alice is driven to seek release and comfort.
The game is a moral descent that forces her to make a definitive choice: pursue the forbidden relief and desire within her home, or launch herself into the world to seek external satisfaction and break the cycle of frustration. Her decision seals their destiny.​

Thread Updated: 2025-10-15
Release Date: 2025-10-15
Developer: Lumenis -
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Censored: No
Version: Chapter 1 - 1.0
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English, Portuguese
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Lumenis, loving your story. Alice and daughter are real cuties and I love cuties. I am also into stats and I hope you can post stats on Alice and her daughter's stats for sex acts and corruption, like in a diary for phone are just a log. Dying to see how far we can help them both fall. Best of luck.
 
Bill Temple

Bill Temple

Active Member
May 20, 2021
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Lumenis said:
Thank you, I am trying to find how to solve this
Click to expand...
I assumed he'd been taking monster bong rips before that scene. If that wasn't what you were intending, then normal white eyes might work better. I'd also suggest you look into making him less gray. In some scenes, he doesn't look pale or pasty, just gray. It's especially noticeable when he's massaging his sister. She has a normal skin tone, but he looks almost undead. Since he gets as much protagonist focus as the title character and the last choice of this release makes it clear that he's going to be getting a lot of screen time going forward, this probably needs to be resolved quickly.

Next, and this may be just my **personal issue**, but I also found the double asterisk thing in just about every line to be very distracting. It didn't add anything to my reading of the dialogue, but it did make me re-read a lot in order to decode what the asterisks were meant to communicate to the reader. (I didn't figure it out)

There were a few logical issues, or maybe translation issues, that stood out to me:
  • Alice thinks about how it's nice her daughter should still be asleep, giving Alice a few hours of **peace and quiet**. She then immediately goes into her daughter's room.
  • This one may be a cultural difference, or maybe you were attempting to portray the daughter as slightly delusional or narcissistic, or maybe it's a CG issue. I'm not sure, but unprompted and unrelated to the prior conversation, the daughter declares herself to be looking hot when at the same time she has a bit more tummy bulge than a typical woman would find hot about themself. Most women (and a lot of men) I know are self-conscious about even minimal paunchiness, and would have a hard time proudly declaring, out of the blue, how hot they look with a belly. I'm not saying her chubbiness is gross or unattractive, as I can enjoy some softness around the midsections of women. However, I am saying it seems odd to me that she feels boldly (and randomly) proud of her appearance in that moment in the VN.
  • A tiny thing I noticed was the husband came home from work complaining about the "stinky office", while he's dressed in worn and dirty clothes that imply construction or other manual labor. While it's possible he was doing construction in an office or that his employer allows him to wear dirty and torn clothes to the office, it caused me to stop and think about that at a moment that I think you wanted the emphasis to be on the relationship dynamics of the husband and wife, not on the incongruity of his clothing with office work.
I'm also wondering what the split is going to be like on the two paths? Are you expecting to keep a balance between the Son path and the Others path? Or do you anticipate the Son will get more of the focus? I ask, because playing even a couple of these Mother/Son stories has exhausted what little patience I had for the genre, especially when the "eighteen" year old son is a short king. I know I'll get some angry reactions for expressing an opinion contrary to Oedipal Army, but I'd rather see Alice get some action with grown ups than yet another iteration of a mom bouncing on her special lil' guy's stupidly giant dick.
 
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Lumenis

Lumenis

Formerly 'GuilhermeLobr'
Game Developer
May 30, 2021
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Bill Temple said:
I assumed he'd been taking monster bong rips before that scene. If that wasn't what you were intending, then normal white eyes might work better. I'd also suggest you look into making him less gray. In some scenes, he doesn't look pale or pasty, just gray. It's especially noticeable when he's massaging his sister. She has a normal skin tone, but he looks almost undead. Since he gets as much protagonist focus as the title character and the last choice of this release makes it clear that he's going to be getting a lot of screen time going forward, this probably needs to be resolved quickly.

