I didn't last long in this.
All the characters sound the same. Super long dialog expressing very little... it's all so formal and without slang or soul. These guys are supposed to be in the modern world of amateur musicians and they talk like 1950s socialites.
Come to think of it... they don't talk like this anywhere or at any time... These aren't natural conversations between two characters... this is all dialog aimed at the reader to tell them things. Unimportant, boring things. To describe every inconsequential action or thought. It reads like watching the awkward tampon commercial "Mother, do you ever feel not so fresh?" Only this is never that subtle and much more detailed.
All the internal dialog has a ton of "as a matter of fact..." and "you'd be surprised that..." and "who would have thought that..." and then they go on to say something that simply isn't extraordinary as the lead in had set up. It's too much flowery language and a ton of exposition. Two characters talking about something they both already know all about just for us to learn something we didn't know... or even need to know.
And most of the beginning of the story is just a hyper examination of the mundane... details of every annoying step a person takes in life. It gives a clear impression that the vast majority of this is going to be reading about him going to the bathroom, washing his hands, ordering food, paying at a cashier, hailing a cab, tuning his guitar... just mundane.
Good writing isn't what you put into something... it's often what you leave out. And everything is in here... even in a "slice of life" everything written should advance something... character, plot, world building...
After one day I am certain I'll be able to sleep with 5 different women and already have 1... all the women exist to please the MC. The first romantic interaction you get is with a prospective doctor but there is nothing professional about her. She's insecure, tosses herself out there at a random guy she hasn't even met... I'm 1000% certain that no one is very successful if they're this careless and she'd have to be successful to be that far along as a doc and living in an upscale apartment.
And I'm doing everything in my power to turn off the singer and she's still kissing me out of the blue and writing love songs to me...
Going off the first few days alone, I guarantee that when this project started, the author fired up DAZ, downloaded a ton of stock models, and Renpy, and just started typing with no particular idea of where to go only knowing they were going to make a story with a guy who wants to be in music.
No research. No character sheets with background or motives. No plot outline. Just the "Oh, that's how it's made-I can do that!" spirit and nothing more.
Offering three choices that are all going to be used eventually... Offering choices to ignore a door or answer it... either way, you're answering it. Offering lewd choices to continue to do something or stop doing something ends the same way.
This is objectively bad but because of the sheer number of incomplete games, abandoned projects, and very long wait for quality updates, this probably just seems like something because it has "content".
But it's not... there's no immersion with these lifeless characters... there's no conflict when you're handed an apartment, dough, a job, and 5 love interests who are certainly into you on your first day in the world.
And the MC is a creepy looking kid who is shown entirely too much. When he speaks, I want to hate him because he has as much character as cardboard, and as a result I have a hard time immersing myself "to be him". Then I see him and it's like... "no..."
And I'm pretty sure he has scoliosis given his posture in every shot.
This author doesn't know how young people talk... doesn't know how musicians interact... doesn't know how professional women have self esteem... doesn't know how to write... and is clearly learning all of this as they go. And more power to them, for that... I hope they learn storytelling... my animosity only stems from the fact that someone is probably paying for this.
This is content for content's sake... if you're bored this will offer you a ton of clicks... and if you've never read a book you might enjoy the writing.
The only fun I had was naming the band "Bland Adult Visual Novel".
And when she tells you not to cum in her mouth... just do it... it doesn't matter. It won't stop her from letting you do it a second time. The only thing stopping you from getting it all and doing whatever you want, is you.
And finally: after playing it for three or four in game days, they've auditioned and added a singer and a lead guitarist, wrote a new song, practiced in the "music shed" and for the life of me I couldn't tell you if these guys are playing death metal or electric dance music... I have no idea if their music influences are Metallica or Justin Beiber... I haven't heard anyone mention the words "scale" or "harmonics" or "A minor"... it's entirely generic and bland. The author probably doesn't know music, either. That's where planning and/or research would have went a long way.
I actually did finish this and I stand by most of what I said above... and I'll add that all sexual encounters are initiated by the NPC and nearly all actions are discussed before they take place... it's tedious and harkens back to what I mentioned above... these aren't characters talking to each other... this is an author telling the reader step by step what is happening through their dialog.
Just bad storytelling. I stuck it out for reasons having nothing to do with it's quality or my own enjoyment. Just a sheer lack of games left that I haven't played on this site and too much time on my hands.
