Comics Collection BigYikes123 Collection [2024-04-09] [BigYikes123]

[LadyBoyJay]

Overview:
BigYikes123 is a creator on DeviantArt who is currently making feminization/transformation comics. If you enjoy any of these comics, please add BigYikes123 to your DeviantArt watch list to see the newest updates. They currently have commenting disabled on their profile, so you can either leave some encouraging comments on here for them to find, or you can send them a direct message through DeviantArt to let them know how much you enjoyed their comics.​

Updated: 2024-04-09
Artist: BigYikes123 -

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Censorship: No
Language: English
Resolution: Various
Pages: Various
Genre:

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Installation:

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Change-log:

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Downloads:
A Student 'Exchanged' (17 pages)

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From Twitch to OnlyFans (29 pages + 1 bonus page)

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​

 

[LadyBoyJay]

I really like this comic! Hopefully, we can give BigYikes123 some fan support and turn them into a full-time comic creator.

 

[rebirth095]

I have to say, I get kinda nostalgic for the "captioned images" style of comic. Reminds me of a lot of JenDerbender's works on the old Yahoo groups, and NikkiJ's stuff (nevermind the even older Donnie's World captions).

From a formatting perspective, I'm gonna put on my critical hat and say, even if you're trying to keep a form factor, you should start a new line when dialogue is going back and forth between two characters. Makes reading it a lot easier.

That said, I like the progression. I like the mental aspects. I would have loved more intermediate crossdressing between parts 5 and 6, but I can also accept that this is meant to be a breezy feminization. I'm always looking for more "woman feminizes man to be her lesbian girlfriend/wife", so

 

[Bunny_Lvr]

Wow, very well done!

 

[misseva88]

Funny how the student exchanged theme with Japan remains such an often used trope in this genre. I'm not familiar with the examples rebirth095 mentions, but for me I think immediately of an old Joe Six-Pack story:

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. That story is 22 years old.

That story wasn't the first, nor will this one be the last with a similar premise. This one's a solid heartwarming story. Kudo's to the author.

 

[LadyBoyJay]

BigYikes123 just published a new comic. This one is called From Twitch to OnlyFans. Very lovely!

 

[rebirth095]

BigYikes123 just published a new comic. This one is called From Twitch to OnlyFans. Very lovely!

View attachment 3523613

So, gonna be a bit more critical this time around (especially with the story getting longer and having more content). Really wished that with the whole twitch streamer start, along with the cosplay, more costumes would have been explored. Especially given the popular games that are played, there are plenty of characters to choose from and to have as subscriber goals. Obviously you're familiar with Finnster, but Sneaky's crossplaying back in the day was impressively well done, and I'd love for this story to have utilized some of the popular characters. Feels a little bit like a missed opportunity. Since the transformation was really a story of boyfriend to goth girlfriend: rather than Sailor Moon, it feels like some Cyberpunk, Shadowheart, or some femme fetale looking characters as stepping stones would have set it up a bit.

Kinda wished the subscriber side of things mattered more. Granted, this story is written to be more wholesome, but considering the way content creators chase view and subscriber count, I would have liked to see the viewers help escalate. You could have even kept that the main character secretly found a feminine side, and was eager to take up the "punishment". And knowing chat, the requests would have easily been coming in after the first round of cosplay

Also, text is really small. And formatting could still use some improvement.

Overall, with the longer story, there were more times where as I read, I felt like there was a mismatch between what was being described and what we were supposed to "get" from the scene (i.e. a moment that's kinda un-wholesome being romanticized). Models were cute, and I did find the physical progression an improvement over the last story.

 

[LadyBoyJay]

So, gonna be a bit more critical this time around (especially with the story getting longer and having more content). Really wished that with the whole twitch streamer start, along with the cosplay, more costumes would have been explored. Especially given the popular games that are played, there are plenty of characters to choose from and to have as subscriber goals. Obviously you're familiar with Finnster, but Sneaky's crossplaying back in the day was impressively well done, and I'd love for this story to have utilized some of the popular characters. Feels a little bit like a missed opportunity. Since the transformation was really a story of boyfriend to goth girlfriend: rather than Sailor Moon, it feels like some Cyberpunk, Shadowheart, or some femme fetale looking characters as stepping stones would have set it up a bit.