Next, and this may be just my **personal issue**, but I also found the double asterisk thing in just about every line to be very distracting. It didn't add anything to my reading of the dialogue, but it did make me re-read a lot in order to decode what the asterisks were meant to communicate to the reader. (I didn't figure it out)

There were a few logical issues, or maybe translation issues, that stood out to me:
  • Alice thinks about how it's nice her daughter should still be asleep, giving Alice a few hours of **peace and quiet**. She then immediately goes into her daughter's room.
  • This one may be a cultural difference, or maybe you were attempting to portray the daughter as slightly delusional or narcissistic, or maybe it's a CG issue. I'm not sure, but unprompted and unrelated to the prior conversation, the daughter declares herself to be looking hot when at the same time she has a bit more tummy bulge than a typical woman would find hot about themself. Most women (and a lot of men) I know are self-conscious about even minimal paunchiness, and would have a hard time proudly declaring, out of the blue, how hot they look with a belly. I'm not saying her chubbiness is gross or unattractive, as I can enjoy some softness around the midsections of women. However, I am saying it seems odd to me that she feels boldly (and randomly) proud of her appearance in that moment in the VN.
  • A tiny thing I noticed was the husband came home from work complaining about the "stinky office", while he's dressed in worn and dirty clothes that imply construction or other manual labor. While it's possible he was doing construction in an office or that his employer allows him to wear dirty and torn clothes to the office, it caused me to stop and think about that at a moment that I think you wanted the emphasis to be on the relationship dynamics of the husband and wife, not on the incongruity of his clothing with office work.
I'm also wondering what the split is going to be like on the two paths? Are you expecting to keep a balance between the Son path and the Others path? Or do you anticipate the Son will get more of the focus? I ask, because playing even a couple of these Mother/Son stories has exhausted what little patience I had for the genre, especially when the "eighteen" year old son is a short king. I know I'll get some angry reactions for expressing an opinion contrary to Oedipal Army, but I'd rather see Alice get some action with grown ups than yet another iteration of a mom bouncing on her special lil' guy's stupidly giant dick.
Click to expand...
Bill Temple said:
I assumed he'd been taking monster bong rips before that scene. If that wasn't what you were intending, then normal white eyes might work better. I'd also suggest you look into making him less gray. In some scenes, he doesn't look pale or pasty, just gray. It's especially noticeable when he's massaging his sister. She has a normal skin tone, but he looks almost undead. Since he gets as much protagonist focus as the title character and the last choice of this release makes it clear that he's going to be getting a lot of screen time going forward, this probably needs to be resolved quickly.

Next, and this may be just my **personal issue**, but I also found the double asterisk thing in just about every line to be very distracting. It didn't add anything to my reading of the dialogue, but it did make me re-read a lot in order to decode what the asterisks were meant to communicate to the reader. (I didn't figure it out)

There were a few logical issues, or maybe translation issues, that stood out to me:
  • Alice thinks about how it's nice her daughter should still be asleep, giving Alice a few hours of **peace and quiet**. She then immediately goes into her daughter's room.
  • This one may be a cultural difference, or maybe you were attempting to portray the daughter as slightly delusional or narcissistic, or maybe it's a CG issue. I'm not sure, but unprompted and unrelated to the prior conversation, the daughter declares herself to be looking hot when at the same time she has a bit more tummy bulge than a typical woman would find hot about themself. Most women (and a lot of men) I know are self-conscious about even minimal paunchiness, and would have a hard time proudly declaring, out of the blue, how hot they look with a belly. I'm not saying her chubbiness is gross or unattractive, as I can enjoy some softness around the midsections of women. However, I am saying it seems odd to me that she feels boldly (and randomly) proud of her appearance in that moment in the VN.
  • A tiny thing I noticed was the husband came home from work complaining about the "stinky office", while he's dressed in worn and dirty clothes that imply construction or other manual labor. While it's possible he was doing construction in an office or that his employer allows him to wear dirty and torn clothes to the office, it caused me to stop and think about that at a moment that I think you wanted the emphasis to be on the relationship dynamics of the husband and wife, not on the incongruity of his clothing with office work.
I'm also wondering what the split is going to be like on the two paths? Are you expecting to keep a balance between the Son path and the Others path? Or do you anticipate the Son will get more of the focus? I ask, because playing even a couple of these Mother/Son stories has exhausted what little patience I had for the genre, especially when the "eighteen" year old son is a short king. I know I'll get some angry reactions for expressing an opinion contrary to Oedipal Army, but I'd rather see Alice get some action with grown ups than yet another iteration of a mom bouncing on her special lil' guy's stupidly giant dick.
Click to expand...




