Braincell killing games

[Diconica]

This post was inspired by a game on here. I won't list the specific game. I've learned from the past that doing so will result in someone taking the post down saying it should just be included as a post in that games thread.

The game that inspired the thread the authors Used the concept that having sex with someone who has a strong immune system would provide protection to others if they have sex with them. He clearly has ZERO understanding of human immune system. That or just didn't give a rats ass about it making the least amount of sense.

So the purpose of this thread is to list and make fun of the games with the stupidest concepts. So dumb you are in risk of killing brain cells with the stupidity the author imbued in them.
You can look at it as the hall of shame. Games that authors should be ashamed they bother making.

 

[rk-47]

you really gonna hate on a bunch of games due to their hyper-unrealistic properties? I for one find stupid wacko mechanics/characters like that a breath of fresh air and pretty humourous is done correctly

 

[Diconica]

you really gonna hate on a bunch of games due to their hyper-unrealistic properties? I for one find stupid wacko mechanics/characters like that a breath of fresh air and pretty humourous is done correctly

We aren't talking about mechanics or characters.
We are talking about a fundamental concept of the games plot system that is a massive plot-hole in itself.

There are things you can do that are unrealistic. An example would be adding magic to a game.
Even then the magic you add to the game has to have some sort of set of rules that governs it. Otherwise you would have nothing but unpredictable results and no one would use it.

Take the idea the girl giving a blow job is going to boost the other person's immune system. Well she is getting fluid from him and at most he is getting her saliva on his dick. Let's pretend that her saliva is special and will effect him through the dermis layer.
If that was the case she has no need to give blow jobs or sex she could just walk around spitting on everyone!

In short there is a massive plot-hole because the author didn't care about it make any sense at all.

That's different from a character who makes irrational choices or a mechanic that catches you in an unexpected way.

This is just bad story telling or design from the very basis of the story.

 

[Meaning Less]

I'm pretty sure most people already consider porn games as the braindead cousin of games.

They aren't designed for your brain in the first place, but for your dick.

 

[Diconica]

I'm pretty sure most people already consider porn games as the braindead cousin of games.

They aren't designed for your brain in the first place, but for your dick.

I half way agree with that.
If it was just dick there would be no need for the story. We could just look at image sites or pornvideos.
Even if you say its the anime / hentai they have those in videos also.

The point is porn games exist for 2 reasons game play and story.
Otherwise you could use the options I pointed to above.

 

[GreenGobbo]

This post was inspired by a game on here. I won't list the specific game. I've learned from the past that doing so will result in someone taking the post down saying it should just be included as a post in that games thread.

The game that inspired the thread the authors Used the concept that having sex with someone who has a strong immune system would provide protection to others if they have sex with them. He clearly has ZERO understanding of human immune system. That or just didn't give a rats ass about it making the least amount of sense.

So the purpose of this thread is to list and make fun of the games with the stupidest concepts. So dumb you are in risk of killing brain cells with the stupidity the author imbued in them.
You can look at it as the hall of shame. Games that authors should be ashamed they bother making.

I *still* wanna know the specifics of that toilet transformation before I download it.
Super important for scientific reasons.

 

[fyl3toys]

They aren't designed for your brain in the first place, but for your dick.

I'm designing my game for elbows. I'm 100% certain elbow stimulation is going to be the next big thing. Mark my words.

 

[Jaike]

The game that inspired the thread the authors Used the concept that having sex with someone who has a strong immune system would provide protection to others if they have sex with them. He clearly has ZERO understanding of human immune system. That or just didn't give a rats ass about it making the least amount of sense.

That wouldn't bother me if the dev was self-aware and embedded it well in the universe. But if it's just a weirdo with crackhead opinions, yes I can see how that can be unimmersive.

Japanese corruption devs often implement rape in a retarded way and as an important plot element, without any realism or nuance. I avoid that shit now and I get it's about fetishising "female weakness", but it made me wonder if those retard-in-Lecherville games are actually developed by and for retards...

 

[Sphere42]

Take the idea the girl giving a blow job is going to boost the other person's immune system. Well she is getting fluid from him and at most he is getting her saliva on his dick. Let's pretend that her saliva is special and will effect him through the dermis layer.
If that was the case she has no need to give blow jobs or sex she could just walk around spitting on everyone!

Honestly the idea of strengthening the reaction through physical activity and increased blood flow, then using that as a convenient excuse in-universe to have lots of sex seems pretty reasonable to me as far as fantasy biology goes. I mean you're competing with Detective Conan's shrinking poison, Resident Evil's giant perpetual motion bioweapons and little Timmy's leg-sized irresistibly hypnotic cock here.
Or if that explanation is only an in-universe theory it's again pretty reasonable for how our modern world would react if the explicitly magical sex powers we see in other porn games suddenly came into existence.

