VN Ren'Py Abandoned Broken Victory [v0.1] [ShlongWrangler]

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Discussion Reviews (1)
7767

7767

EAT
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Aug 5, 2016
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banner_cropped.jpg

Overview:
Welcome to my game.
The year is 2021 1945, the world is in shambles, and Maria Akrapovic returns from the war against the Germans as a highly decorated fighter pilot. She joins the staff of nurses at a mental ward for war veterans, only to find that the war may be over, but her personal fight for survival is not.

Facing a mixture of envy and distrust in a fragile micro cosmos she realizes immediately that her old life means nothing in her new one, and that she has to work her way up and work around obstacles aplenty.
You have the option to play things in a variety of ways, and you will be faced with choices you would rather have avoided, to make it through the days - and nights. You will be exposed to people who may as well be inmates themselves, and inmates who seem like they have their head in the right place.
​
Thread Updated: 2021-09-11
Release Date: 2021-09-10
Developer: ShlongWrangler
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Version: 0.1
OS: Win, Linux,Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Unofficial Android (Thanks to Caxhub!): Mega
banner_cropped.jpg chapter_1_doctors_office_recliner_1_c4.png chapter_1_follow_josef_to_nurse_meeting_room_1_c2.png chapter_1_go_back_to_your_room_1_c1.png chapter_1_go_back_to_your_room_4_c1.png chapter_1_go_back_to_your_room_6_c1.png chapter_1_leave_bus_3_c3.png chapter_1_leave_ward_2_c1.png chapter_1_maria_and_andrea_war_pic_1.png chapter_1_mirror_masturbation_2_c2.png chapter_1_outside_psych_ward_2_c2.png chapter_1_walk_down_to_lake_c2.png chapter_2_get_beat_up_by_ekatarina_2_c1.png chapter_2_take_shower_3_c1.png maria_walk_with_ramona_1_c2.png
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shlongwrangler

shlongwrangler

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Game Developer
Aug 26, 2021
85
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FireFunk said:
shlongwrangler Open a ticket for game dev tag. Good luck.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I will!
Fzoner95 said:
When I look into her eyes I can see the pain and numbness the war has left her with to endure every single day. That or there is just no facial animation, who knows.
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Expressions are sooo hard to do in daz, I'll have to do a lot of learning and experimenting still. It seems 8.1 is going in the right direction, but for now I'll keep the game like those russian dubs where one speaker voices every character. I like your interpretation of the war trauma :)
Lumie Lecter said:
The game just finished downloading. I'm going to jump right into it now. I will let you know my thoughts and if I see any issues/errors.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I hope you enjoy it! Excited to hear feedback.
 
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fromabove

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Jul 2, 2020
79
517
Interesting. I wonder how much of post-WW2 Soviet history will be accurately represented in this VN.
 
Deleted member 3917737

Deleted member 3917737

Active Member
Jul 12, 2021
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shlongwrangler said:
Thank you, I hope you enjoy it! Excited to hear feedback.
Click to expand...

Okay, I finished playing it. I didn't do all the choices, just the ones I wanted to get through. I took some screenshots to show some stuff I came across that needs fixing. The game kinda made me mad xD I wanted to punch the warden in the face, especially after I picked a certain choice that made her angry lol. Please tell me I can be violent and fight back... cause if not... I don't think I'll be able to continue. I really don't like getting treated bad/poorly and not being able to do anything about it.

Screenshots.

Missing a word. It should be "Come, I'll bring you to your room" Your is missing.

bv1.jpg

The left eye seems weird, like, it's looking up while the other one is not? Idk.

bf2.jpg

This dialog seems to need some work. I don't know if it's supposed to be "How come you're standing here before me" or "How is it that you're standing here before me" Maybe someone else can weigh in on this.


bv3.jpg

Here, it's supposed to say "I thought about it for a while" You put "for" before about.


bv4.jpg


Here, missing a word. It should be "Nobody had asked for it back" You are missing the word "For"

bv5.jpg


Here, I think you meant to say "what danger my trusty Makarov could possibly protect me from" From, not Here.

bv6.jpg

I'm not a writer, but I am sure someone who is can fix a few more things with the dialogs. All in all, the game was okay, just need to wait for future updates to really see if I'll stick with it or not. Like I said, it made me mad xD so, I hope I'll be able to do some things to help release that anger.
 
