I love the overall concept of CoC as I do with TiTS, but they both go way, waaaaaaaay over board with the body customization, which always results in shitty writing like this
The resulting text feels less like a linguistic work of art and more of a massive database look-up program. If you're really into that, it's better to just break into your company's server room and masturbate all over the routers like a normal person.
Alternatively, at least dump all those descriptors (like "massive, average-sized, small, impressive" etc for dick-size) in favor of paragraphs or even encounters tailored to the player's choices. Fucking as a hairy assed beast-boy with three tails, a massive dick, two buttholes and an indestructible coffee machine installed in your upper left tit should be a completely different experience than going at it as the average John Doe.
Take the coffee machine, for instance. At first, your partner will say "what the fuck is that" and you'll have some explaining to do. However, before she goes any further, the erotic smell of fresh, organic and homebrewed mocca reaches her nostrils. She takes it all in with a deep breath, looks up your body, slowly, until her eyes reaches yours. She moves forward, almost like in a trance, and press her body against you, moving her hands up and down the thick fur on your back. As your tongues meet, you both feel a tingle as the machine gets excited. Her left hand releases your back and a single finger, light as a feather, begins teasing the grinder. It buzzes with joy ... you pummel deep into her pussy while she holds on tight around you. With each thrust, your bodies smash together with the machine between, burning your chests, sending waves of pain and pleasure to every nerve and every cell in your body, fully awakened by the caffeine ... as you both come in a rage of pure, primal lust, the coffee explodes like a vulcano scolding everyone in a four mile radius.
Reputation: -12 points
...anyways
This was the shit, I was ready to write before I gave the game a chance. I've included it, because that coffee machine story is now a part of me and you can't just delete something of yourself. It would be like flushing a baby, only more precious. After a little playtime I must admit that I really love the game. Sure, I'm still not a fan of the whole body customization thing and most sexual encounters doesn't really appeal to me (disappointingly, I'm not a tree fucking kinda guy), but it is still very pleasing to see something that clearly has a lot of effort, passion and talent put into it. As you have probably guessed, I am a serious individual, but for the less mature out there, the game also has a bit of humor. The writing is great and the visual layout an absolute pleasure to look at.
Five stars and thumb up your butt (which in this context is a positive thing)
Hail Hydra
PS: The review interface is shittier than a human centipede on diarrhea that's being forcefed shit. There's a very small screen to write in and if I do an edit, I can't see it because I'm kicked back to the front page after submitting. Also, it contains smileys. Anything that contains smileys is evil and should be erradicated with fury. Arnold is not pleased.
"She touches your" [insert hair_length] [insert hair_color] "hair with one hand and grabs your "
If penis=true, then [insert penis_length] "penis "
If vagina = true, then [insert vagina_shavedstatus] "vagina "
Else, then [ERROR{93271} - EXPLODE COMPUTER!!!]
"in the other"
The resulting text feels less like a linguistic work of art and more of a massive database look-up program. If you're really into that, it's better to just break into your company's server room and masturbate all over the routers like a normal person.
Alternatively, at least dump all those descriptors (like "massive, average-sized, small, impressive" etc for dick-size) in favor of paragraphs or even encounters tailored to the player's choices. Fucking as a hairy assed beast-boy with three tails, a massive dick, two buttholes and an indestructible coffee machine installed in your upper left tit should be a completely different experience than going at it as the average John Doe.
Take the coffee machine, for instance. At first, your partner will say "what the fuck is that" and you'll have some explaining to do. However, before she goes any further, the erotic smell of fresh, organic and homebrewed mocca reaches her nostrils. She takes it all in with a deep breath, looks up your body, slowly, until her eyes reaches yours. She moves forward, almost like in a trance, and press her body against you, moving her hands up and down the thick fur on your back. As your tongues meet, you both feel a tingle as the machine gets excited. Her left hand releases your back and a single finger, light as a feather, begins teasing the grinder. It buzzes with joy ... you pummel deep into her pussy while she holds on tight around you. With each thrust, your bodies smash together with the machine between, burning your chests, sending waves of pain and pleasure to every nerve and every cell in your body, fully awakened by the caffeine ... as you both come in a rage of pure, primal lust, the coffee explodes like a vulcano scolding everyone in a four mile radius.
Reputation: -12 points
...anyways
This was the shit, I was ready to write before I gave the game a chance. I've included it, because that coffee machine story is now a part of me and you can't just delete something of yourself. It would be like flushing a baby, only more precious. After a little playtime I must admit that I really love the game. Sure, I'm still not a fan of the whole body customization thing and most sexual encounters doesn't really appeal to me (disappointingly, I'm not a tree fucking kinda guy), but it is still very pleasing to see something that clearly has a lot of effort, passion and talent put into it. As you have probably guessed, I am a serious individual, but for the less mature out there, the game also has a bit of humor. The writing is great and the visual layout an absolute pleasure to look at.
Five stars and thumb up your butt (which in this context is a positive thing)
Hail Hydra
PS: The review interface is shittier than a human centipede on diarrhea that's being forcefed shit. There's a very small screen to write in and if I do an edit, I can't see it because I'm kicked back to the front page after submitting. Also, it contains smileys. Anything that contains smileys is evil and should be erradicated with fury. Arnold is not pleased.