The following is my review of version 0.5, the first version of the game I have played. As a warning, it is a bit long.
The TL;DR version of the review:
1. The game's writing is messy and disjointed, with a lengthy intro that serves as a confusing info dump. It then moves into a series of unearned sex scenes and more clumsy info dumps about the protagonist's relationship with other characters.
2. The game appears to have been made with little attention paid to the universe it is set in. The movie theater trip doesn't feel like Harry Potter, as do some of the other weird intrusions of technology. The protagonist's default name and background doesn't match a single character and creates narrative dissonance for anyone who has seen the films and/or read the books of Harry Potter. Even an OC to self-insert into would be better, because it avoids the dissonance problem.
3. The game rewards the player for simply clicking through it with a lengthy montage of titillation and sex scenes. At that point, the player has made three choices. This ruins any sense of progression or achievement for the player. If I wanted a montage of easily-accessed titillation and sex scenes, I could get on Rule34 or Pornhub.
While I understand that much of what I have written thus far is quite negative, I would like to at this point highlight a few positives of the project thus far.
1. The game's art is quite good. The use of color especially stands out, and if paired with solid writing I think the game has enormous potential.
2. Plot. While I have savaged the presentation thus far, I do think the basic fetch quest and love triangle elements of the game actually have a lot of potential. The fetch quest for the cards can open up lots of new locations and exploration options. If the game opened with the player's two-timing being discovered and alienating both girls, the VN model could then be used to rebuild the player's relationship with one or both of the girls. Bellatrix could also be explored in detail more.
3. Thus far, ThePornWriterDuck has been active in the threads and has been receptive to questions from people. I hope that the spirit of that continues, and that you take all that I have written as well-intentioned criticism to help the game improve.
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1. The game's writing is messy and disjointed, with a lengthy intro that serves as a confusing info dump. It then moves into a series of unearned sex scenes and more clumsy info dumps about the protagonist's relationship with other characters.
2. The game appears to have been made with little attention paid to the universe it is set in. The movie theater trip doesn't feel like Harry Potter, as do some of the other weird intrusions of technology. The protagonist's default name and background doesn't match a single character and creates narrative dissonance for anyone who has seen the films and/or read the books of Harry Potter. Even an OC to self-insert into would be better, because it avoids the dissonance problem.
3. The game rewards the player for simply clicking through it with a lengthy montage of titillation and sex scenes. At that point, the player has made three choices. This ruins any sense of progression or achievement for the player. If I wanted a montage of easily-accessed titillation and sex scenes, I could get on Rule34 or Pornhub.
While I understand that much of what I have written thus far is quite negative, I would like to at this point highlight a few positives of the project thus far.
1. The game's art is quite good. The use of color especially stands out, and if paired with solid writing I think the game has enormous potential.
2. Plot. While I have savaged the presentation thus far, I do think the basic fetch quest and love triangle elements of the game actually have a lot of potential. The fetch quest for the cards can open up lots of new locations and exploration options. If the game opened with the player's two-timing being discovered and alienating both girls, the VN model could then be used to rebuild the player's relationship with one or both of the girls. Bellatrix could also be explored in detail more.
3. Thus far, ThePornWriterDuck has been active in the threads and has been receptive to questions from people. I hope that the spirit of that continues, and that you take all that I have written as well-intentioned criticism to help the game improve.