Yes, I'm very familiar with F1NN5TER. That's who I was thinking about in my head the whole time I was reading the story. I also could have thought about Natalie Mars. I watched her back when she first started doing webcam videos, before her "egg" cracked. Natalie started off so similar to F1NN5TER, both swore that they were still manly men who were only attracted to women despite their increasing feminization. It will be interesting to see if F1NN5TER follows along in Natalie's footsteps.

A Shadowheart cosplay would have been great! Any other goth characters would have been great as well. I'm not actually familiar with Sailor Moon. I know the name and recognize her, but I've never watched the movies or shows that she is from. I'm an American so I grew up on 90's American cartoons without easy access to Japanese anime. To date, the only true Japanese anime that I've seen is the original version of Cowboy Bebop. Loved it! I'm not the right audience for a Sailor Moon cosplay, but I would assume that the younger worldwide audience is happier that BigYikes123 choose that character rather than someone obscure like Ramona from Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Kenzi from Lost Girl, Five from Dark Matter, the Baroness from G.I. Joe, etc. I personally would have loved those choices though.

Kinda wished the subscriber side of things mattered more. Granted, this story is written to be more wholesome, but considering the way content creators chase view and subscriber count, I would have liked to see the viewers help escalate. You could have even kept that the main character secretly found a feminine side, and was eager to take up the "punishment". And knowing chat, the requests would have easily been coming in after the first round of cosplay

Letting the viewers escalate things (in hindsight those were excuses to keep doing it) is exactly what F1NN5TER and Natalie Mars did. That would have been fun to see, but it would have added a lot more work to this project, so I can see why BigYikes123 probably didn't want their second ever comic to become too big. If they are interesting in going bigger, they can work up to it by honing their skills with the smaller comics. I wish I had done that years ago with my first failed video game attempt instead of spending four years working on a game that got so big that it died from scope creep. Or BigYikes123 can just stay with smaller comics. There is a strong fan base for them. I like comics in all shapes and sizes, so I'm happy either way.

Also, text is really small. And formatting could still use some improvement.

The text size and formatting is a tricky thing to get right when someone isn't using the traditional comic format with speech bubbles. This was really more of an illustrated story than a comic. Balancing the size of the image with the size of the text underneath it is difficult. I've previously thought about doing illustrated stories but I'm a very descriptive writer, so I would be facing a similar challenge of whether to shrink an image to fit lots of text underneath it or risk "scope creep" by adding additional pages with additional images to balance things out.

 

[rebirth095]

the Baroness from G.I. Joe, etc.

Hilariously, I was also thinking the Baroness would have made a great "goth" stepping stone, but I felt like it's been a while since G.I. Joe was in the mainstream (that awful Snake Eyes movie doing no favors. Úrsula Corberó looks fine and all, but Sienna Miller looked incredible). Heck, in terms of raven haired "femme fetales", I was thinking Miranda from Mass Effect, but that's over a decade old at this point. I guess for something "relevant", Jenna Ortega as Wednesday could have been one to pull from.

In theory, I could have been the "target" audience for a Sailor Moon crossplay, but for that to have been satisfying for me, it needed to lead somewhere. Like, if he first dresses as Sailor Moon, then did a Princess Peach, followed by a Mercy from Overwatch, then a Harley Quinn or Barbie, ending up as a blonde bubbly bimbo girlfriend: then, the return to wearing the Sailor Moon cosplay now that she'd have the body for it would have been satisfying. But it just looked weird to go goth and then put that back on. Hell, if she'd worn a Sailor Saturn costume, that would have visually fit at least a bit better, lol.

Basically, I was really looking for the "escalation" and instead, it felt like a sudden shift from nowhere.

I've previously thought about doing illustrated stories but I'm a very descriptive writer, so I would be facing a similar challenge of whether to shrink an image to fit lots of text underneath it or risk "scope creep" by adding additional pages with additional images to balance things out.

I think the first priority should always be legibility. It's ok if you end up with a wall of text twice the height of the image as long as the text is a comfortable reading size. However, if the text is getting to be that long, it might be worth considering changing formats away from captioned images (the style of story that BigYikes has been posting so far), to an illustrated story (like the SWI on fictionmania or JoeSixPack stories). Or like Japanese light novels, just insert a page sized image when relevant. Different mediums have their strengths and weaknesses, and experimenting can help find new/better ways of telling the intended story. Literally just yesterday, I realized the illustrated story I was plotting out worked better as a series of captioned images. It made writing so much easier once I figured that out

 

[misseva88]

I think the From Twitch To OnlyFans story would have worked better in a (video?) diary format. The illustrations could be inserted for clarity, but if there'd been some sort of dating I think the transformation would be a bit clearer. In-text there was some pointing toward a time jump, but the images weren't really telling that story. That sort of means it sort of becomes an 'and-then' story, rather than a fluid story.

