VN Ren'Py Angel in L.A. Vol. 1 [v0.6.4 Rework] [DigiurgeCreations]

4.00 star(s) 8 Votes

Joe Steel

Engaged Member
Jan 10, 2018
2,345
3,121
I've only played through 0.2, and already I am having trouble being motivated to go on. The MC is attractive enough, but the huge tits are an issue because the graphics engiine doesn't have any physics, so all of the clothing looks painted on, and this creates a problem with the big tits because her clothing sticks to the underside of the boobs like it was glued there. Not sure this is possible to fix, so that's just the first step into uncanny valley.

The second step, an even bigger issue, is the lumpy look of the men in the game. This is uncanny because they look almost human, but not quite. In games that are cartoony, obviously unrealistic looks fit. In games striving to be realistic, though, unrealism stands out.

With few exceptions, characters don't quite behave like real people, either. The brother that refuses to close the bathroom door because it's his house and he doesn't think pissing is a private function? The hostile people in a private school who seem determined to piss off the students on whom their livelihood depends? The dad who doesn't tell his former wife that he got remarried (and neither do his sons)? These things strain the suspension of disbelief past the breaking point for me.

Now, the graphical stuff can be blamed on learning how to operate the graphical engine, and can be forgiven, to a large extent, of the story is well-written. But the story isn't well-written. It seems contrived to a degree that makes it difficult to stay engaged. There are too many WTF? moments where the player has to try to reconcile what the characters are doing with the reader's own understanding of how the world really works and people really behave.

If the author(s) want to be ambitious (and improve the storytelling), consider not starting the story at the beginning. The beginning is weak, because we don't know anything about the situation and the main character, so can't identify with the action. Consider starting with her arriving at the school for her first day, and remembering things in flashback as she progresses through the first day. Have her be embarrassed to see that everyone is in longer skirts and then have a flashback to explain why she is in a short one. Have her get hit on and remember the bus stop incident. Have her new girl friend ask about family and have Angel remember the awkward introductions. Etc. Start strong.

I'd also recommend sticking with Angel's POV. The scene where the vice-principal meets with the math teacher breaks the fourth wall - Angel couldn't know about it. Have the story SHOW that the meeting happened via its consequences, rather than just cutting to a scene where we see stuff Angel doesn't. Stories need to have characters we can identify with and cutting between POVs undercuts this.

The story has potential and the "three routes" system seems doable in a reasonable amount of time, so I wish the devs well, but this story so far seems more like a first draft outline of a story, before adding the sophisticated elements and rearranging events to accommodate later events, than something that has had some polish added.

All just IMHO, of course, so take it for what it is worth to you.
 

Lamruil951

New Member
Mar 1, 2018
6
36
I enjoyed playing this so far. I see potential for sure. There are about 20 games on here I follow. I support some on Patreon but not all of them. Would cost too much. This is one of the ones I decided to add to my list. Ill try to get on Patreon to support it soon.
 

ILCjr

Active Member
Dec 27, 2018
965
996
This game has potential, not really sure it is for me, because of some writing and story direction. I may come back in the future.
 

Vrijgeest

Engaged Member
Jun 16, 2019
3,332
3,170
Dont like the story. Too much American aggro. Also the vocabulary is very limited. The graphics dont help. The girl is a physically impossiblity and I agree with comments on her clothes but that is a major problem in many stories. There are plenty tutorials regarding this. The men look terrible. The whole thing does not work for me. I might give it a look later but for now it goes into the reject file.
 
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DigiurgeCreations

Member
Game Developer
Jun 20, 2019
247
1,057
I've only played through 0.2, and already I am having trouble being motivated to go on. The MC is attractive enough, but the huge tits are an issue because the graphics engiine doesn't have any physics, so all of the clothing looks painted on, and this creates a problem with the big tits because her clothing sticks to the underside of the boobs like it was glued there. Not sure this is possible to fix, so that's just the first step into uncanny valley.
From the OP...
Developer Notes:
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Too much American aggro
What does that even mean?
Compressed version please
If I have time.
 

BruceLee73

Member
Apr 22, 2018
373
536
From the OP...
Developer Notes:

....

What does that even mean?

If I have time.
I d say there was a lot of constructive criticism there. which means people tried and got hooked enough to care.
Including me. I think this could be a very very good thing. Yet I m having the same issue(s) as many others.
bigger breasts on a fine, toned body -why not. but the current physic is by far too much (for me).
I d also agree on the WTF moments, when you really wonder how certain decisions could EVER happen, it simply breaks the feeling of being part of the story.
But... The Dev is the Boss. He can do whatever he likes and lets face it - devs mostly make the games they d like to play themselves. So if the Dev is into unrealistic dolls and doesnt care too much about realistic behavior its very much his decision to follow his preferences.
Also there sometimes are moments when you cant bring the loop to work in a "realistic" way. Its lewd games we are talking about, not the Cannes-festival material.

now the "what does that even mean" means the rest of the world sees the US in a certain way. part of it is that people over there are quite aggressive (and competetive), far beyond any reasonable point. And I agree ;)
So in the quoted comment it says "NPCs ingame act like they are unreasonable and hyper aggressive, even beyond the cliche of americans being just that"

