My BADIK Girls Ranked List.
Article.
NOTE: This list only includes characters with Lewd scenes to make it simpler. So Aerith, Heather (technically), etc. doesn't make the list. I wasn't going to include Ashley but technically she did have a lewd scene with oral sex from the MC. Also, I'm obviously not including characters with no lines or names such as that short-haired blond bombshell in the red dress next to the asian girl talking to Heather on the DK mansion second floor (yummy), or that INSANELY GORGEOUS woman on the second floor balcony overseeing the main room early in the game (I think after the Cum-petition). This girl is way hotter than everyone in the game by far. Look for her. She's the freeze framed brunette far to the right standing near where Aerith is posing in the Episode 2 scene where the two DIKs discuss having a 3 way with her. I can't recall exactly what scene she's in, but look for her on the balcony and prepare to drool.
Without further ado...
1. Jill (obviously). She's got it all. Prettiest face, chest, compassionate and warm personality, and ooooo those eyes. She's THE one and only keeper in the game and the one Doc is teasing us with holding off on her lewd scene. I melt whenever she's on screen. She a little thicker than I usually prefer my women (she got a big booty...as hard as that is to believe considering her athleticism), but she's curvy juuuuust right. If all these girls were in my real life, I would choose her over the others without a second's hesitation. She promises a long, exciting, and happy marriage. You'll grow old with this treasure and die happy and fulfilled. Sorry...am I drooling? *And yes, like many on the boards, I'm worried that Doc is going to ruin her in later Episodes. I fear he'll make her MC's sister, a serial killer, lesbian adulteress, or something horrible just to "subvert my expectations." I hope not. That would be a game breaker for me. DOC! A good hearted, emotionally healthy, nice person WOULD subvert everyone's expectations because Hollywood and authors think they don't make for good stories and so never really make them. PROVE THEM WRONG, BRUH!
2. Sage (obviously). Other than her fake butt, she's perfect. Seriously if she had a butt like Quinn or Mona, she'd be my #1 (aaaa...maybe. Jill is hard to beat). She's a friendly, compassionate, fiery red-head with a quick temper, but is quick to realize when she is out of line. Just about every time she has an outburst she immediately recognizes it and usually makes amends. I find that endearing and sexy. I think Doc really likes her because she has by far the best, longest, and most frequent lewd scenes in the game. Thank you, Doc!
3. Mona (I know...it's just me apparently). I just love this gal. She is gorgeous, has one of the top 2 or 3 best bodies in the game and has a very sexy, warm, and charming personality (as little as we get to see of her). All the Mona/Camilla scenes make me smile. And it's Mona that's usually making me smile most of the time. MC: "Hey, Camilla, can you help with Sex Outdoors for Hell Week?" Camilla: "Do you need pictures?" MC: "Yeah, but your tattoos and figure would give you away." DUDE! Mona is sitting right next to her, flashing her Nips at you! What the heck is wrong with you, man?!? Ask HER! Doc, you're killin' me! MORE MONA! And if Quinn hurts her in Ep. 6, I'm hunting you down (just kidding...you're awesome).
4/5. Maya. Maya broke my heart. I really got into the game and I felt betrayed nearly as much as the MC even though I could see it coming since early in Episode 1 (Give me 100% and I'll give you 0%, okay? I'm savagely insecure and, I'm gonna fake seduce you and contribute to a felony because hey, I can't be bothered to fill out a student loan application). So she has two scores. 4 is Pre-Betrayal: You just know she's a brain-damaged woman, but you're hopeful. And 5 is Post-Betrayal: You're hot but let's just be cordial and no, you can't babysit my children. Maya is gorgeous. Cute expressions, sweet personality (apparently a disguise hiding the morally bankrupt heart beneath) and a cute body, though her boobs are clearly fake (big turn off), tongue piercing (ick), and she really does have bad skin as other folk have pointed out.