 

[LadyBoyJay]

I think the From Twitch To OnlyFans story would have worked better in a (video?) diary format. The illustrations could be inserted for clarity, but if there'd been some sort of dating I think the transformation would be a bit clearer. In-text there was some pointing toward a time jump, but the images weren't really telling that story. That sort of means it sort of becomes an 'and-then' story, rather than a fluid story.

I think I get what you are are saying. More visual cues. I didn't have any problems following along with the story, but it never hurts to add more little details. Maybe something really simple like adding a time stamp to the chat? Something like this quickly made mockup?

 

[misseva88]

I think I get what you are are saying. More visual cues. I didn't have any problems following along with the story, but it never hurts to add more little details. Maybe something really simple like adding a time stamp to the chat? Something like this quickly made mockup?

View attachment 3527772

My point is that the timeline is unclear and I would have liked some clarity on it. It's "a few days later" and "after a few weeks" and "months later" and all that. I think removing that from the text and simply giving dates on top would both make the timeline clearer at first glance and not need the timeline stuff in-text. With every page being pretty much a new day anyway I think it would have fit perfectly fine.

But if I'm the only one who feels that way I guess it's just a preference.

 

[LadyBoyJay]

My point is that the timeline is unclear and I would have liked some clarity on it. It's "a few days later" and "after a few weeks" and "months later" and all that. I think removing that from the text and simply giving dates on top would both make the timeline clearer at first glance and not need the timeline stuff in-text. With every page being pretty much a new day anyway I think it would have fit perfectly fine.

But if I'm the only one who feels that way I guess it's just a preference.

Something like what Cassie Rose Watson did with Undercover Sting? Yeah, timestamps like that would have been fine. Not really any downside to it. It just enriches the story with more little details. Personally, I wouldn't say that I have any complaints about timestamps being absent from the comic, but in hindsight, it would have been a cosmetic improvement. I feel like this is a good bit of advice for all comic creators, not just BigYikes123.

 

[misseva88]

Something like what Cassie Rose Watson did with Undercover Sting? Yeah, timestamps like that would have been fine. Not really any downside to it. It just enriches the story with more little details. Personally, I wouldn't say that I have any complaints about timestamps being absent from the comic, but in hindsight, it would have been a cosmetic improvement. I feel like this is a good bit of advice for all comic creators, not just BigYikes123.
View attachment 3527974

I haven't read the story you're referring to, but to me the timeline of events is usually interesting. Some of my favourite stories take place over the span of a year and there are clearly defined time markers every year, e.g. the start of fall, Halloween, Christmas, Mardi Gras, the first day of spring (and lighter clothes/ more skin shown), the start of summer, outdoor swimming and the lot. They're clearly defined times that allow a transformation to be explored on different levels. And they're fun references for us as a reader to both keep track of how long the main character has lived in their new gender, but also imagine about events going on outside of what we're seeing.

To me, the hair is fascinating. Remembering my own process in getting used to long hair and seeing how my experiences apply to that of a character in a story is interesting. Those touches make a story all the more realistic, versus a bit of a numeration of events.

 

[BigYikes123]

Thank you for the feedback. I agree that I should have had the main character do more cosplays in a more gothic fashion sense as it would make sense for the jump into her gothic phase pushed by the girlfriend, but unfortunately it never occured to me to do that and I used the Sailor Moon outfit again to show the contrast of just how much she'd changed. (I'm also limited to what i can use in Daz 3D. It can be hard to find full outfits/cosplays for my Daz models that would be relavent to the story and Sailor moon was one of the costume's I came across that would actually work on both my male and female model).

I originally wanted the chat to push the transformation and be one of the driving forces egging the main character on but I thought it would be too forced so I created Chloe the girlfriend to be the main driving force of the change instead. (I'm not a fan of forced transformations so I never ended up exploring the idea but it was the first idea that came to my mind, having chat donate and even possibly sending the main character clothing and objects through a PO Box).

