CassieBare

Lead Developer of Blue Swallow
Game Developer
Jan 25, 2020
519
1,268
Hey so I've been enjoying this game for the couple hours I've been playing now, but I've just gotten to taking a gap year in Europe and the story really has a hard time with the friend you meet.

At first it was all good, but then it started getting the pronouns wrong every once in a while and then suddenly it went from a girl to a penis and precum and now there's even an error in the script apparently. And then from what I can see skimming ahead it just returns to it being a girl again.

Really confused here lol, don't even remember the gender of the friend being a question (though I suppose it might have been a hidden check based on previous choices, given that's sort of the vibe this game has going for it)

View attachment 3123412
Bad code. Need to fix it. I'm sorry!
 

danman99

Newbie
Nov 1, 2018
29
13
is ethnicity showing up as Asian in profile despite both parents being white a placeholder or a bug? Also I don' t have any options showing up after the passage where ava spreads rumours about Claire being a lesbian when choosing to focus on the district championship.
 
Last edited:
May 2, 2022
52
58
is ethnicity showing up as Asian in profile despite both parents being white a placeholder or a bug? Also I don' t have any options showing up after the passage where ava spreads rumours about Claire being a lesbian when choosing to focus on the district championship.
danman99 - any chances you had a save game at this location?
 

Smellfire

Member
Sep 4, 2019
244
356
It's no: "The scent and smoke and sweat of a casino are nauseating at three in the morning. Then the soul-erosion produced by high gambling — a compost of greed and fear and nervous tension — becomes unbearable and the senses awake and revolt from it."

This story begins....differently.
Ok. Your goofy proof reader obviously hasn't done the first page. Its grammatically all over the place. It should read something like this :

The scent, smoke and sweat of the casino are (is or was) nauseating at three in the morning. The soul-erosion (sounds to much like soil erosion) produced by elite, high roller gambling, a compost (back to soil again) (could try "a heady mix") of fear, greed and nervous tension. They awakened the senses in unbearable waves of revolt. ("It" is usually singular)

Whole thing seems abit of an extreme reaction to just going to a gambling den to be honest.

After that seems fine mostly, with a few spelling mistakes and a couple of red code errors.
 
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chaos1123

Newbie
Nov 17, 2017
72
105
I know that not everyone has read every book under the sun, but yeah. Seeing someone critique the opening not realizing it's Mr. Fleming's work did give me a little chuckle as well.
 

Sewyoba

Member
Jul 22, 2018
404
330
Edit: Also, even when I chose that both parents were obviously Caucasian, with the father being Caucasian with black hair, it ends up making Claire a Latina, so another bug there.
So, they were both European Spanish, but by US standards their child born in US is Latina
 

Samuel Hidayat

Well-Known Member
May 16, 2019
1,917
2,517
Ok. Your goofy proof reader obviously hasn't done the first page. Its grammatically all over the place. It should read something like this :

The scent, smoke and sweat of the casino are (is or was) nauseating at three in the morning. The soul-erosion (sounds to much like soil erosion) produced by elite, high roller gambling, a compost (back to soil again) (could try "a heady mix") of fear, greed and nervous tension. They awakened the senses in unbearable waves of revolt. ("It" is usually singular)

Whole thing seems abit of an extreme reaction to just going to a gambling den to be honest.

After that seems fine mostly, with a few spelling mistakes and a couple of red code errors.
Ignoring the line being a direct quote from a classic novel, this game isn't an academic text. Purposeful grammatical mistakes—if done right—can enhance the setting of a scene. Not to mention the entire game is from MC's PoV who's obviously not a serious academia.

Remember, spoken English is different than written English.
 
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Gibberish666

Member
Mar 17, 2019
437
826
So, actual feedback, not simple commentary or jokes (apparently people can't recognize sarcasm even when it's staring back at them), but my opinion:

Attributes and skills are standard for games like this. One thing to be careful with is over-engineering. Usually, having fewer attributes and skills is better than more. It's easier for the developer to make the game, and easier for the player to understand the game. Looking at the list of these traits, I feel like some of them could be condensed.
Easy, Suggestible, Risky, Stability and Excitable all seem to be more niche components to either confidence or self-esteem. I can see how and why each of those pairs can be distinguished, but some of the differences seem negligible. If you describe someone as easy, suggestible, a risk-taker, unstable, or excitable, it all points to the the idea of someone who struggles to say "no," for w/e reason; maybe their comprehension of "danger" is arrested, their gullible, or they're a people-pleaser. Then Learning and Investigation could be bundled into Smarts, then Wiles and Deception and Performance could all be described as Influence.
But I'm sure the devs have their reasons, and it might be too late anyways.