Thank you so much for the detailed feedback. This is incredibly useful and points out specific areas we need to clarify for the international audience. Your thoughts on the narrative structure and character visual presentation are exactly what we need to improve the experience for Chapter 2.

Here is a breakdown of our current plans and fixes based on your points:



. Visual & Rendering Issues (Lens's Appearance)


  • Lens's Skin Tone ("Undead Gray"): You are absolutely right. The difference in skin tone between Lens and Natasha is caused by an issue in our lighting setup for the Cycles render. When we optimized the SSS (Subsurface Scattering) to remove the grain/noise, Lens's pale skin tone became flat and "gray." This is a rendering error, not an intended aesthetic. We will resolve this immediately by adjusting his material to give his pale skin more life and warmth, especially in the comparison scenes.
  • Lens's Eyes: We appreciate the insight on the "monster bong rips" assumption! Lens is intended to be pasty/sleep-deprived due to his internal conflict and desire, but the black/red look in the viewport was a technical error (VRAM/texture fail) that we thought was fixed. We will ensure his eyes are rendered with a normal, slightly tired white/red tint in the final builds.
Dialogue and Narrative Logic


  • Alice’s Immediate Entry to Natasha’s Room: You nailed a narrative flaw there. The dialogue should reflect that Alice attempted to have peace before a disturbance pulled her in, or that she hesitated. We will adjust the dialogue flow to clarify that she was interrupted, or that she hesitated before reluctantly seeking out Natasha.
  • Natasha's "Hot" Comment and Body Type: This is a key insight into cultural and character portrayal differences. You are correct; the scene intends to portray Natasha's slight delusion/narcissism, which is part of her Femdom personality. She declares herself "hot" despite a societal standard of a flat stomach, as a way of expressing her self-confidence and ownership of her body. We will add a line of thought (NT) to emphasize that she embraces her softness, clarifying that this confidence is part of her character's internal view, not a logical self-assessment.
  • Marcos’s Clothing vs. Dialogue Incongruity: This is a crucial note. The intention was to show Marcos’s manual labor as a source of stress. However, if the dialogue says "stinky office" and the image shows manual labor attire, it creates confusion. We will change Marcos's dialogue to complain about a "stinky worksite" or "traffic from the job site" to ensure his clothing (which implies manual labor) matches his complaints, keeping the focus on relationship stress.


3. Reading Experience (The Double Asterisk)

  • Double Asterisks (): Thank you for the direct feedback. The double asterisks were used to indicate strong emphasis/bolding or subtle double entendre/sexual coding in the dialogue, but if they are distracting and unclear, they are failing their purpose. We will review and minimize their use, replacing them with italics or standard bolding where appropriate for better flow and clarity.


4. Route Focus and Genre (The "Oedipal Army" Question)


  • Route Split and Focus: This is where transparency is key. The game is balanced. Both the Incest Route (AVOIDABLE) (Lens) and the NTR Route (AVOIDABLE) (Others/External Affairs) will receive equal screen time (50/50).
  • Our goal is not merely to service the "Oedipal Army," but to explore Alice's full moral descent, which includes the extreme satisfaction she seeks outside the family. The NTR Route is a complete, explicit storyline where you will see Alice get the "action with grown-ups" and escalate her life with outside partners.
  • The genre requires the exploration of the taboos; your patience will be rewarded by the depth and explicit detail dedicated to the non-Incest path as well.
 
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Sleepy_Cat_Old_and_Fat

Sleepy_Cat_Old_and_Fat

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Feb 7, 2025
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wildride69 said:
Are you the type that lives vicariously through an imaginary adult themed MC, to escape from real life? Man that sad, seek help the world outside is a wonderful place to be. ;)
Click to expand...
When you talk to your reflection in the mirror, please, dude, don't call him by my name, it's a little weird...
Your hatred of straight men who live successfully and happily and are used to receiving love and respect from women is completely understandable, but dude, believe me, it doesn't solve your problems...
Hate is the wrong way to go. Find someth good in your heart and try to keep it.(y)
 
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Fatquack

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Oct 1, 2018
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The Linux version is not working as provided.:
"Alice's Descent-Chapter1-Linux/lib/py3-linux-x86_64/Alice's Descent not found."
You have to rename Alice's Descent-Chapter1-Linux/lib/py3-linux-x86_64/Gui for it to work and make it executable.
 
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2.00 star(s) 1 Vote