VN Ren'Py Broken Promises [v0.38] [Light Cavalry]

[Ali ibn Hassan]

I think, if you try hard, you can find fault in just about anything. Remember, the original version had a scene where the MC made Saito cum just by kissing her... <cough>lame<cough>. There were lots of problems with the original version, not the least of which was the rambling in multiple languages at the cafe. WTH was that all about? Who does that?

Speaking as a failed developer myself, this shit is hard. Even when you have help, this shit is hard and for the most part, this dev is doing it all by themselves. You don't have to support them and you don't have to like the new story, but they are putting themselves out there and opening themselves up to criticism and you have to give them credit for having the courage to do that.

I hope we can agree to disagree!
At times I've experienced this myself when abroad and some in our group of multiple origin have started talking in their own language.

I found the rambling in multiple languages to be perfectly in sync with the older sis "being superior and above the rest in intellect". They might want to keep some stuff to themselves?
As being quite fluent in all of those languages except the east asian lingo I, as a bystander, could keep tabs while the MC was kept ignorant.

As for the kiss/cum thing: There are times when a slight touch can bring eternal bliss while at a different moment it takes more hands on stimulation.

I miss a lot of the stuff in the previous version and at first it's confusing to have to step back and meet totally different characters and story development in the rework.

The Knight must have had reasons to start all over again while I, as the leeching F95 pirate bastard I am, have to swallow the bitter cup.

 

[desmosome]

I didn't play the previous versions except the very first demo, so I'll just talk about the current version.

It's a decent start, but the game certainly went in a different direction than I anticipated after playing the demo. I thought it would be a gritty undercover story that tests your morals or something like that. The way this is going seems more like a story about a very standard good guy MC saving a bunch of damsels in distress. The college stuff is an interesting choice... There is no way to tell for sure, but I find it highly unlikely that there will be a route where the MC gets "too deep" undercover and has to make questionable choices. Well, there is no right or wrong here regarding the overall direction of the game. As long as characters behave believably and events follow a logical progression, it should be fine.

But that is where I have to nitpick a bit. I mean, I have no actual knowledge about law enforcement, but the undercover procedures seemed really sloppy all around. The chief pulling that weird stunt was absurd. Constantly calling/meeting his colleagues and even doing police raids while he is supposed to be undercover also seems like an absurd situation. The MC is not really doing any work and has so many unrelated thoughts (like playing therapist, watching soccer, playing games) when he was supposedly so fired up and serious about bringing the Syndicate down. Granted, most of these points are actually addressed one way or another within the script. I think I could stretch my suspension of disbelieve enough to give it a pass since he is just starting with the undercover work and haven't infiltrated anything yet, but it still seems like sloppy police work.

Anyways, the plot elements being set in the midst of all that melodrama did keep me interested.

 

[Englen]

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Hi All

I've decided to pause my patreon, the main reason is because of how I structured the story and welp, how I kind of feel like it's badly setup. If I keep going like this, my AVN won't be good. There is going to be some progress made for ch.3 if we talk about writing...but rendering well as of right now, ch.3 renders will be no existent for now. The renders I made are getting scrapped until I get a grip on the story. There isn't much to talk about to be honest, I've read some of the feedback and kind of shows that my game is mediocre and well I don't like that so I'm going to work on it and fix it...If I can't do that well maybe I shouldn't be doing this

One of the other reasons is that I don’t have a lot of time to work on the game because I’m working two jobs IRL and also studying. After oktober I’ll be much more free and hopefully able to work on the game more effectively.

Kind Regards

- Knight

 

[Canto Forte]

MC is all over the place. MC has many cases pending and he is torn between them.
On top of that, MC is turning the girls who want him away with no explanation.
We are living in the golden age of series featuring spy masters and master seducers.
We got many well written police dramas where the lead man/woman is a head turner.
Guess what: they have constant dates and sex every three episodes.
By that mark, by now, MC should have a date or even sex with a hottie.

We have to remember, cops are high octane and need to be right, to be cellebrated.
Cops need to investigate and to catch this or that girl in the act and punish her.
Cops need to feel like they solve someone”s troubles all the time.
Getting side tracked or waiting for girls to lose it in agony before action
is so much of this immature look on how things work in the world.

 

[The unseen]

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Hi All

I've decided to pause my patreon, the main reason is because of how I structured the story and welp, how I kind of feel like it's badly setup. If I keep going like this, my AVN won't be good. There is going to be some progress made for ch.3 if we talk about writing...but rendering well as of right now, ch.3 renders will be no existent for now. The renders I made are getting scrapped until I get a grip on the story. There isn't much to talk about to be honest, I've read some of the feedback and kind of shows that my game is mediocre and well I don't like that so I'm going to work on it and fix it...If I can't do that well maybe I shouldn't be doing this

One of the other reasons is that I don’t have a lot of time to work on the game because I’m working two jobs IRL and also studying. After oktober I’ll be much more free and hopefully able to work on the game more effectively.