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NeoVlahos

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Jun 17, 2017
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Nice start though a bit short and yes the props are out of context (brand new bus 70s train, .... etc. actually the gun looks like a PP to me) ,and there are some grammatical mistakes here and there but overall i feel the dev has something to add in the scene so godspeed dev
 
shlongwrangler

shlongwrangler

Newbie
Game Developer
Aug 26, 2021
85
223
MrKnobb said:
I commend the dev on his choice of Nic.... ShlongWrangler HAHAHA
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Thank you, I giggled when I saw it was still free :D
terirheken said:
fun fact: I learned russian at school, don't remember much but can still read it with correct pronounciation (though I have no clue what I actually read)
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I have a stupidly hard time learning it, I think I'm on my fifth attempt. I really like the sound of the language, but I struggle a lot. I got to the point where I started understanding words in Russian songs, then dropped out again last time.
fromabove said:
Interesting. I wonder how much of post-WW2 Soviet history will be accurately represented in this VN.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't expect to go into this game for historical accuracy, for the limited choice of historical DAZ assets alone. I'm trying to catch the vibe, but there are things like no Russian airplanes so I guess our Russian pilotess is flying a German warplane for the few shots of her inside a cockpit :cautious: I'm a history nut myself, but I feel like that makes for much better YouTube videos than video games. That being said,I am actually a huge fan of the VN format for storytelling because it allows for much deeper character development and story archs than most games have today.

I'm getting a lot of inspiration from sources who themselves have been inspired (I'm a stupid Kraut, after all, what do I really know about post-war-Russia?!), and especially drawing from movies like shutter island for the mental ward and mindgame-playing characters. I guess when you are stuck on an island or in a Russian forest you have little else to do but read books and play games with your patients :unsure:

Lumie Lecter said:
Okay, I finished playing it. I didn't do all the choices, just the ones I wanted to get through. I took some screenshots to show some stuff I came across that needs fixing. The game kinda made me mad xD I wanted to punch the warden in the face, especially after I picked a certain choice that made her angry lol. Please tell me I can be violent and fight back... cause if not... I don't think I'll be able to continue. I really don't like getting treated bad/poorly and not being able to do anything about it.

I'm not a writer, but I am sure someone who is can fix a few more things with the dialogs. All and all, the game was okay, just need to wait for future updates to really see if I'll stick with it or not. Like I said, it made me mad xD so, I hope I'll be able to do some things to help release that anger.
Click to expand...
Thank you for all that valuable feedback, I'll make sure to add them to the list of todos and fix them with the next release!

As for the game: that's precisely how I envisioned it being played, pretty much all three major characters you meet in the demo are not exactly likeable. The doctor is a mysogynist homophobic who thinks he's doing the wrong things for the right reasons, the warden faults every soldier who survived the war for her dead husband, and Josef is kind of the enabler for the other two by following commands without question. My goal however is to make all these characters become deeper as time goes by, maybe not to the point of liking them but understanding them enough to work alongside them.

But yes, revenge is definitely an option, as early as the second chapter (thought taking that route would postpone or exclude a pretty interesting side arch). I have most of chapter 2 written and started the rendering process as well, there's some cool stuff coming up. And if you don't like the warden (who does?!) you can expect payback next chapter :D

m0us3r said:
Makarov was in production since 1951. In 1945 she could have its predecessor, German Polizeipistole Walther PP.
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Ah, good point. And here I was annoyed that all I could find was a Walther PP model (it actually has the markings). Thanks, I'll rewrite that section with the next release.
 
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shlongwrangler

shlongwrangler

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Game Developer
Aug 26, 2021
85
223
NeoVlahos said:
Nice start though a bit short and yes the props are out of context (brand new bus 70s train, .... etc. actually the gun looks like a PP to me) ,and there are some grammatical mistakes here and there but overall i feel the dev has something to add in the scene so godspeed dev
Click to expand...
Thank you for the kind words! I'll work out the kinks with the next release, and chapter 2 will have a lot more content and interactive choices, I have most of the writing done and am excited to finish that up. The assets are a bit of a problem, but I feel like I can get away in many cases with zooming in (like the warplane in chapter two, as long as there are no German insignia visible it should work out just fine. Finding the right / fitting assets was actually a lot of fun wherever I found something that looked good / good enough, it's not what DAZ's main focus seems to be :D
 
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4.00 star(s) 1 Vote