I also agree that a timeframe should have been present, I like the example given that shows the dates. Once again I never thought to do this but it is something I will implement in the future. I usually go for timeframes of 1 year as then it can be viewed as a realistic timeline for changes and each month can be a step into the process.

Regarding the formatting, I come from a background of caption making a single image so it was natural for me to follow the same process of having a single picture followed by a wall of text. I find Melissa's style with caption bubbles hard to describe what characters are feeling and highlighting changes unless you're willing to make the caption comic go over 100+ pages to fill out every detail in multiple text bubbles. I don't want to make stories that are 100+ pages as it just isn't my thing. I might experiment with a speech bubble style comic in the future but it would be under 30 pages and I feel like it would serverly limit how much can be explored.

I'm always looking to improve my writing and descriptiveness which is something I really pushed with 'From Twitch To OnlyFans', the writing in the last couple of pics were very extreme and descriptive in terms of what the character was feeling. I'm happy with the sex scenes as I believe they were descriptive enough to paint an imagination. I also wanted to explore and highlight more details such as the character not being used to High heels and becoming submissive and seeing how it would impact them.

Overall, I agree that I definitely missed out on some key aspects that would have pushed the story futher and I will definitely try to do that next time.

Also if you have any idea's for a comic you'd like, please tell me as although I'm very busy in the next month, I will be exploring different idea's and would love to hear other ones from people who actually want to read this kind of content.

 

[LadyBoyJay]

Thank you for the feedback. I agree that I should have had the main character do more cosplays in a more gothic fashion sense as it would make sense for the jump into her gothic phase pushed by the girlfriend, but unfortunately it never occured to me to do that and I used the Sailor Moon outfit again to show the contrast of just how much she'd changed. (I'm also limited to what i can use in Daz 3D. It can be hard to find full outfits/cosplays for my Daz models that would be relavent to the story and Sailor moon was one of the costume's I came across that would actually work on both my male and female model).

Welcome aboard! Hopefully you've found our comments to be helpful and not too harsh. F95 is home to some high quality critics with very high standards, so always keep that in mind. I'll acknowledge that we are kind of unfairly treating you like a professional veteran artist/writer, rather than a newcomer who just posted their second comic. We just really enjoy analyzing comics/games/stories. Sometimes the criticisms might be kind of generalized for the MTF/feminization community, rather than just aimed at you specifically.

I liked both the renderings and the writing for the comic. In hindsight, some things could have been improved upon even more, but we can say that about most things posted here. Perfection is rarely achieved and even more rarely agreed upon by a diverse audience.

I originally wanted the chat to push the transformation and be one of the driving forces egging the main character on but I thought it would be too forced so I created Chloe the girlfriend to be the main driving force of the change instead. (I'm not a fan of forced transformations so I never ended up exploring the idea but it was the first idea that came to my mind, having chat donate and even possibly sending the main character clothing and objects through a PO Box).

Totally understandable! The feminization (or MTF or gender bender) community is very divided on how much "force" should be in forced feminization. I look at it like a scale of 1-100. The low end is basically voluntary, and the high end is the dark stuff where someone really struggles hard against it. I enjoy all types of stories, dark/sad or light/happy. They do require different story formulas from start to finish. One of the biggest mistakes that I see creators make is thinking that good endings and bad endings can be interchangeable. Personally, I strongly disagree with that way of thinking.

I also agree that a timeframe should have been present, I like the example given that shows the dates. Once again I never thought to do this but it is something I will implement in the future. I usually go for timeframes of 1 year as then it can be viewed as a realistic timeline for changes and each month can be a step into the process.

I felt like the timeline was realistic. Adding timestamps is a nice quality of life feature that would be a welcome addition in any future comics. Not everyone does it, but there isn't really any reason not to. I'm making a mental note to myself to try and remember to do that with my future projects (Ren'Py games).

Regarding the formatting, I come from a background of caption making a single image so it was natural for me to follow the same process of having a single picture followed by a wall of text. I find Melissa's style with caption bubbles hard to describe what characters are feeling and highlighting changes unless you're willing to make the caption comic go over 100+ pages to fill out every detail in multiple text bubbles. I don't want to make stories that are 100+ pages as it just isn't my thing. I might experiment with a speech bubble style comic in the future but it would be under 30 pages and I feel like it would serverly limit how much can be explored.