Kind Regards

- Knight

Bruh. Again a revamp?! You go keep doing your revamp thing and your game will get fucked.

 

[SteelyDan14]

As being quite fluent in all of those languages except the east asian lingo I, as a bystander, could keep tabs while the MC was kept ignorant.

As for the kiss/cum thing: There are times when a slight touch can bring eternal bliss while at a different moment it takes more hands on stimulation.

I miss a lot of the stuff in the previous version and at first it's confusing to have to step back and meet totally different characters and story development in the rework.

I know a lot of non-Americans can speak multiple languages, but I am no spring chicken and I actually worked in France for 8 months and 4 in Italy, and I have never witnessed anything like that... but regardless, I was just trying to illustrate that while people may see problems in this version, others can see problems in the original or any VN for that matter.

The reason I started following this game is because of the original version. I liked it too, but my point was there were problems with that one as well and people can nitpick them to death.

 

[J1215]

any femdom in this game and character name, please?

or dominating personality female character name

Knight_BP

At the moment, there was no femdom yet. -I hope there will be a femdom.-
The most suitable character for a femdom is Kylie and Brie (confident and potentially dominant character). I liked their behavior when they first appeared in the game. I hope it will be possible to choose them to be dominant!
It will be great if they are the dominant Kylie and the dominant Brie!

 

[Abhai]

At the moment, there was no femdom yet. -I hope there will be a femdom.-
The most suitable character for a femdom is Kylie and Brie (confident and potentially dominant character). I liked their behavior when they first appeared in the game. I hope it will be possible to choose them to be dominant!
It will be great if they are the dominant Kylie and the dominant Brie!

what a great monologue...being put as a dialogue
(user1: dev, will there be xyz kink (the dev is unsure of, or dont wanna to have it)?
user 12: oh, yes, i do hope so, it would be great...i do see potential in many characters...)

where isare thatthose prego guys when you need them?
surely hethey can put this sub/dom-talk to shame, once they appear

 

[Vidal the king of Pervert]

I didn’t say revamp, roadmap is fucked and I’m fixing it before I continue to chapter 3, there will be some small edits and additions but no revamp lol, too burnt out to start again and I don’t want to as well, just need to fix some things

I wasn’t honestly clear with my post but there are things in the story that need a tiny change with the writing and also a clear goal, I already have that but it’s basic and the characters etc need more depth than they already have, my mistake on that I don’t see this taking very long but I currently have two jobs so it’s really hard to work on the game atm, we’ll see how long it takes for the tweaks

I know I'm illiterate and not very bright but this game is not mediocre to me I absolutely love it

if there is something in your game that you are not pleased with do whatever you need to do to fix it
but don't you ever say that you shouldn't be doing this because

I think you're a amazing developer

and this is an amazing game and if you ever stop it would break my heart just keep in mind that

if you are happy with the way the game is that's all that matters

 

[Vidal the king of Pervert]

MC is all over the place. MC has many cases pending and he is torn between them.
On top of that, MC is turning the girls who want him away with no explanation.
We are living in the golden age of series featuring spy masters and master seducers.
We got many well written police dramas where the lead man/woman is a head turner.
Guess what: they have constant dates and sex every three episodes.
By that mark, by now, MC should have a date or even sex with a hottie.

We have to remember, cops are high octane and need to be right, to be cellebrated.
Cops need to investigate and to catch this or that girl in the act and punish her.
Cops need to feel like they solve someone”s troubles all the time.
Getting side tracked or waiting for girls to lose it in agony before action
is so much of this immature look on how things work in the world.

I respectfully disagree brother I don't want to play an mc that sleeps with every girl I hate that

and besides mc just met these girls mc don't even know them

that's why the girls liked him because he's not a horny idiot

this is not a fuck Fest

and if it was a fuck Fest
I wouldn't even play this game

 

[Canto Forte]

This is cool and all, but MC usually when meeting a hottie because of his job,
he would start on that hottie relationship, meet her all over the place,
pursue her in a realistically portrayed fashion. The fact some assholes are just shown
with pussy dropped on them, like the boss who fkks all his empoloyees,
who is not stopped even when the tables turn and the hottie he banged is above him.

What was the whole point of her promotion if she would not fkk him up bad?

Hopeless broads who would not take your hand to save themselves are not date material.

 

[Vidal the king of Pervert]

This is cool and all, but MC usually when meeting a hottie because of his job,
he would start on that hottie relationship, meet her all over the place,
pursue her in a realistically portrayed fashion. The fact some assholes are just shown
with pussy dropped on them, like the boss who fkks all his empoloyees,
who is not stopped even when the tables turn and the hottie he banged is above him.

