First thing that jumps to the eyes is that every added feature/mechanic which involves active gameplay adds a layer of complexity to the game, further requiring text/guides to ensure the player knows what does what, thus comes verbosity the first problem and two, intended vs actual feature texts.
the first one, verbosity, is extermely time consuming, but the reward of it will be fewer questions to answer and increasing the accessibility to new players. i doubt if i joined the train at version 35 i would have wanted to play this game, because games like cataclysm dark days ahead or ostraunauts have the same infuriating (my opinion) gimmick of dropping the player in the middle of a humongous amount of features, which are extremely customizable. These games are: figure shit out on your own via trials and errors. so whats good about those games? Immersion. kinda like project zomboid too. the point IS figuring shit out to simulate realism.
Your game, like CDDA, is unique in how the player interacts with not only npcs, but the program itself.
So, you lack the immersion of those games, the players lack any prior knowledge of similar games so they need to read the instructions first, and finally, the entire game is pointed toward optimisation by the player via pressure of time limit, timed event and limited ressources.
Therefore, it is important that the guides and such be short, compact, straight to the point.
If only your game had loading screens, you could just shove a whole lot of those tips in them, you already do it a bit, but maybe having a lil imp secretary whose purpose is to spew some more fact INSIDE the game and not in a file outside it COULD bring more immersion and less ikea instruction like mechanics to new players.
Another solution would be to hire volunteers or pay for people to make your texts compact and straight to the point, unless you wish to spend some time doing it, time you could want to spend adding more features/bugfixes.
which brings me to my second point, intended vs actual feature texts.
In your guide, there are a lot of things you added that the player can figure out by themselves, like the toggle off graphic violence or: "The main challenge of this game is identifying which strategies will work best against the set of personalities for the current playthrough[...]
You can make some guesses about what the target is vulnerable to depending on what sort of personality she seems to have."
I feel like you mixed-in tutorial and walktrough information in your guide. By answering every questions, people become despondant and stop searching for that one answer for their one question they had.
My advice for you would be to open up the game, and imagine like you know nothing about it. inspect and examine the options: Single play, campaign, load game, import, tutorial, options, customize, scenes, about.
Note what becomes obvious for the player, and then remove it from the guide.
The second advice would be for you to open up the guide after having removed the redundant feature, and think: what part of it is telling and what should be showing instead.
I could go in detail about the difference between showing and telling, but i'll use your in game text to speed up the process
Prophet is pushed onto her hands and knees and then pelted with garbage while the watching Thralls laugh and cheer. Several of the Thralls enjoy the show so much that they begin masturbating, and Prophet can only glare into the ground as she hears their lewd comments. Some others have some more niche desires, tickling her and enjoying her increasingly strained efforts to avoid showing any reaction.
Prophet just tries to stay calm and present a brave face. However, with the abuse accumulating, this can't last forever.
First Time Reaching 1000 HATE
Prophet has always been a hardheaded, stubborn person, but she follows a rigid code of ethics that requires her to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of others. Her conceptions of right and wrong aren't based on her own personal convictions, which means that it only takes a bit of hatred for the people she's supposed to save to make her start to question whether they're worth it.
The Thralls have torn open Prophet's wife-beater so that she needs to devote one hand to keeping everything covered. She frowns with exertion and anger.
The texts that are written strike-through is telling text While the text that is normal are showy texts
The most flagrant example is this one:
Prophet just tries to stay calm and present a brave face. However, with the abuse accumulating, this can't last forever.
If we are meant to roleplay as the BBEG of the world, going back and forth between witnessing the effects of our actions and being told by EL mighty NARRATOR what is happening feels odd.
a more showy way to rewrite it all would be:
Prophet is pushed onto her hands and knees and then pelted with garbage while the watching Thralls laugh and cheer. Aroused by the situation, several of the Thralls hastily plunge their hands into their pants to stroke their aching needs. Prophet can only glare into the ground as she hears their lewd comments. Some others prefer to tickle her, greatly enjoying the way she fails to remain stoic, flinching and squirming under the assault.
Prophet tries to stay calm and present a brave face as she hopes for the abuse to come to an end shortly.
First Time Reaching 1000 HATE
Prophet always tought of the greater good, finding in it the strenght and resolve necessary to fight you and your thralls. Her blind devotion to do what she has been told was good shielded her from acknowledging that evil lies within everyone, yet her struggle against you has got her wondering. Could it be that some people aren't worth saving? Isn't it unfair how she has to make the most sacrifice while everyone else reap the benefits?
She shakes those toughts out of her head, as she heads back into the fray... but they aren't going anywhere.
So now comes the advice: what part of it is telling and what should be showing instead.
obviously, it is hard to SHOW anything in a GUIDE. but maybe... that's just it. If you feel like a part of your guide would work great in a showy manner, maybe find a way to add it into the game instead.
So there you go, I hope you find something interesting in this post.
