I like this. Especially the vibe, sort of a combination of a bit of V for Vendetta, some 1984-light and A LOT of Floor 13 (excellent old game btw; rec. if you haven't played it and liked the "spy" stuff in this). It's a boon to have, for once, a writer writing what he knows (or is interested enough in to have investigated it properly) and getting so many details, however small, "right enough" to not break immersion, something that happens very often in games like this when, for instance, you have a Russian writer writing about, say, the USA and getting so many details wrong. Also impressive how the girls are interwoven into the plot so naturally and open/close different pathways (some not even plot-related) that an ordinary dev wouldn't have even bothered with, which make the game especially replayable.
If I had to complain about something, that'd be the start. Lawyer and office aren't exactly the most exciting of professions/settings and you usually want to put your best foot forward first. Unless I'm mistaken, I reckon the most obvious stand out from this game's setting is the existence of a paramilitary organization operating on police matters with limited oversight or accountability; if that's the case, a small scene at the start where the MC runs across some form of Titan operation (and perhaps is given a choice on how he views them, even if uninformed) would not only help distinguish the setting from your average "lawyer goes to work drafting NDAs" into more what the game is about and still be distant enough from when the plot picks up to have the reader think that it's all that the game is about. Sort of a not-so-subtle hint, kind of like Cyberpunk 2077 introduces the special police force on the way back from the tutorial mission (and then proceeds not to have them involved in the main plot at all). Again, assuming Titan are going to be big players in the plot/setting, as it seems like they are.
Other than that, the only issues I have are:
1) the letter Collier leaves in his car: wouldn't it be more prudent to leave it to the police? Or keep it to yourself? In any case, should you ever even consider handing it over to the one person who'd stand to gain the most from Collier's disappearance or Lydia's imprisonment? After all, the MC is supposed to be on Lydia's, not Eve's side. Seems like a bizarre choice. And Eve not having a more pronounced part in the plot is bizarre as well. I'd at least expect her to turn up in conversation more often.
2) at one point you're given the choice to go look at the CCTV footage from the store, where you see that Lydia did end up taking her own car back, thus lying to the MC, again. From this point on, the MC meets with her twice and never brings it up, even though earlier at the police station you're even given a choice to emphasise how bad it is for her to be lying to her barrister to begin with. If the MC doesn't want to bring this up, he should at least justify it to himself (us, really) why not.
Good shit, White Phantom, keep it up.
