I understand where you are coming from, you want to help, and I thank you for that, but, this is a pre alpha version, which has been made while I am making Shelly's Future Past with monthly updates, working a full time job and working on two games, so, I apologize that I wanted to leave the proof reading part to the last thing I do before the full first release for v1.0 update, which has not yet been made public, due to Shelly's Future Past, needs to get past Ep8.3 for no spoilers
Alpha version is totally different to the full version that will be released, many of the scenes have all changed, much of the dialogue in the Pre Alpha has also changed
If, in this universe, lesbian parents are extremely common, titles would likely have been invented and become vernacular to distinguish between the mom who carried her and her other mom. So these titles can really be anything that sounds affectionate.
Shelly's Future Past has a complete story on how two lesbians have a blood daughter, which is through a similar process, to IVF, where one of the mothers XX chromosome is changed through an advance process to make a XY chromosome, with the other mother with XX chromosome will carry their child, so both Shelly and Triss are 100% genetic parents for Becky
Shelly and Triss are MOM to Becky
The whole universe is set within 3095
I haven't played Shelly's Future Past yet, so I'm out of the loop... It's possible that her lines about being naked in public, taking the top down, and the vibrate mode are meant to be titillating or funny, but they also characterize Becky as dumb. If these are meant as humor, it's too soon, at least for new players. We can't think, "That's so Becky!", because we don't know who Becky is or what she's about yet.
For new players, they would likely have to play Shelly's Future Past first, as the whole story from SFP is continued within Becky's Reckoning as this is a sequel to the overall story being told, which is why, at the beginning of the full version first release, you get asked if you played Shelly's Future Past, you also get asked on choices you made within SFP to complete the story, as that all continues within Beck's story
If the player has not played SFP, then, they need to select the correct options, as this will lead to a completely different story being told and all the dialogue is different and will take longer before Becky goes nude for that part of the story branch
The full release has way more scenes, before they even get to the car scenes, plus there is a flashback if you made the correct choices before the game starts
Shelly's Future Past finishes off a day before Becky's Reckoning starts, both stories are connected
In general, very little punctuation. Commas hardly get used, which causes sentences to run on. No periods either, but it is a lesbian-focused game, so maybe that's a meta joke
It's a pre alpha version, where I am working on two games and have a full time job, the full version is set to be released in March, so, in March the whole script in the story will be fully proof read and corrected before it's released
Triss "You never liked it when we tried teaching you, and I'm proud of you for giving it another go, baby."Triss "Hopefully she'll get you swimming in no time!" # It's possible that "our baby Lou" is important context, but we can already suspect that Lou is our cousin.
Yeah, Louise is Becky's cousin and Triss and Shelly's niece, but I am from the UK and sayings like Our Baby or Our Kid is common slang within northern UK for a family member
The 'hahahahaha' gets a bit grating over time. You could use action tags like "*laughs*" or "*giggles*", or even remove them entirely and just show the person in the render laughing
I do agree with this one, as I don't like writing hahahahah or Arrrrrrhhhhhhh, but writing, just laughs or giggles, is too generic for my liking as well