So sum it up: great potential and good elements there, but balloon tits on such a young toned body seems weird to a lot of people and too many strange decisions make most players feel just that - strange. and out of story.
In any way the dev should continue. I cant wait to see where this is going - because of its potential. Good Luck
 
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Vrijgeest

Engaged Member
Jun 16, 2019
3,332
3,170
American Aggro is a term for the art(!) of American interaction with each other that readily appears in so many American films and tv series. It is unfortunately being accepted by non-English speakers as the norm by which English speakers communicate with each other. This is especially true of the many Engrish speakers here. The word "fuck" for instance is now accepted as normal conversation in America along with a few other choice words that make up the average American's vocabulary. This is not true of the vast majority of English English speakers. This is also not true of the level of English taught in my country and I believe many other European countries.
With the lack of vocabulary Americans appear to be very aggressive in conversation hence American Aggro.
 

Ignazzio

Engaged Member
Donor
May 8, 2017
2,892
3,301
I must say I'm quite surprised with this one. I've checked 1st version quite some time ago and now I checked this one and progress is obvious. Choices are there even tho not all that many yet, story is silly but it's something that's a norm in these games and it's not really a flaw, writing is decent enough and MC looks fine. Ofc the most obvious thing that stands out is how inconsistent renders are once being decent once quite bad but dev is clearly improving and with all these Honey Select games it's acceptable. Seems like it have more potential than I initially though. Keep it up dev.
 
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Belnick

Engaged Member
Sep 3, 2018
2,646
1,266
so 2.2 is official and 4.1 is a leak? does that mean 4.1 was the intended next official? or 4.1 is 2-3 updates away for official?
asking cus no real progression in sex, a lot more build up, is this game gonna end when she have sex? meaning game build and build until she finally does it and then the end?
 

MrPloppy

Newbie
Jun 24, 2017
32
32
Dont like the story. Too much American aggro. Also the vocabulary is very limited. The graphics dont help. The girl is a physically impossiblity and I agree with comments on her clothes but that is a major problem in many stories. There are plenty tutorials regarding this. The men look terrible. The whole thing does not work for me. I might give it a look later but for now it goes into the reject file.
I have to disagree. The dev is American and The game is set in LA so obviously the writing is Americanised. The dialogue actually sounds like teenagers would talk to each other. Why should it be complex when the MC is an 18 year old?
As has already been explained the Dev has improved and continues to improve the MCs look. The balloon tits are gone and now she just has an exceptional body. Think Lindsey Pelas who is also 5ft 3. Future versions are being done in Iray so quality will only get better. The potential is huge on this game!
 

disimulated

Active Member
Jun 10, 2018
837
731
so 2.2 is official and 4.1 is a leak? does that mean 4.1 was the intended next official? or 4.1 is 2-3 updates away for official?
asking cus no real progression in sex, a lot more build up, is this game gonna end when she have sex? meaning game build and build until she finally does it and then the end?
0.1.1 -> 0.2 -> 0.3.1 -> 0.4.1.

The current public release is 0.2 (two months behind)
Tier 1 patrons are at 0.3.1 (one month behind)
Higher tier patrons have 0.4.1

So 0.4.1 is an official release, but it is a leak as it is still supposed to be patrons-only.
 

DigiurgeCreations

Member
Game Developer
Jun 20, 2019
247
1,057
So sum it up: great potential and good elements there, but balloon tits on such a young toned body seems weird to a lot of people and too many strange decisions make most players feel just that - strange. and out of story.
In any way the dev should continue. I cant wait to see where this is going - because of its potential. Good Luck
Thank you! Btw...The ballon tits are getting re-worked in older versions and are no longer on the figure in newer versions.

I must say I'm quite surprised with this one. I've checked 1st version quite some time ago and now I checked this one and progress is obvious. Choices are there even tho not all that many yet, story is silly but it's something that's a norm in these games and it's not really a flaw, writing is decent enough and MC looks fine. Ofc the most obvious thing that stands out is how inconsistent renders are once being decent once quite bad but dev is clearly improving and with all these Honey Select games it's acceptable. Seems like it have more potential than I initially though. Keep it up dev.
Thank you for pointing out something that, I think, should be very obvious: "story is silly but it's something that's a norm in these games and it's not really a flaw..."

So in other words: In lewd games, when you are short on time (as a dev), you need to "GET TO THE POINT", and getting to the point calls for "silly" situations, hence a silly story.

So, thanks for pointing that out. (y)

so 2.2 is official and 4.1 is a leak? does that mean 4.1 was the intended next official? or 4.1 is 2-3 updates away for official?
asking cus no real progression in sex, a lot more build up, is this game gonna end when she have sex? meaning game build and build until she finally does it and then the end?
The leak started with a "Patron" who is an affiliate or employee of game website(s) that like to post games without developers permission. Then, a member of this forum decided it was a good idea to post the leaked version of the game in this thread. On top of that, he even decided to respond as to where he got the leaked version from.

