Note: This review is written as of 28/10/2023 (or 10/28/2023 for Americans). And holy jizz how did this get so long?!
First order of business is that
this game has been completely fixed. I experienced
0 bugs, crashes, meandering text, etc. during my complete (cumplete?) play through. This is a very quick game, lasting anywhere between 45-90 minutes depending on your play style. There are no battles.
As the overview states, Tadashi, a 40-year-old fat virgin and janitor for a local high school, is bumped into by "Gal Eri-chan", a snobby-yet-beautiful student of said school. As per real life, the girl accuses and mocks the poor guy before shouting about him being a molester, which a no-name gym teachers overhears and her two similar brat friends support. Thus, our hapless virgin is fired. On his way home he stumbles across a nameless witch who reveals that, due to being a 40-year-old virgin male, Tadashi can learn magic, gives him a book on magic, and teleports away. Because why not.
One month later, Tadashi returns and uses his magic to kidnap Eri-chan into a magical school of his own creation. The only way for her to escape is to collect 1,000,000 Yen (or was it Gold?)! Which in todays' exchange rate...is 282,367,426.90 Iranian Rial! 5,509 Pound sterling! 6,315 Euros!! 6,681 US Dollars! How is she to get this money, one may ask? By playing mini-games, silly!
This is the meat of the game. Play various mini-games, collect enough cash to unlock more mini-games that offer greater rewards...with a catch! See, kidnapping sexy bratty Gal Eri-chan used-up a lot of Tadashi's magic, and every time he recovers 30MP he is able to sex-up Eri-chan! The game breaks these mini-games to three floors:
Floor 1 (Restores 10MP, available immediately):
- Vine Climbing: Climb one of multiple, sometimes zig-zagging vines to reach the top of a cliff...and hope that the chest you're led to has money in it.
- Sugoroku Dice Game: Remember those mini-games in the older Dragon Quest games where you run around on a "board" collecing Gold/Items/Weapons depending on where the dice lets you land? This is it. You have something like 30 turns to collect money & sellable items before reaching the end...though some squares will make you lose money.
- Map Explore: Visit one of multiple locations on a classic RPGM-type map to enter a location which may, or may not, offer cash.
Floor 2 (Restores 20MP, requires 50,000 I think to unlock):
- Chest Maze: You have 40 seconds to open as many chests as possible within a darked maze.
- Room Maze: Wander single-screen rooms, going up and down ropes & ladders, until you locate a room with a chest. There are multiple chests to find with varied amounts of cash, but only one chest may be opened per session.
- Fortune-Teller Chests: Recall that one mini-game in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past where Link is allowed to open a chest and keep whatever he finds inside? Same concept, except you don't have to pay to play and you can open multiple chests until the game kicks you out - the time limit appears to be random.
Floor 3 (Restores 30MP, requires 200,000 I think to unlock):
- Chest Maze: Similar to Chest Maze on Floor 2, but this time the map is more open and you have to find ivy to climb to walk atop the walls where the chests are hidden in the dark.
- Sugoroku Dice Game: The same game as Floor 1, but with a new map and greater rewards...and greater penalties for landing on a bad square. As before, the rewards generally outweighs any risk of loss.
- Scavenger Hunt: Wander a dream-like school setting checking anything and everything for loose change and several keys which unlock lockers and armoires - these hold huge amounts of cash and is the fastest way to accumulate money in my run through.
- Animal Farm: Catch as many chickens, dogs, and cats as you can within 30-seconds to win money based on the catch - chickens net the least profits but are the slowest and most plentiful, while cats are the quickest and rarest yet most profitable.
As stated above, each time Tadashi regains 30MP he is able to sex-up our bratty heroine Gal Eri-chan. After several encounters with our revenge-driven horndog of a wizard Eri-chan will become slightly more corrupt, for a total of 20 scenes. While this may sound repetitive, it really isn't. The mini-games are VERY quick to complete and gaining cash to unlock the next floor of the "magic school" is pretty simple. Plus, some mini-games allow you to collect items which you can then sell for quick cash! Or, you can purchase "Magical Masses" for a (paltry) 30,000 a pop which gives Tadashi an instant 30MP! Everything about this game is designed to take as little time as possible to complete to ensure repetitive boredom doesn't take hold.
With the latest update that fixed all those nasty bugs reported earlier, the translation also received a bit of an overhaul. Poetry? NO!!! NO POETRY!!! There are, of course, lots of onomatopoeia to express all the slurping and slapping going on. As well as censorship - but as this is a Japanese game that shouldn't come as a shock.
Stylistically, the artwork is well-drawn (though Eri-chan's tits tend to change sizes depending on the sexing going on), and the decision to only use color on her eyes and to (lightly) highlight her hair was neither a turn-on nor turn-off for me. It did lead to a greater emphasis on her eyes for each sexing encounter, which was a nice touch.
Overall I give
Cheeky Gale Eri-chan 4-bukkakes out of 5. Is it a great game? Nope. But it is a quick game that's at least worth a play. Especially with the addition of a recollection room and an item available near the end that can ensure which ending you want. No matter how much of a cock-hungry mega-slut you turned Eri-chan into.
...But why is the bad ending the one where Gal Eri-chan becomes a cum-hungry mega-slut? Foul play!! This is the BEST ending!