Maybe it hasn't been added yet, but I was expecting personality profiling that updated as traits and skills increase/decrease, changing the flavor of the text. So the dossier might say something like, "Agent Claire possesses self-destructive tendencies. There is little risk of her exposing herself as an agent, but there may be a notable risk she will become absorbed by the stress of the mission. Assessment advises regular check-ins whenever possible."
There is a game with some comparable components here on F95, The Fixer. Might be worth looking at for some inspiration?
If there is going to be any valuable information on the front page, there should be a tab to navigate back to it.

I am not fond of cycling through choices, especially in the earlier parts of prologue. There are a handful of dropboxes, which is more acceptable. But then by the time we get highschool and college everything becomes multiple choice button. There is no reason to have two or three different multiple choice methods. The means of selecting choices needs to be universalized.
 

Sammie

Member
Sep 8, 2017
108
123
So, actual feedback, not simple commentary or jokes (apparently people can't recognize sarcasm even when it's staring back at them), but my opinion:

Attributes and skills are standard for games like this. One thing to be careful with is over-engineering. Usually, having fewer attributes and skills is better than more. It's easier for the developer to make the game, and easier for the player to understand the game. Looking at the list of these traits, I feel like some of them could be condensed.
Easy, Suggestible, Risky, Stability and Excitable all seem to be more niche components to either confidence or self-esteem. I can see how and why each of those pairs can be distinguished, but some of the differences seem negligible. If you describe someone as easy, suggestible, a risk-taker, unstable, or excitable, it all points to the the idea of someone who struggles to say "no," for w/e reason; maybe their comprehension of "danger" is arrested, their gullible, or they're a people-pleaser. Then Learning and Investigation could be bundled into Smarts, then Wiles and Deception and Performance could all be described as Influence.
But I'm sure the devs have their reasons, and it might be too late anyways.

Maybe it hasn't been added yet, but I was expecting personality profiling that updated as traits and skills increase/decrease, changing the flavor of the text. So the dossier might say something like, "Agent Claire possesses self-destructive tendencies. There is little risk of her exposing herself as an agent, but there may be a notable risk she will become absorbed by the stress of the mission. Assessment advises regular check-ins whenever possible."
There is a game with some comparable components here on F95, The Fixer. Might be worth looking at for some inspiration?
If there is going to be any valuable information on the front page, there should be a tab to navigate back to it.

I am not fond of cycling through choices, especially in the earlier parts of prologue. There are a handful of dropboxes, which is more acceptable. But then by the time we get highschool and college everything becomes multiple choice button. There is no reason to have two or three different multiple choice methods. The means of selecting choices needs to be universalized.
I wonder if it’s a coding thing. I noticed in the cycling choices the choices change depending on the stats. Like you might not see all the choices. That’s true with the multiple choice actions, but those are usually decisions the character makes.

the drop downs are when there is a list that never changes
 

vicaddict

Member
Sep 29, 2019
203
420
That might be true, but I have to admit that my OCD also kicks in, when seeing multiple variants of one thing. Then again, it barely happens and if that is the biggest point of critique we're off to a good start :D
 
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Apr 12, 2022
18
100
Ok. Your goofy proof reader obviously hasn't done the first page. Its grammatically all over the place. It should read something like this :

The scent, smoke and sweat of the casino are (is or was) nauseating at three in the morning. The soul-erosion (sounds to much like soil erosion) produced by elite, high roller gambling, a compost (back to soil again) (could try "a heady mix") of fear, greed and nervous tension. They awakened the senses in unbearable waves of revolt. ("It" is usually singular)

Whole thing seems abit of an extreme reaction to just going to a gambling den to be honest.

After that seems fine mostly, with a few spelling mistakes and a couple of red code errors.
The goof here. I appreciate any and all feedback as it regards to proofing the game. It's a difficult balance for quoting within the game. Additionally as mentioned by Samu Al Hydit, "Remember, spoken English is different than written English," this is a constant battle we face within the writing of the game. We won't always get it the best. Things also get missed or read wrong despite our best efforts. Please keep these coming so we can better review and fix the game for all. We appreciate each and everyone of you for playing, commenting, and seeking resolution so the game we want will be the best for your enjoyment.
 
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quiboune

Well-Known Member
Sep 2, 2018
1,141
1,216
Hm, this game confuses me everytime I try it. I chose options to make a shy loner that is interested in girls - and every time at college, she makes out with random dudes? Even though she has a girlfriend. x.x
The Dev has a creative understanding of human sexuality. Claire can't be exclusively hetero/homosexual, she is bisexual, all you can choose is which she prefers.
 
3.80 star(s) 39 Votes