For me the real braincell killers are a) bad grammar in text-focused games: if it's a visual novel where most of the "interactivity" lies in reading dialogue options then at least learn that "I could of done that" and "you're dress is pretty" aren't correct before you publish that trash. And b) games which can't keep their internal consistency straight no matter how "realistic" or "ridiculous" the premise might be. Sticking with your example if spit-swapping or jacking off into someone's mouth while they do a regular workout doesn't work then the author better have an elaborate bioengineering project or a reality-warping succubus queen lined up for the backstory. Probably both.

I mean if we're just looking for completely unrealistic events or plot points then just open any 20-page doujin, chances are you'll find at least 3.

 

[Diconica]

Honestly the idea of strengthening the reaction through physical activity and increased blood flow, then using that as a convenient excuse in-universe to have lots of sex seems pretty reasonable to me as far as fantasy biology goes. I mean you're competing with Detective Conan's shrinking poison, Resident Evil's giant perpetual motion bioweapons and little Timmy's leg-sized irresistibly hypnotic cock here.
Or if that explanation is only an in-universe theory it's again pretty reasonable for how our modern world would react if the explicitly magical sex powers we see in other porn games suddenly came into existence.

Depends on what you consider pretty reasonable or how you justify what you are calling reasonable.
Not sure if RE has been made into a game on here but yea it has huge plot holes. About the only appeal the movie has to me was it had some decent action in it. But otherwise they are snooze fest for me. I mean that literally fell asleep watching it.

While I never watched case closed I have heard about. I'd say if it was a game it also can be added to the list. However, change it from a pill to magic and then you have a potential explanation. But you could also use the BS of advanced Tech such as nano-tech is in the pill that could be used as an explanation but it wouldn't be instant change the way it is. I'm assuming he remains fixed in the state thus is a single incident vs the entire story is based on it.

For me the real braincell killers are a) bad grammar in text-focused games: if it's a visual novel where most of the "interactivity" lies in reading dialogue options then at least learn that "I could of done that" and "you're dress is pretty" aren't correct before you publish that trash. And b) games which can't keep their internal consistency straight no matter how "realistic" or "ridiculous" the premise might be. Sticking with your example if spit-swapping or jacking off into someone's mouth while they do a regular workout doesn't work then the author better have an elaborate bioengineering project or a reality-warping succubus queen lined up for the backstory. Probably both.

I mean if we're just looking for completely unrealistic events or plot points then just open any 20-page doujin, chances are you'll find at least 3.

Most the bad grammar is because the game is written in another language an English is the person's second language.
I tend to get a chuckle out of every-time I see, "have a sit" rather than "have a seat". That reminds me of all the stolen seat chokes regarding the phrase "take a seat" and "have a seat".

Yea, there is no fixing that story. Hell even if you made her some sort of vampire who's bite spread a cure it wouldn't work.
You really want a vampire digging her fangs into your cock. Talking about a cure that may be worse than the ailment. Even if you brought it to some sort of rational thing then she could bite you on the arm and be just as effective.

The immune system is just a pure shit excuse.

If there was some sort of contagion that caused stress and men's heads to explode if they didn't get relief. Then lowering stress by having sex might be a reasonable excuse. Sex can actually help lower stress. Then you could argue also that her having a special immune system is needed to prevent "public toilet women" from spreading the disease and STDs.

That however isn't a fix it's a rewrite.

 

[desmosome]

We aren't talking about mechanics or characters.
We are talking about a fundamental concept of the games plot system that is a massive plot-hole in itself.

You mean basically every single game where 10/10 hotties fall in line for some mundane simp? Where there are conveniently no other males around?

 

[Diconica]

You mean basically every single game where 10/10 hotties fall in line for some mundane simp? Where there are conveniently no other males around?

10/10 hotties falling for mundane simps. Well just call that marketing appealing to the audience who plays the game.
But in RL I've seen plenty of hot women with guys who don't match up. It usually comes down to personality and how long they have known each other and what they went through together.

Are their no other men in the story or are they just not part of the story the way you think they should be.
Most guys who play harem games are strait and not into stuff like NTR or boring melodrama (of fighting for a woman who might choose to be unfaithful)or wanting to see other men.
In short they have no interest in guys trying to dick their harem women. Also that would most likely create a plot-hole if a harem female had an interest in another man.
Which is why most other men in such games are store keeps, villains, rulers / quest givers...