I can sympathize. I'm a very wordy writer, so speech bubbles do not really work for my writing style. I'm not sure that there is a perfect image size to text ratio. Opinions will probably always vary due to the personal preferences of individual fans. Same with the amount of pages in a comic. Some fans love the short comics, some fans love the lengthy comics. I'm lucky enough to enjoy all types.

I'm always looking to improve my writing and descriptiveness which is something I really pushed with 'From Twitch To OnlyFans', the writing in the last couple of pics were very extreme and descriptive in terms of what the character was feeling. I'm happy with the sex scenes as I believe they were descriptive enough to paint an imagination. I also wanted to explore and highlight more details such as the character not being used to High heels and becoming submissive and seeing how it would impact them.

I liked it! Job well done! I also personally understand that DeviantArt (and Patreon to a lesser degree) have restrictions about how much sexy content you can show, so I don't criticize artists who use those platforms and abide by their rules.

Overall, I agree that I definitely missed out on some key aspects that would have pushed the story futher and I will definitely try to do that next time.

Every creator has to deal with hindsight being 20/20. Being a solo creator is difficult. If you can, find a confidant. Someone who can act as a trusted sounding board.

Also if you have any idea's for a comic you'd like, please tell me as although I'm very busy in the next month, I will be exploring different idea's and would love to hear other ones from people who actually want to read this kind of content.

Be careful with offering to do free commissions. You can easily end up biting off more than you can chew. (Too many requests, fans with weird kinks, fans that are difficult to please, etc.)

 

[rebirth095]

Always fascinating to hear the behind the scenes. We often make decisions that make sense to us "in a vacuum" and then with hindsight or external feedback, you still know why you did it that way, but can also see why someone else came up with something different (sometimes better, sometimes worse ).

As LadyBoyJay mentioned, I hope this comes off as earnest criticism that is enthused at seeing you and your work improve, not a "takedown" just to be mean!

I originally wanted the chat to push the transformation and be one of the driving forces egging the main character on but I thought it would be too forced so I created Chloe the girlfriend to be the main driving force of the change instead. (I'm not a fan of forced transformations so I never ended up exploring the idea but it was the first idea that came to my mind, having chat donate and even possibly sending the main character clothing and objects through a PO Box).

So one of the things I picked up on was you trying to keep the story wholesome/non-forced, but yet there were scenes that felt contrary to that. For instance, Chloe molding the main character into a goth aesthetic due to her preferences. Or some of the dialogue where it felt more like Chloe was discovering her dominant side, and the main character seemed to just bend over to that (making the relationship feel a bit abusive at times). That said, I think it's entirely possible to do a wholesome dom-sub relationship. See the comic Sunstone, the manga Nana to Kaoru, or A Change in Our Marriage by Sara Desmarais. I think a key component in making those stories not feel abusive towards the Sub is getting into the headspace of the sub, and also establishing the trust between the two.

In this particular story, the main character defers a lot of the choices to the girlfriend. The MC says that they love the changes every step of the way, but the particulars of the submissiveness aren't really explored. I think some of that introspection would have made the power dynamic less at odds with the intended wholesomeness.

Regarding the formatting, I come from a background of caption making a single image so it was natural for me to follow the same process of having a single picture followed by a wall of text. I find Melissa's style with caption bubbles hard to describe what characters are feeling and highlighting changes unless you're willing to make the caption comic go over 100+ pages to fill out every detail in multiple text bubbles. I don't want to make stories that are 100+ pages as it just isn't my thing. I might experiment with a speech bubble style comic in the future but it would be under 30 pages and I feel like it would serverly limit how much can be explored.

At least for me personally, my formatting criticisms isn't about going to a more comic style, but regarding the current text. Basically, two main things for me:

1) When dialogue switches between characters, that should start a new line. Embedding dialogue in the middle of a paragraph just makes it that bit more difficult to read or keep track of who is saying what.

2) Font size is really small. I'd at least double the font size. Even if it makes the image bigger, it'd be more comfortable to read.

I also wanted to explore and highlight more details such as the character not being used to High heels and becoming submissive and seeing how it would impact them.