4/5. Isabella (obviously) (depending on pre or post betrayal Maya). Like Jade, I cringe whenever I go through romance scenes with her, a married woman. But I'm basing this off her looks and personality, though for me, married women are off the table, even in my imagination. Though at first her creepy expressions weirded me out, that changed in time. Doc is a genius. Look at her eyes. Blank expression, but it's all there in her eyes. I also love how SHE always chooses the DIK options and sneaks peaks at MC at EVERY opportunity (giving her +1MC every time I'm sure). Watch her eyes when he's not looking at her. She's almost always staring at his butt or his crotch. I find that hilarious and a little sexy (if a bit creepy). Other than her creepiness, the only thing I don't like about her physically is her giant butt. It is cartoonishly big. Actually impossibly big. This woman is athletic. Fat isn't a muscle that grows with exercise. A muscular butt isn't big--it's firm. A woman who does extensive regular Yoga and sits in a sauna routinely (which helps burn fat cells) cannot have a butt that big IRL unless she eats cake all day every day or has a thyroid condition. Her butt should look tight and athletic like Quinn's. But it's a game. Light sabers, transporter beams, hyperspace, talking racoons, and women who do extensive regular exercise with fat butts...No problem. Willing suspension of disbelief. Hehe. Oh, and if she turns out to be a serial killer or lesbian adulteress, I'll be highly disappointed.
6. Jade. One of the pretties faces in the game and a great body. Me being me, the fact that she's married makes me cringe whenever the MC makes advances at her. I'm with Bella on this: I don't really like Jade much as a person. She's nice but always has some hidden thought or agenda that's never good or healthy. She would be a person I would genuinely be polite to but otherwise avoid IRL. She's dangerous. An expulsion or a false sexual harassment charge waiting to happen.
7. Josey. I really liked Josey earlier in the game, but as her flakiness and duplicitous nature emerged (and frankly I'm not interested in bisexual women...don't question my life choices), she plummeted down the list further and further for each new character that was introduced to the game until I literally forgot about her (NOTE: I finished the list but realized I forgot about her and had to fit her in...she's that uninteresting to me now). But she is very pretty, and one of my top 3 bodies in the game...when I remember her. She is also sweet (surprise...it's a mask), and she's pretty short which I find cute (I'm 6'4" so petite attractive women really stand out to me for some reason). I guess the main reason I don't like her is that she is perfectly okay with her actions and duplicity, and seems a bit confused as to why her choices hurt the MC, though she is dreadfully sorry he's sad. She is however moved to tears when she sees how her choices hurt Maya. Yikes! Hypocrite much? Almost makes it as bad as Maya who at least has the excuse of not being able to discern right from wrong. Bah! I wash my hands and feet of you, woman!
8. Cathy. Because she's a redhead I almost put her ahead of Jade, but her lipstick is clownish. Not only is it too red, too glossy and put on with a hose, but she also spreads out past her lips to make them look bigger. She would truly be far more attractive if she would wipe that crap off. She is quirky, bold, and smart, all of which I LOVE in women. She does suffer from a severe insecurity problem which I find unattractive. But DANG! One of the top 3 bodies in the game. Another expulsion or sexual harassment charge waiting (though I doubt she would ever false-MeToo someone like Jade certainly would, but she could unintentionally end your college and professional career as she stated to the MC in their lewd scene. Befriend but be platonic IRL.
9. Ashley. This is a strange one. She is so pretty (apart from that odd nose), and a redhead (yum). Cute figure, though she does have a flat butt (see the HOTtest Butt game). But like many people on the forums, she still doesn't do anything for me and I have no idea why. Knowing me as I know me, I should just LOVE this woman, but...meh. Maybe it's a Bro-Respect thing because she and Derek are clearly into each other. I've no idea why I don't have her higher on the list. Mystery to me.