All the characters sound the same. Super long dialog expressing very little... it's all so formal and without slang or soul. These guys are supposed to be in the modern world of amateur musicians and they talk like 1950s socialites.
Come to think of it... they don't talk like this anywhere or at any time... These aren't natural conversations between two characters... this is all dialog aimed at the reader to tell them things. Unimportant, boring things. To describe every inconsequential action or thought. It reads like watching the awkward tampon commercial "Mother, do you ever feel not so fresh?" Only this is never that subtle and much more detailed.
All the internal dialog has a ton of "as a matter of fact..." and "you'd be surprised that..." and "who would have thought that..." and then they go on to say something that simply isn't extraordinary as the lead in had set up. It's too much flowery language and a ton of exposition. Two characters talking about something they both already know all about just for us to learn something we didn't know... or even need to know.
And most of the beginning of the story is just a hyper examination of the mundane... details of every annoying step a person takes in life. It gives a clear impression that the vast majority of this is going to be reading about him going to the bathroom, washing his hands, ordering food, paying at a cashier, hailing a cab, tuning his guitar... just mundane.
Good writing isn't what you put into something... it's often what you leave out. And everything is in here... even in a "slice of life" everything written should advance something... character, plot, world building...
After one day I am certain I'll be able to sleep with 5 different women and already have 1... all the women exist to please the MC. The first romantic interaction you get is with a prospective doctor but there is nothing professional about her. She's insecure, tosses herself out there at a random guy she hasn't even met... I'm 1000% certain that no one is very successful if they're this careless and she'd have to be successful to be that far along as a doc and living in an upscale apartment.
And I'm doing everything in my power to turn off the singer and she's still kissing me out of the blue and writing love songs to me...
Going off the first few days alone, I guarantee that when this project started, the author fired up DAZ, downloaded a ton of stock models, and Renpy, and just started typing with no particular idea of where to go only knowing they were going to make a story with a guy who wants to be in music.
No research. No character sheets with background or motives. No plot outline. Just the "Oh, that's how it's made-I can do that!" spirit and nothing more.
Offering three choices that are all going to be used eventually... Offering choices to ignore a door or answer it... either way, you're answering it. Offering lewd choices to continue to do something or stop doing something ends the same way.
This is objectively bad but because of the sheer number of incomplete games, abandoned projects, and very long wait for quality updates, this probably just seems like something because it has "content".
But it's not... there's no immersion with these lifeless characters... there's no conflict when you're handed an apartment, dough, a job, and 5 love interests who are certainly into you on your first day in the world.
And the MC is a creepy looking kid who is shown entirely too much. When he speaks, I want to hate him because he has as much character as cardboard, and as a result I have a hard time immersing myself "to be him". Then I see him and it's like... "no..."
And I'm pretty sure he has scoliosis given his posture in every shot.
This author doesn't know how young people talk... doesn't know how musicians interact... doesn't know how professional women have self esteem... doesn't know how to write... and is clearly learning all of this as they go. And more power to them, for that... I hope they learn storytelling... my animosity only stems from the fact that someone is probably paying for this.
This is content for content's sake... if you're bored this will offer you a ton of clicks... and if you've never read a book you might enjoy the writing.
The only fun I had was naming the band "Bland Adult Visual Novel".
And when she tells you not to cum in her mouth... just do it... it doesn't matter. It won't stop her from letting you do it a second time. The only thing stopping you from getting it all and doing whatever you want, is you.
And finally: after playing it for three or four in game days, they've auditioned and added a singer and a lead guitarist, wrote a new song, practiced in the "music shed" and for the life of me I couldn't tell you if these guys are playing death metal or electric dance music... I have no idea if their music influences are Metallica or Justin Beiber... I haven't heard anyone mention the words "scale" or "harmonics" or "A minor"... it's entirely generic and bland. The author probably doesn't know music, either. That's where planning and/or research would have went a long way.
I actually did finish this and I stand by most of what I said above... and I'll add that all sexual encounters are initiated by the NPC and nearly all actions are discussed before they take place... it's tedious and harkens back to what I mentioned above... these aren't characters talking to each other... this is an author telling the reader step by step what is happening through their dialog.
Just bad storytelling. I stuck it out for reasons having nothing to do with it's quality or my own enjoyment. Just a sheer lack of games left that I haven't played on this site and too much time on my hands.
