VN Ren'Py Abandoned Apart [Demo] [NI.L.A]

[Deleted member 3313873]

Overview:
Split together. The main character finds himself away from his sister.
The main character is trying to regain what has been lost.
And he is willing to do anything to make this happen.​

Thread Updated: 2021-02-21
Release Date: 2021-02-20
Original Title: Apart
Developer: NI.L.A

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Censored: No
Version: Demo
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac, Android
Language: English
Genre:

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Future Genre:

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Installation:

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Changelog:

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Developer Notes:

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DOWNLOAD
Win:

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Linux:

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Mac:

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Unofficial Android:

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(Thanks to gamecax (here) for the Unofficial Android Release)

​

 

[Deleted member 3313873]

Heya mods. Can I request this game to be moved to the `Games` section?
Also, I have limited upload speed. I would be grateful if `uploaders` can reupload the `MEGA` links in the thread to other hosting sites.

Thanks.

Regards,
NI.L.A

 

[EZ8lt]

If you seriously considering to do something with this, there's a few things you have to fix up for sure. The background in his "room" had the quality of a 240p picture. I don't know where you got the MC character model, but from behind, around his neck there's a very visible image bug, kinda looks like something from a PS2 game. Fight system wasn't bad, but sorta illogical with sometimes the first strike being faster, then sometimes the last being superfast. Storywise I had a perfect score and yet it was that it was a close fight, it shouldn't have been, there were no indications to it. The English wasn't that bad, despite your statement about your own level, it's much better than most of the engrish speaking first few version games out there. By the way, will the sister come in play, or she's gonna be just a plot device?

 

[rKnight]

Little of story there is, isn't enough to make up for a plot; Models used are the same used in most HS games.

Some strong advice that I was once given by a game designer, was to keep chopping away and away at your story until you have something that you cannot chop at any more and maintain it. My advice would be to focus on getting a linear story together featuring few characters/scenes and then go back and bulk it out as you go along.

Planned Genre: Incest

I'd like to see the part where the protag find excuses to fuck his sister.

 

[Deleted member 3313873]

By the way, will the sister come in play, or she's gonna be just a plot device?

Actually yes. That would keep the story running, finding clues and information about the sister. So I have this vague idea of an ending (since it's a multiple ending VN after all) where you are able to finally find your sister, or you lost her forever because of *distractions*.
I plan to introduce her memories actually in Episode 2, where it be more like flashbacks of the past to give much more context about what's happening *fingers crossed*.

Thank you for the input guys. You guys are awesome.

 

[xmilteach]

thx

 

[Kingvlad]

Looks good

Thanks for sharing your work with us NI.L.A

Cheers

 

[Deleted member 3313873]

Looks good

Thanks for sharing your work with us NI.L.A

Cheers

Thank you for the kind words Kingvlad ^^. I know it's still very far away from acceptable, but I'm trying my best.

 

[Bildur]

Looks very promising

 

[Lerd0]

I'll do everything to protect that smile.
Thanks for the share and good luck.

 

[Deleted member 1399911]

Looks interesting.. Will put it on my watch list for now though, see what other future tags get added in..

 

[erg1986]

Developer's whining at the end is as long as the game itself. There is nothing to rate this game on, just a minute of gameplay, half of that is qte.

 

[Laki IH]

There is definitely potential here. I voted positively in the poll, but the phrasing of the options was too absolute on the positive and negative without having more middle-ground options and the "neutral" option is very strangely worded. If you're only going with three options I would suggest something like:

Positive: I look forward to seeing this project grow.
Neutral: Meh, could go either way. I might check back later.
Negative: I'm uninterested unless something changes in the future.

But that's just me. As far as critique of the demo, I would hope to see image and model quality improve over time, as well as the grammar, but they're both at "tolerable" levels compared to what atrocities I've experienced elsewhere, though this is partially down to taste. Perhaps tone the QTE down a bit, repeating the 5-step sequence 5 times is a bit much; my suggestion would be 3 times. It is good though that you warn the player before they begin though, so it won't catch anyone off-guard unless they're skipping. If you want to "save" skippers you can make the warning a "choice" so it'll halt skipping. As for the story, well we've only got a minimal taste of the premise, but said premise seems a little interesting and not overdone, but with what little is presented I can offer nothing more meaningful in that regard.

Good luck moving forward!

 

[caxhub]

Download android Demo APK

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P/s: Request Link Android Game at my

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[Faptime]

Download android Demo APK Mega
P/s: Request Link Android Game at my

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Hey gamecax. Please provide a way to skip the quicktime events to make this port actually playable. Thanks!

 

[libertypics]

I voted no/trash but don't wish any ill will if the dev wants to step up and change my mind so, to be fair, why I voted that way...

- Nothing in this story stands out.
- Nothing in the fets/adult content stands out.
- Nothing in these renders stands out.
- Nothing in the game play stands out (positively). QTE's are disliked by more adult players than liked and to be liked they have to be executed better.
- A Dev already asking questions like "Is this worth it" at just the Demo doesn't strike confidence they won't abandon this at the first sign of adversity (which WILL happen, even to good games with experienced devs).
- The market is flooded. I'm defaulting to skeptical.

... I've got no issue if I'm proven wrong and the dev does grow and make something of this but right now, if you want a fluffy answer pretend I said "Maybe" but if you want an honest answer, it's "No". If you need external validation to be making this, not your own desire to tell this story or desire to improve, just walk away now.

 

[fried]

No apparent word from the Dev for over a year, similar timeframe for the most recent release. Patreon and itch.io sites pages are down.

Marked as Abandoned