As a writer, I think it would be much more difficult to just hop on to an existing project that has a lot of problems in the writing department. It's one thing if it doesn't have too many problems. One would Just need to fill a little dialogue, and edit away some grammar and spelling errors. That's fairly easy. If you are talking a proofreading sort of thing that's a really easy job.
I checked out your game...
When it comes to renders you do them well they look very nice.
Looked at the code too nicely done! probably even a little better than I could currently do good job buddy.
So, you got 2 really nice things going in your favor here as a creator. No reason you shouldn't be a success. I can see, and praise your talents in these areas.
You have these awesome renders, and you code nicely... Why on earth is your Patreon only at $15 currently?
Your huge overshadowing weakness is writing. I'm not trying to be mean, but a monkey with a typewriter given enough time could write a better script than you have for your game.
To be blunt:
Your characters are developed poorly.
Your dialogue is both redundant and boring.
For example, you start out with. "This is your wife Nisha Rose" then just 4 clicks later you say "You are married to Nisha". There is no need to include both of these statements. It reminds me of "Mojojojo" from Powerpuff girls to be frank. You overly belabor the point right out the gates.
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(A short clip showing what I mean)
Moments later you say "You have been married to Nisha for a long time and feel like your love is fading away."
Then a few seconds later you say: "I can't believe how hot she is" To go from "love is fading away" to "She is unbelievably hot" in such a short time frame with no good reason is an unrealistic and very conflicted emotional jump. It's like saying "I'm tired of pizza" then "Some pizza sure sounds delicious" a minute later. moving on...
"She's making me so horny" followed up with "She made me so horny". Then the option to jerk off which for some strange reason increases your cuck stat by 1? or to not jerk off.... So much is wrong with this. Cuck should NOT rise here by masturbating to your wife. Then you pick to spank the monkey because fuck it why not better than the "do nothing" option I suppose... Here you can look at pussy, face, and boobs... Okay so you are facing her and jacking off the woman that refuses you sex... Also for some reason looking at her face adds a cuck point and looking at her pussy adds a "depravity" point but looking at her breasts adds neither.
Depraved = MorrallyCorrupted
Cuck = Another man fucks your wife
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say a man masturbating while thinking of his wife's vagina is kinda the opposite of morally corrupt. And neither of the first two cuck points had anything at all to do with cuckoldy. These points are added for no reason at all.
Okay so you pick your place to think of after cumming... And then you say "I'm cumming" and "Time to get out of here before she realizes" You are NOT treating this woman like she is your wife. You are not acting like a husband at all. Here would be a good option intead of jerking off before to simply "Try to seduce your wife". Even if you fail at least you tried. She is your wife, she is making you horny. Why not try to seduce her? Why act like a horny 13 year old that has snuck into the girls locker room?
Then you go out to the living room... And your character shares the thoughts "I should talk to her, I think she is going to leave m or something" "Everything feels so strange". Spot on with that 3rd observation.
So you go over and talk to her. "Hey honey why are you sitting all alone like this?" That is a really weird question for a husband to ask a wife if it's at home just the two of them, and a weird question in general. A "How are you feeling?" or "How was your day?" or "What's on your mind?" or "Want to grab a bite to eat?" would all go over better here.
Then she is like "I was just thinking" and you are like "About what?" and she goes... "Nothing important". No woman ever has said that 3rd line "Nothing important" after that interaction... A bitch always has something to bitch about. Okay, so she wants you to drop her off at the gym... So who is driving her home? Why drop her off if she has no way of getting home?
So the meathead at the Gym is like "Hey baby, you look grat. Are you ready to start sweating with me?" Also, if you are just dropping her off why are you going in with her? You do have work afterall. So you are goign in when it's just dropping her off, and she has no ride home.
Okay so she ignores the OBVIOUS flirt and introduces you as her HUSBAND. Then guy apologizes to you and says over the past few months he and your wife have had a very special relationship. Is this guy looking to get shot? He don't know you. He don't know what you are capable of. He don't know if you are a cuck or gonna blow his brains out.
Then you got 2 options. "I understand my wife is too beautiful to ignore" giving +1 cuck... Alright I'll give you that one. This cuck point is definitely a valid cuck point.
Then you got the other option of "I suggest you keep your comments to yourself." This gives +1 hardcore points. Nothing given the circumstances is "Hardcore" about what was just said. You basically were polite, and told him don't tell me about when you touched my wife. If you would have said something like. "I will cut your tiny steroid balls off before I skull fuck you if I find out you touched my wife you roid rage retard!" you should be granted +1 hardcore points... Your politeness is not hardcore...
Then the guy straight up says "remind me why you are cheating on him again?" before you establish you left. And she says she is bored of you.
So you gotta go to work but don't do shit there and then the wife is shown in a warehouse for some reason? Unclear.... And asks the options are "become my sex slave" "fuck my whole office" "fuck the step brother" or "fuck the step dad" It doesn't make sense from a story perspectieve to jump to a warehouse and ask this followed by these strange responses. Okay so you lazily claim it to be a dream.
So then meet taylor and she is a cunt that calls you boring for fantacizing about your wife that then suggests your wife is cheating on you.
So talk to boss... you are promoted! not sure why did nothing to achieve this but sleep at my desk okay... Now bosses wife.... blah blah boring talk go home. And wife is fucking Gym guy... So you can interrupt her and he beats you up even if you picked ALL the hardcore options. So you got no way to stop him fucking the wife. so you continue on the hardcore path and not enough points in cuck to continue so gotta start all over... Then it has some stupid dialouge and weird timed minigames with random bad ends sprinkled in just because you say the wrong thing. Then you fuck the wife while the brrother spies on it with his monkey face? Makes no sense... why are you fucking the wife now? You bene cucked! Why are you fucking her while weird monkey boy views it?
I'm going to give you a cold hard truth that probably nobody has told you yet. The writing is too bad to "fix" without rewriting it from scratch competently. It just doesn't make any sense in too many ways.
