Oh, wow, this has come a long way since the first version that I played! I really like what's been added thus far. And I'm glad to see that the poor little bookworm can survive now - she was too cute to die
!
A few thoughts and suggestions that came to mind when playing the game...
1. Personally, I think it would be a good idea for the game to encourage you to check the hunting contracts between the first and second missions; I forgot all about them until the end of the game, but even if I hadn't, it would feel wrong to go and do a minor quest when I'm told my best friend disappeared on a mission. Some brief break to make it more appropriate would make sense, I think.
2. The vampy village is nicely done, but it also feels slightly railroady... I feel like it would benefit from either a minor quest (to make it feel less like an obvious trap, even if that's what it is), or a way for the main character to properly uncover the secret, like she did with the librarian (not necessarily changing anything significant about how the mission goes; just rewarding the player for investigating the town, and helping her not yell at the main character that she's being an idiot trusting the obviously suspicious "saint".)
3. To make the emotional beat of having to kill your best friend hit home a bit more, I would recommend adding a couple more interactions between her and the main character - maybe she helps you out a bit more with the first mission, or maybe you reminisce about the old days a bit with her. As it is, I... Don't actually remember her name.
4. I feel like there should be a different reason that we can't go back into the room where Evelyn "died" - maybe something like "I can't bear to go back in there"? I understand why we can't, but given that we buried another major person who died that day, it feels odd that we wouldn't consider extending the same courtesy to another adventurer.
5. It would be fun to expand on the vampire paths a bit, though I understand if you'd rather focus on the
actual game instead of a fun expanded "Bad End". Maybe let you continue the main storyline for a couple of more missions while you pretend to not be a vampire, to get them to let down their guard?
6. On a side note, it kind of feels weird to see the cultists talking about Satan when... The rest of the setting doesn't exactly look Christian in the least. It might be better to come up with another "Evil God" name, or just use "Dark Lord" exclusively. It's not a terribly important point either way, though.
7. While I didn't finish it, the contract with the Cathedral really felt a lot like a retread of the mission you
just completed. I mean, you go there, the Cathedral's matron acts Really Suspicious, and... Everyone there dies, including the person the main character really wanted to protect, because the matron was actually a vampire perpetuating an evil cult. Exactly the way it looked right from the start, and which the main character remarks upon. Personally, I would suggest either moving the contract to take place after the third mission to create more distance between the two plot beats, subverting the quest so that it only
looks similar at the start (maybe it was actually Lily who was the vampire behind the plot, and the Matron had actually come back to defeat the cult herself), and/or add a way to interfere with the plan so that the emotional beat is different (say, finding the diary before the matron can complete the plan).
8. One last minor irrelevant detail, but it would be nice if there were a way for the vampire scientist to initiate the battle in the first mission - something like the main character asking for details on this supposed vaccine against vampires, and the scientist deciding that she'll just force the matter instead. I know it's silly, but I feel bad just dismissing her out of hand, even though we have every reason to doubt her.
Anyways, all of that said, I quite like how the game is going so far
! All of these are fairly minor points, so while I hope they're useful feedback, don't take them too seriously
.