So one of my "pet peeves" is that when adding additional details, if you want those details to come off as authentic, then doing the research is fairly critical. For instance, a lot of TG/Feminization writers will make a comment about the main character being unused to heels, but speaking from personal experience, a lot of times the "right" details about the difficulties aren't there. Too much emphasis is made about balance, which frankly was one of the easiest things for me to have gotten used to. Or there's a generic line about discomfort, but lacks the description of what was uncomfortable. Or the biggest one, is just sizing. I have small feet, and even then, my feet are wide for most heels. As such, I often dealt with either my toes being pinched, the shoe being loose and risking it slipping off while walking, or the shoe just not looking as sexy on my legs as the pictures due to the size. Or conversely, when I found the perfect fitting set of heels, I basically had no discomfort walking in them for hours.

Same thing with makeup. Lots of writers might pay attention to the learning curve. Which is generally true. But one of my bigger issues was getting used to wearing the makeup for a longer period of time. That first time, I forgot I had it on, and instinctively wiped my cheek with the back of my hand... lol got foundation everywhere!

Also if you have any idea's for a comic you'd like, please tell me as although I'm very busy in the next month, I will be exploring different idea's and would love to hear other ones from people who actually want to read this kind of content.

The main thing for me is I want to see progression and escalation. To be honest, I'm not very interested in "transition"/"coming out" type stories as often it can almost feel like I'm intruding on something too personal. It's why most romance stories don't work for me. Or stories that are realistic to the point of feeling like its "too bleak, stopped caring". That's not to say I'm against the main character discovering/enjoying their femininity. Just that for fiction, I'd rather it be a bit more exploratory.

There's lots of IPs I love and outfits that I think are gorgeous and love/would love to wear/be feminized to wearing. Cosplaying to go to a convention, and going as some of these characters has been a fantasy of mine, and a story I've played around with.

Another one of the storiy ideas I had was agreeing to LARP as your RPG character, and so one/many of the party end up having to crossdress.

Just generally, both your longer stories and many of your captions have the feminized main character remain/get in a relationship with a woman, which is a fairly underserved niche that I'm glad to see someone adding to. It seems you're comfortable with dom/sub themes, so I think some forced but not cruel/degrading types of feminization stories would be great to see, but only if you're comfortable/interested in doing them.

 

[BigYikes123]

Thanks for the response, I have no clue how to use this site so I don't know how to quote thing where I can directly reply to specific sentences. Instead I'll just bullet point off what you've put in order.

1. Reading your feedback did hurt me a little but I'm in no way a professional writer and I know you're all giving constructive criticism so I can take it. As long as you got some enjoyment from my story then I don't deem it a failure.

2. I can see how Chloe's involvement with changing the character's looks contradicted it being a voluntary thing and how she could be seen as being abusive. But in this instance the main character loves her and trusts her completely. However, I agree that I should have perhaps established a trust. (Could you give examples on how you'd establish that personally so I have an idea on how to approach that in future comics. How would you also go about exploring certain submissive sides like you've stated?)

3. I really tried to start new lines of dialogue whenever Chloe and the MC were talking. In regards to 'New line' I immediately think new sentence. Is this what you meant? I will look into the font size, my renders are already at 2K resolution which is very big.

4. As I imagine everyone in this forum has done at some point is experiment, I have obviously done it but I never went further than some basic clothing (Obviously didn't want to explain it to my parents if I got caught - too embarrasing) so I don't have much hands on experience with feminine stuff. This makes it hard for me to relate the MC to people who had actually experimented/transitioned, etc. The best way I can improve is from what people like you tell me it's like, or if I do it myself but I'm not comfortable it as it'd kill me if anyone I knew found out.

5. I can see how transition stories can feel personal, I actually used to hate stories where a character would consider themselves trans and come out but for some reason I found myself gravitating towards it more when I wrote those 2 stories. Perhaps it made the most sense, or perhaps I'm simply projecting something deep within me. I still haven't worked myself out yet.

6. You mention 'IP'? I'm actually not sure what that is, sorry I'm not too good with simplifying stuff.

7. I don't mind dom/sub stuff, that's why I explored it in 'FromTwitchToOnlyFans'. It is also the perfect place for forced feminization to an extent as the dominant character would shine easily. But if I were to include forced feminization, it would be to an extent where the main character has the final say in how far they want to go. For example, they could be forced to crossdress but may end up liking it and want to explore further.

 

[rebirth095]

Thanks for the response, I have no clue how to use this site so I don't know how to quote thing where I can directly reply to specific sentences. Instead I'll just bullet point off what you've put in order.