To make matters even worse, a MOD came along and edited my OP with the leaked version of the game as a download. The MOD was generous enough to put "n/a" on the update log under the leaked version of the game. So nice! Anways...

This is a slow corruption game. MC will not be having sex early on in the game (but other characters will as the story progresses) as it is currently based in a Daily update cycle, meaning every update = 1 day in the life of the MC. That trend however will not continue the entire game. As enough time goes on, there will be some moments in the game where the story will allow a "fast forward" in time, bringing us to a plot point that continues the story where it left off. This formula will allow the MC time to be corrupted in a real sense, while allowing the player (you) enough realism to believe she has been corrupted enough to allow someone to have sex with her. But I repeat, I don't plan on having the MC engage in sex early in the games development, as I mentioned, this IS a slow corruption game.

I have to disagree. The dev is American and The game is set in LA so obviously the writing is Americanised. The dialogue actually sounds like teenagers would talk to each other. Why should it be complex when the MC is an 18 year old?
As has already been explained the Dev has improved and continues to improve the MCs look. The balloon tits are gone and now she just has an exceptional body. Think Lindsey Pelas who is also 5ft 3. Future versions are being done in Iray so quality will only get better. The potential is huge on this game!
Very well said. Thank you!
 

Deleted member 62788

Well-Known Member
Jun 10, 2017
1,412
730
American Aggro is a term for the art(!) of American interaction with each other that readily appears in so many American films and tv series. It is unfortunately being accepted by non-English speakers as the norm by which English speakers communicate with each other. This is especially true of the many Engrish speakers here. The word "fuck" for instance is now accepted as normal conversation in America along with a few other choice words that make up the average American's vocabulary. This is not true of the vast majority of English English speakers. This is also not true of the level of English taught in my country and I believe many other European countries.
With the lack of vocabulary Americans appear to be very aggressive in conversation hence American Aggro.
No one swears more in slang conversations that British and Australian folk. American's are just learning to swear lots more, so we can let them catch up to us.

On topic, is the game worth downloading in terms of content available?
 

Nelythia

Active Member
Donor
Oct 11, 2018
587
981
To make matters even worse, a MOD came along and edited my OP with the leaked version of the game as a download.
To be fair, you are aware of what this website is right?
It's also a place where you should appreciate your game being posted because it can be seen by literally thousands of members and it has a higher chance of you getting more people interested in supporting your Patreon compared to when you stay on Patreon and do light advertisement on NSFW Subreddits etc.

Of course I am not saying your game doesn't deserve support and should just be downloaded for free here.
But after all you got to appreciate F95Zone for what it is and offers.

Even for Developers, as you can see some of the bigger names in this scene are actively reading and commenting on this site themself, because there will always be a mix of actual supporters between the majority of pirates reading their game threads as well. And where else would they be able to talk about it? Not on Patreon comment section for sure.
 

DigiurgeCreations

Member
Game Developer
Jun 20, 2019
247
1,057
To be fair, you are aware of what this website is right?
It's also a place where you should appreciate your game being posted because it can be seen by literally thousands of members and it has a higher chance of you getting more people interested in supporting your Patreon compared to when you stay on Patreon and do light advertisement on NSFW Subreddits etc.

Of course I am not saying your game doesn't deserve support and should just be downloaded for free here.
But after all you got to appreciate F95Zone for what it is and offers.

Even for Developers, as you can see some of the bigger names in this scene are actively reading and commenting on this site themself, because there will always be a mix of actual supporters between the majority of pirates reading their game threads as well. And where else would they be able to talk about it? Not on Patreon comment section for sure.
Yes, I'm well aware.

I do appreciate the exposure.

You just wont understand the frustration until you put in hours and hours of work just to see it be taken advantage of.

I'm not saying there aren't benefits to the leak, all I'm saying is that as a dev, it hurts bc I'm the one who puts in all the work.

I get it tho. And im still here. So it is what it is.

Edit: I'd also like to add that I have some awesome supporters. I honestly feel that most, if not all (minus the leaker) of my supporters support me for the game being made, not just early access to the game. And although early access is the main benefit I can offer as a developer, I know that it's not the only reason why they support me, and I am grateful for that. I know other dev's offer more goodies to their Patron's, but I'm still in the early stages of development and I don't have nearly enough "goodies" to offer, so this leak hurt me more than if I was at a much later stage of development. Sure I gained a few supporters since the leak, so far two $10 two $5 and one $1. So that alone shows that a leak can help.

I got upset and reacted the way I did because of the frustration caused from all the hours of hard work and effort I put into this game and the fact that early access is one of the main benefits I can offer early on. Add to that, it was the first leak of my game, so the feeling was new to me. I was also upset at how my supporters were affected. But then I realized that they support me for making the game, not just for early access.

So yeah, I've cooled down a bit since that post you quoted. I understand this is a site for rips and leaks and such. I get that, and I accepted it as soon as I became a member of this forum. I just had to go through it and adapt to it. Now I have, so I'll try not to be as upset next time it happens. :sneaky:
 
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4.00 star(s) 8 Votes