10. Quinn. This pains me to put her this high on the list because I truly can't stand her. She turns my stomach and I find myself skipping through her scenes after my first playthough. She is a disgusting, sick, evil person. Her hairstyle is ridiculous and her makeup is horrifying. Nose ring? Barf! Maybe when she gets out of prison (the only possible future for this degenerate), she'll start acting like an actual human, go to a hair stylist and that might make her my #3. Her personality is so repulsive to me that I would normally but her at the bottom of the list or disqualify her for not being human. Dating her IRL would destroy your life as a person. You'd end up in prison with her or dead, or just a burnout with no future. BUT... she has (by far) the best body in the game. Bar none. No one comes close. Look at it. Athletic, tight, curvy. No flab, just toned muscle. Perfect butt and legs. No disfiguring tattoos (on her body anyway). Her bust size might be a bit small for some people but I'm okay with it. And underneath the nightmarish makeup she wears, and that stupid tattoo and nose ring, she has a very beautiful face and lovely eyes. BUT DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT! "Sage, whenever we do the HOTtest Butt game, I always chose Mona...but seriously, it's Quinn. I just hate her so I never pick it". Hehe. A gorgeous woman made ugly by her personality and cosmetic choices.
11. Melanie. If not for the profoundly ugly and disfiguring tattoo polluting her chest, she would probably by my #3 or 4. Her eyes. My God! She is sultry without being repellant like her side-kick Sarah. But don't let that fool you. I think she is more like Sara and Quinn that she seems. Great figure (almost made it to my top 3 bods). Exotic face, and probably the overall sexiest girl in the game. But let's brand her chest with ugly graffiti! NOOOOO! Because her lewd scene is doggie style and we aren't forced to look at that horror on her upper torso, the shower scene is one of my favorite lewd scenes in the game. Savage pitty about the disfiguring. Criminal.
12. Lilly. Nose rings challenge my gag reflex, and are as attractive to me as the cows that started the fashion. Ugly arm tattoo. But she's cute in a Harley Quinn kind of way. Nothing to write home about. And she's a stripper so...keep away.
13. Envy. Great lewd scene. Pretty but not exceptional looks. And she's a stripper. Guys, strippers are strippers for a reason. And NONE of those reasons are conducive to a fruitful and happy relationship. Trust me on this. Date one and you will suffer for it. And NOT in a good way.
14. Camille. It's my fault she's so low on the list...baring the disfiguring tattoo on her side. But I'm a black man who isn't attracted to black women. Though, like the MC I think I would consider her a friend in real life. And the fact that she is genuinely attracted the MC but not a monster about it (like Quinn), I find that a bit endearing. I wish I could put her higher on the list. But tattoo...prostitute...not for me.
15. Riona. I really wanted to like her. She seems like she just needs a friend who's not out to use her. Her personality is kind of sweet and laid back, but she is a hooker, drug addict, and Quinn's co-conspirator so she is also a criminal who apparently came to college to prepare for her career as a Prison Inmate. Putting all that aside, ugly tattoos, nose ring like a cow, and very bad makeup makes her about as attractive to me a lampshade.
16. Sarah. Okay body and face. Nothing stands out. But she is almost as bad a person as Quinn. Can't stand her. She's a hooker who enjoys being mean and hurtful to everyone, even her friends. In real life I would truly dislike her and either treat her as I might an enemy, or at best never associate with her. Like Quinn and Riona, it is impossible to assume that this abomination doesn't land in prison or dead in an ally before her college education is completed.
17. Rose. One of the potentially prettiest women in the game made it to the bottom of my list. She should be in the top 5 (heck...top 2 if her hair wasn't like a 5 year old boy's). But she made it to the bottom despite that fact that she has a great body and a gorgeous face. Tragically, they are hidden head to toe by horrendously fugly tattoos. She would be no less attractive if she were a head to foot burn victim. Yep...you guessed it. I can't stand tattoos and don't date women that have them. Oh, and she's a stripper so...avoid at all costs.
So, that's my list. I think I remembered all of them.
What's your list?
*Remember, personal tastes are purely subjective and are never wrong. Don't criticize someone who likes a different song or different woman than you.