Melodrama most of us on here aren't the type interested in watching crap like general hospital or days of our lives. If the bitch has even the slightest notion she might be interested in someone else and I see it she's gone. I'm not wasting my fucking time chasing after someone who isn't sure about what she actually wants. If she doesn't like what I got to offer the door is always open for her to GTFO. So why the fuck would I want a game with that type of bullshit in it. You talk about being a simp above. But who's more of a simp the guy who's going to try and fight for a bitch that might be unfaithful. The only fighting my ass is going to do is if the fucktard gets the women in my life upset with him annoying them. They can easily tell him to fuck off themselves. If he can't take a hint or gets violent that's when I break something of his.

Who's more of a simp the guy who treats his women decent or the guy who is wanting to forgive their transgression of considering stepping out or actually doing so.

That said when it comes to adult games there is often a lot wrong with them.
That was part of the point of this post. It's a chance to point out the failings of the worst of the worst make a bit of fun at them.
Maybe, some future developer will read it and say hell I don't want to be on that list.
Yea, right we could only wish.

 

[Meaning Less]

You mean basically every single game where 10/10 hotties fall in line for some mundane simp? Where there are conveniently no other males around?

I mean at least some devs put some effort into it, like A Zombie's Life where the mc was the only male immune to a virus that transformed every other male into a zombie, and the reason why is a spoiler revealed later.
Or Milfcreek where you move to a village that strangely only milfs reside for some reason, and that is also part of the story.

If only more games at least tried coming up with an excuse for it people wouldn't be so distracted by the base premise.

 

[Creiz]

This post was inspired by a game on here. I won't list the specific game. I've learned from the past that doing so will result in someone taking the post down saying it should just be included as a post in that games thread.

I know exactly what the game is. "Killing braincells" is putting it lightly.

you really gonna hate on a bunch of games due to their hyper-unrealistic properties? I for one find stupid wacko mechanics/characters like that a breath of fresh air and pretty humourous is done correctly

Key sentence: If Done Correctly.

But that game? Well... No, actually, let's just stay polite.

10/10 hotties falling for mundane simps. Well just call that marketing appealing to the audience who plays the game.
But in RL I've seen plenty of hot women with guys who don't match up. It usually comes down to personality and how long they have known each other and what they went through together.

And that's irks me. If I'm the audience, why do I accept the godforsaken asshat making that game portraying who I am "supposed to be" as a pathetic beta cuck incel, just like him?

I'd have thought people would have fantasies of being like, I don't know, James Bond or Shaft or Danny Ocean, you know? Manly men that are bad ass and icons, who make sense having so much pussy dropping on them.

Not being a goddamn cigarette like Shinji or Rito, come on. I really don't want to kink shame and shit, but those who enjoy playing as characters like these are making it hard as fuck something actually pretty damn fierce.

Are their no other men in the story or are they just not part of the story the way you think they should be.
Most guys who play harem games are strait and not into stuff like NTR or boring melodrama (of fighting for a woman who might choose to be unfaithful)or wanting to see other men.
In short they have no interest in guys trying to dick their harem women. Also that would most likely create a plot-hole if a harem female had an interest in another man.
Which is why most other men in such games are store keeps, villains, rulers / quest givers...

Melodrama most of us on here aren't the type interested in watching crap like general hospital or days of our lives. If the bitch has even the slightest notion she might be interested in someone else and I see it she's gone. I'm not wasting my fucking time chasing after someone who isn't sure about what she actually wants. If she doesn't like what I got to offer the door is always open for her to GTFO. So why the fuck would I want a game with that type of bullshit in it. You talk about being a simp above. But who's more of a simp the guy who's going to try and fight for a bitch that might be unfaithful. The only fighting my ass is going to do is if the fucktard gets the women in my life upset with him annoying them. They can easily tell him to fuck off themselves. If he can't take a hint or gets violent that's when I break something of his.

Who's more of a simp the guy who treats his women decent or the guy who is wanting to forgive their transgression of considering stepping out or actually doing so.

That said when it comes to adult games there is often a lot wrong with them.
That was part of the point of this post. It's a chance to point out the failings of the worst of the worst make a bit of fun at them.
Maybe, some future developer will read it and say hell I don't want to be on that list.
Yea, right we could only wish.

We're still talking japanese games here, right? "If she doesn't like what I have to offer" stop right there, mate. Those betas have nothing to offer. That's why those harems are power fantasies and the women are given to you on a silver platter. Because anyone, except fubs and rapists, do have something to offer more than you do.

And honestly? I find this fucking insulting. It's like saying "Yeeeeah, no, you're so useless we actually have to pull reasons out of our asses to make you get some poon" like I can't seduce women by myself and shit.