So the "pro trick" is you can highlight a set of text you want to reply to. After a second or two, there should be a popup to quote/reply. If you click reply, it'll add that into the text box so you can organize your reply by quoting sections the way I did. Hope that makes sense!

As long as you got some enjoyment from my story then I don't deem it a failure.

As I said, there's far, far, far too few feminization stories where the main character stays with their girlfriend/wife. So I'm glad to see someone add more. And I know even well meaning criticism sucks to read. Having flaws pointed out SUCKS, so as before, hope you can believe/understand none of this is meant ot be a personal attack or trying to bring you down.

Could you give examples on how you'd establish that personally so I have an idea on how to approach that in future comics. How would you also go about exploring certain submissive sides like you've stated?

There's a few different ways depending on how you're characterizing the sub, and/or the relationship. One of the most straightforward is understanding what makes subs "tick".

Let's take a look at Page 9.

She had me pinned down as our lips met and I was hers to do with as she pleased...

"Those damn high heels", I thought as I was entranced by Chloe in the moment... The thought of crossdressing and being the submissive partner was something that I never knew would cross my mind, but now I was experiencing both first hand and I was loving it no matter how awkward and shameful I felt...

So, our main character is being put into a submissive position for the first time, and his first instinct is to resent the high heels. This gives the impression that had he been on more stable footing, he'd have fought back more. Secondly, he's more entranced with Chloe than contemplating his own submission. And then, while he's enjoying being intimate with Chloe, he's loving it despite it feeling awkward and shameful.

Now not all subs are the same. But, being in the position, if this was truly awakening a submissive part of himself, I'd expect the joy to be coming from the submission, not in spite of it. And there's at least two ways this can come about. Some subs do feel humiliated or ashamed, but that's what gets them off. They LIKE feeling shamed, not despite being shamed. Conversely, some subs enjoy submitting because giving up control actually feels safe. It's like the ultimate hug from a protective figure.

This is why, the immediate next paragraph stood out. Rather than safety, our main character begins to cry and Chloe kind of leads them towards being a girl.

Instead, what if we put that agency back into our main character's hands? Rather than just Chloe taking control, it should be the main character deciding to give up control. It's a subtle difference but really helps establish consent.

She pinned me down. I was hers to do with as she pleased. She lowered herself, meeting my lips with hers.

My heart skipped a beat. She'd never taken control like that before... taken the lead... Her tongue probed my mouth as her hand gripped the back of my neck, reminding me that I couldn't escape. I was her girl...

Had she always been this strong? My heart pounded in my chest. My penis stirred, but more than that there was an excitement I'd never felt before. Her other hand wrapped around my waist, gripping my ass. I could feel my nylon covered body slide against the fabric, cold air being slipping up my skirt. Every sensation reminding me, I was her girl...

She broke the kiss, raising herself and looking into my eyes. So hungry, yet so loving. I took a long breath, shuddering. I turned away bashfully, the intensity of her gaze making me feel that much more submissive. She wanted to go further...

"Why'd you stop?" I asked.

"So you want me to keep going?"

"Yes," I barely whispered. I was hesitant, but as the word left my lips I knew it to be true. A mischievous smile was on her face.

"Tell me what you want," She said, smugly. I pouted. I knew I was about to cross a line, but...

I leaned forward, whispering into her ear.

"Make me your girl..."

Needing no further instruction, Chloe lowered herself again, kissing my neck as her hands roamed over my body, unzipping the back of my dress. She crawled backward, her mouth tracing its way down my neck and on my chest, sucking on my nipple. Seeing my long hair framing my vision, the smell of the perfume I'd worn. Seeing the maid outfit all around me, all I could imagine was what would this look like if I had breasts...

You can see how I focused more on how the main character is feeling. I let the act of submission be "romanticized", and gave the main character opportunity to express what is causing those feelings of submissiveness, and why this is leading them to want to be a girl.

If this was for a different sort of character. For instance, like in a "sissification" story, where there's some crossover with masochistic tendencies, I would show off the pleasure they're getting from the humiliation.

I really tried to start new lines of dialogue whenever Chloe and the MC were talking. In regards to 'New line' I immediately think new sentence. Is this what you meant? I will look into the font size, my renders are already at 2K resolution which is very big.