What was the whole point of her promotion if she would not fkk him up bad?

Hopeless broads who would not take your hand to save themselves are not date material.

View attachment final_619e84eb23604300f3f117ea_920266.mp4

 

[zack1419]

is it me or is the MC ungrateful? at the beginning he says he has nobody close to him but as story go on he has two families that care for him and give him money/gifts. i would be extremely close to the people that did that for me

 

[Canto Forte]

Just watch the new dragon house series about the asshole brother to the king:
illiterate, idiot, man whore, bully, traitor, cheater - but the whole show drops pussy on him
like it rained with witless broads loosing their panties for the antagonist.
MC here seems reluctant to actually bask in the spoils of his life, which is baffling:
why do always the antagonists have their cakes and eat them too? And cream pies?

 

[Mikedazz1]

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Okay guys started to work again slowly, my hopes is that it shouldn’t take that long until ch.3 script starts being worked….well it is already setup just need to render and put down some dialogue and I should be good.

Honestly I probably overreacted but that’s just always me but I’m okay now and hopefully when I finish this edit of the main script I’ll continue working on ch.3. Honestly there isn’t much work needed I only need to work on Ch.1 and edit a few dialogues and we’ll it’s good to go.

Ch.2 has gotten a lot of positives from what I’ve noticed it’s just well hell, ch.1. I might add some scenes but I’m not gonna promise anything an the moment I’m hoping to continue the work on Ch.3 soon.

Also I managed for now to cut down the hours on my second job so i have more free time for myself and also for the game, lately been rarely having any time for myself which might explain why I was so…overacting…but ah well don’t worry I’m gonna keep moving forward it’s needed, patreon will still be paused but don’t worry I’m still working on the game guys

Hope this makes you guys happy and well not worry about me quitting the game, sometimes I become like this and we’ll don’t think I logically, but we’ll this it got out of hand lol

 

[trauts]

Knight_BP also there is a typo in a variable name in a classroom scene in EP 2, you're trying to increment aliceRep variable, but it should be aliceRel (it's not crashing because you're incrementing values the wrong way, i already explained that a couple of pages ago)
Edit: also you forgot to define variables for Grace and Eveline

I guess stats are going to be messed up if dev continues with [ variable] = + 1
Knight_BP FYI:
aliceRel = + 1
aliceRel 1
aliceRel = + 1
aliceRel 1
.........
aliceRel += 1
aliceRel 1
aliceRel += 1
aliceRel 2
aliceRel += 1
aliceRel 3

 

[DeUglyOne]

...
But that is where I have to nitpick a bit. I mean, I have no actual knowledge about law enforcement, but the undercover procedures seemed really sloppy all around. The chief pulling that weird stunt was absurd. Constantly calling/meeting his colleagues and even doing police raids while he is supposed to be undercover also seems like an absurd situation. The MC is not really doing any work and has so many unrelated thoughts (like playing therapist, watching soccer, playing games) when he was supposedly so fired up and serious about bringing the Syndicate down. Granted, most of these points are actually addressed one way or another within the script. I think I could stretch my suspension of disbelieve enough to give it a pass since he is just starting with the undercover work and haven't infiltrated anything yet, but it still seems like sloppy police work.
...

Extremely sloppy. So much contact and pulling him for other operations would expose him and, more than likely, get him killed.
A raid like that with only 2 people to clear an entire warehouse? No.
A warehouse, basically empty, used to torture/kill one man? No. Why would the Syndicate own/lease a warehouse just for that when the basement of some remote house would have sufficed?

Logistics for both sides are pretty bizarre right now.

 

[BigPaul]

Great update, I'm curious how the story will go on.
Here is my Broken Promises Ch.2 Rework German translation update

 

[Canto Forte]

Love is the only way this could ever go on ...







Love is the wonderful feeling to have and to hold on to somebody you cuddle with your all.

Extremely sloppy.

The award winning plot of all True Detective series:
Two Detectives against the world.

A raid like that with only 2 people to clear an entire warehouse?

A warehouse, basically empty, used

Just like the villain antihero sometimes ally to the protagonists,
when the wise guys own / pay loads of cash for huge real estate,
this makes for the perfect movie pun: they do not hide, they own.

 

[franklin99]

I didn’t say revamp, roadmap is fucked and I’m fixing it before I continue to chapter 3, there will be some small edits and additions but no revamp lol, too burnt out to start again and I don’t want to as well, just need to fix some things

I wasn’t honestly clear with my post but there are things in the story that need a tiny change with the writing and also a clear goal, I already have that but it’s basic and the characters etc need more depth than they already have, my mistake on that I don’t see this taking very long but I currently have two jobs so it’s really hard to work on the game atm, we’ll see how long it takes for the tweaks

Fuck the haters, game is great so far. Keep up the good work!