Having another guy there showing interest is a good thing imo because it gives me a challenge, the woman will come to me if I am the better man. And if I'm forced to play as the pathetic beta? Well, I actually prefer the woman to go with the other guy instead of suffering seeing a fucking dweeb getting undeserved ass.

Who's more of a simp? The ones who forgives. There's nothing wrong about fighting and losing. You learn from the process and that makes you better.

Agree with you on the rest, though.

I mean at least some devs put some effort into it, like A Zombie's Life where the mc was the only male immune to a virus that transformed every other male into a zombie, and the reason why is a spoiler revealed later.
Or Milfcreek where you move to a village that strangely only milfs reside for some reason, and that is also part of the story.

Those don't count, bro. They're "Western Style Porn" games. Not hentai games. Western Style generally have the stories and fetishes on point, but the art suffers. Hentai is contrary. Nonsensical plots made by woman hating incels but top-notch art.

Key word: Generally.

 

[Meaning Less]

Those don't count, bro. They're "Western Style Porn" games. Not hentai games. Western Style generally have the stories and fetishes on point, but the art suffers. Hentai is contrary. Nonsensical plots made by woman hating incels but top-notch art.

Funny, because to me it is the opposite, I don't have this issue with western/eastern cartoons, because unrealistic 2D art helps setting the tone, you are expecting something silly/not serious by default.

But it is on "realistic" 3D stuff and real porn that things become harder to swallow imo, especially when a dev is writing without an ounce of comedy or sarcasm. And yet I'm somehow to believe that the boring/unappealing mc is a pussy magnet...

 

[Creiz]

Funny, because to me it is the opposite, I don't have this issue with western/eastern cartoons, because unrealistic 2D art helps setting the tone, you are expecting something silly/not serious by default.

But it is on "realistic" 3D stuff and real porn that things become harder to swallow imo, especially when a dev is writing without an ounce of comedy or sarcasm. And yet I'm somehow to believe that the boring/unappealing mc is a pussy magnet...

Which is why i said "Generally" lmao

I totally gotcha, though. You're not wrong.

 

[Sphere42]

Not sure if RE has been made into a game on here but yea it has huge plot holes. About the only appeal the movie has to me was it had some decent action in it. But otherwise they are snooze fest for me. I mean that literally fell asleep watching it.

I meant the entire series of non-pornographic games. Pretty sure I've seen at least one game featuring Alcina aka "giant vampire mommy" on here too. And while the porn parody almost certainly ignores it no she's not really a vampire. She's infected with a bug-like brain/spine parasite itself derived from an ancient (semi-?)sapient black mold hivemind, the parasite being discovered or created some time in the early 1900s IIRC, and that somehow made her grow to twice? normal human height, dependent on human blood to survive, and also able to transform into a giant bat-bug-dragon when agitated. Her comrade/rival Heisenberg has a similar parasite and is basically Magneto, creating a kaiju body out of levitating scrap metal for his boss fight.

While I never watched case closed I have heard about. I'd say if it was a game it also can be added to the list. However, change it from a pill to magic and then you have a potential explanation. But you could also use the BS of advanced Tech such as nano-tech is in the pill that could be used as an explanation but it wouldn't be instant change the way it is. I'm assuming he remains fixed in the state thus is a single incident vs the entire story is based on it.

The shrinking is the inciting incident for the entire story, with him (in kid form) moving in with his school sweetheart and her bumbling detective dad shortly afterwards. Oh right, it's an episodic detective series coupled with a long-running star-crossed romance so no, magic or nanotech of that level won't work unless you want to explain how it affects high-profile murder cases and the mafia. There's at least one other person who got turned into a kid, and they do derive a temporary antidote later which allows both to transform back into adults temporarily.

The key point with both of these is that they're (mostly) consistent. In Resident Evil the world simply contains a lot of very elaborate and oddly specific parasitic organisms, and biotech has outpaced most other branches of technology as a result of this. It would never work IRL but you can understand the rules by which this fictional world plays and can rely on them to not suddenly get invaded through a stargate or ride flying broomsticks. Conan does get a bunch of Bond gadgets but tends to be "realistic" otherwise, the "how" and "why" of the mafia having that shrinking poison is one of the central mysteries. Both franchises completely ignore conservation of mass and energy when it comes to their transformations.

A proper beta simp harem works exactly the same: completely unrealistic for our world but in this world a spineless, featureless scrawny teen somehow is the very definition of hotness. Or maybe it's just that one dude. A writing failure in this context would be what you often see in shoddy RPGM games where you can bang a girl senseless, wake her up still naked and covered in your cum for a passionate make-out session, then walk 2 steps from your lovebed and trigger the "eep he saw my exposed nipple" event. Fictional worlds don't need to play by our rules, but they need to abide theirs.