Not exactly a new sentence. The sentence ends when it hits ending punctuation. See my example above, where every time the dialogue switches to the other speaker, I start a new line/paragraph. Or to be more explicit:

In page 9

"Is everything okay?" She asked as she looked at me. I could feel my emotions once again trying to take hold. There was so much bottled up inside of me wanting to be let out. A mixture of fear and confusion, an uncertainty of what I truly wanted... I could feel tears beginning to swell once more and I wasn't sure why... "I'm scared.. because I don't know what's going on with me.. I don't know if this is a phase... or if I'm transgender or something.." I said, trying my best to keep my composure... Chloe could tell I was about to burst so she hugged me tightly... "No matter who you choose to be, I'll still love you," She said as she wiped away the tears running down my cheeks..."

I'd format as:

"Is everything okay?" She asked as she looked at me. I could feel my emotions once again trying to take hold. There was so much bottled up inside of me wanting to be let out. A mixture of fear and confusion, an uncertainty of what I truly wanted. I could feel tears beginning to swell once more and I wasn't sure why...

"I'm scared.. because I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know if this is a phase... or if I'm transgender or something..." I said, trying my best to keep my composure. Chloe could tell I was about to burst so she hugged me tightly.

"No matter who you choose to be, I'll still love you," she said as she wiped away the tears running down my cheeks.

It makes it easier to read, and less likely to confuse who is saying what, as the new line/paragraph communicates that the person speaking has changed. While we're talking about formatting and grammar, I've noticed there's quite a lot of ellipsis usage (the ...). Ellipsis serve to signify trailing off, pausing, or ommiting words. They're fine to use: you'll notice I used them in my example write up. But overuse can render them less effective. It's like if how some writers want to have a scene read to be more exciting so they ended each sentence with an exclaimation point. It ends up diluting the punctuations effectiveness.

This makes it hard for me to relate the MC to people who had actually experimented/transitioned, etc. The best way I can improve is from what people like you tell me it's like, or if I do it myself but I'm not comfortable it as it'd kill me if anyone I knew found out.

Totally understand, and totally sympathize. Feel free to ask if there's something you're curious about.

You mention 'IP'? I'm actually not sure what that is, sorry I'm not too good with simplifying stuff.

In this context, I'm using IP (intellectual property) to refer to copyrighted properties. So when I was saying I love many IPs, I'm referring to the idea that there's many brands/series I'm a huge fan of and loads of outfits from those series I think are cute/sexy. Zatanna from DC comics, Mercy from Overwatch, the KDA outfits in League of Legends... etc...

Anyway, hope some of this is helpful in some way!

 

[BigYikes123]

You can see how I focused more on how the main character is feeling. I let the act of submission be "romanticized", and gave the main character opportunity to express what is causing those feelings of submissiveness, and why this is leading them to want to be a girl.

I think what you've put here is amazing and really puts into perspective of what I missed. Sadly I never thought to do this because I've never experienced what it's like first hand as these thoughts don't come naturally to me. Having you explain this is very helpful as it shows how I can structure and explore for another scenario that encorperates this. If you are willing to share your personal experiences about femininity in a personal message to me, I would love to know more as my experience stops with clothing.

It makes it easier to read, and less likely to confuse who is saying what, as the new line/paragraph communicates that the person speaking has changed. While we're talking about formatting and grammar, I've noticed there's quite a lot of ellipsis usage (the ...). Ellipsis serve to signify trailing off, pausing, or ommiting words. They're fine to use: you'll notice I used them in my example write up. But overuse can render them less effective. It's like if how some writers want to have a scene read to be more exciting so they ended each sentence with an exclaimation point. It ends up diluting the punctuations effectiveness.

I like how you formatted my work as an example. I now see what you mean and I agree its better. The only problem is that I'd run out of space if I wanted to write as much as I do. So I will need to look into how to do as you've stated while maintaining the amount I can write.

In this context, I'm using IP (intellectual property) to refer to copyrighted properties. So when I was saying I love many IPs, I'm referring to the idea that there's many brands/series I'm a huge fan of and loads of outfits from those series I think are cute/sexy. Zatanna from DC comics, Mercy from Overwatch, the KDA outfits in League of Legends... etc...

I really did want to explore more costumes with 'FromTwitchToOnlyFans' but couldn't find anything that good unfortunately. I'd also limited myself to 30 pictures and found it hard to tell the story if I was comitting 2 or 3 of them to showing off the costumes.