And since RL quantum physics means we need to include fudging probabilities as "unrealistic" I challenge you to find a porn game which isn't.

 

[anne O'nymous]

So the purpose of this thread is to list and make fun of the games with the stupidest concepts. So dumb you are in risk of killing brain cells with the stupidity the author imbued in them.
You can look at it as the hall of shame. Games that authors should be ashamed they bother making.

Why only adult games ? There's so many "regular games" that have the same kind of problems. And anyway, why limits to games ? As if movies weren't also to blame, and books were always 100% accurate.
By example, I remember a movie where the whole pitch was to use a plane, at high speed and high altitude, to reverse the gulf stream. I wonder how many brain cells I lost by just reading this said pitch.

It happen that authors aren't all multidisciplinary specialists and... well, it's absolutely not surprising. But it also happen that, as long as it's handle correctly, it doesn't matter this much. I guess that, globally, we all just assume the story to take place in an alternate universe where it's possible.

 

[Diconica]

And that's irks me. If I'm the audience, why do I accept the godforsaken asshat making that game portraying who I am "supposed to be" as a pathetic beta cuck incel, just like him?

I'd have thought people would have fantasies of being like, I don't know, James Bond or Shaft or Danny Ocean, you know? Manly men that are bad ass and icons, who make sense having so much pussy dropping on them.

Not being a goddamn cigarette like Shinji or Rito, come on. I really don't want to kink shame and shit, but those who enjoy playing as characters like these are making it hard as fuck something actually pretty damn fierce.

Part of the problem is the cultural difference in targeted audience and what is expect out of people in those societies. Remember one of them believes the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.
So to that society the people tend to want to see a character more like themselves telling them they can win. That it can happen to them also.

It would be nice if you could customize the MC to act and look more like you want. That way a person who wants the character to resemble them can do that and the guy who wants 007 for the character can have that.
It would require some work though. Art variants for MC, dialog and story differences. The two types of people will often handle the same situation very differently. What is an option for one of them may not even be considered one for the other.

We're still talking japanese games here, right? "If she doesn't like what I have to offer" stop right there, mate. Those betas have nothing to offer. That's why those harems are power fantasies and the women are given to you on a silver platter. Because anyone, except fubs and rapists, do have something to offer more than you do.

I think there is a bigger reason the women are given to you easily. Think about the people writing these games. Low end studios which work their staff like nuts. They haven't time to date hell they probably haven't had pussy since pussy had them. I seriously would not be surprised most japanese adult game developers are virgins or their primary experience is prostitutes. There may be some exceptions but not many.

I've never really found other men as being competition when it came to my women. It was more like they were just annoyances that bug the women which end up in them either getting the hint by them being told to sod off or me breaking a bone or more to get the point across.

And honestly? I find this fucking insulting. It's like saying "Yeeeeah, no, you're so useless we actually have to pull reasons out of our asses to make you get some poon" like I can't seduce women by myself and shit.

Having another guy there showing interest is a good thing imo because it gives me a challenge, the woman will come to me if I am the better man. And if I'm forced to play as the pathetic beta? Well, I actually prefer the woman to go with the other guy instead of suffering seeing a fucking dweeb getting undeserved ass.

Who's more of a simp? The ones who forgives. There's nothing wrong about fighting and losing. You learn from the process and that makes you better.

I've never fought over a girl/woman. If the girl is sitting their waiting to base her decision on who wins. She isn't committed or loyal to you. Women like that aren't worth my time. I can find a hell of a lot better women than one like that any day of the week.

I'll fight to rescue/protect a woman with no hesitation. But women you have to fight over are a waste of your time.
I like women who know where they want to be, respect me and value me as I do them.
Trust and loyalty are mandatory. It's all about integrity and personality.

 

[BlasterChief]

Why only adult games ? There's so many "regular games" that have the same kind of problems. And anyway, why limits to games ? As if movies weren't also to blame, and books were always 100% accurate.

Thank you! That'S exactly what I thought. Most people don't understand why I'm not a fan of Hollywood movies and prefer to read hard sci-fi instead. But when you studied history, are a space geek and have a technical background on top of that the bar for the suspension of disbelieve is set reallly, really high. You start to notice that most screen-plays are written by people who really don't know fuck about most of the things they are writing about. The same problem applies to many games as well. Then again: When it comes to porn games, increasing horniness significantly lowers the bar and if the H-scenes and models are hot, one becomes much more forgiving.

Edit: Took a moment to look it up, but

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ist pretty much how most historical movies look like.