VN Ren'Py DESIRIUM [0.12.0 Beta] [ElCharlo]

[as22]

I know, there were many complaints about this part if you look at the 1-2 stars reviews. That's why I will absolutely remake the Prologue (and some parts of Chapter I) once I'm done with Chapter I.

I want this game to be as good as possible

Don't remake the prologue. You've barely started the story. Just keep writing. Maybe in a year you can go back to the prologue. Needlessly remaking parts is a waste of time.

 

[ElCharlo]

Ok that makes more sense, I can see why there are two variables. One question, which you may choose to ignore... why does the scene that will add the Supernatural tag to this game only show up if you went straight home with Chloe and Kayla, but not if you stayed with Riley but came home when Kayla calls?

Also I should mention that the next morning the MC thinks to himself "(Actually, maybe I do. That thing I saw last night...)" even if he is on the mc_went_back_kayla path and shouldn't have seen anything the previous night.

Kinda confused why Kayla went to school and the MC didn't and there was no discussion of him skipping class or anything. He's an exchange student right? Why isn't he going to school that day?
Edit: Ok he mentions to Emma later than his classes aren't 'til 1. Still odd that it wasn't discussed with Kayla in the morning.
Is this high school or college? I was assuming high school because colleges don't usually have "exchange programs", but I don't really remember what was said at the start of the game. But if it is high school its weird that MC doesn't have to show up until 1, never seen a HS where the entire day wasn't mandatory and fully scheduled, none of this "no class 'til afternoon" stuff.

There is a scene if you stay with Riley. No matter what, the MC sees the new character.

And it's college, I also never heard of a HS where the day is not fully scheduled. I think the "exchange student" term has been misused though, because he's just studying abroad. In any case, that's at least an easy fix.

If she has no lack of male attention, she has no reason to be clingy. The two contradicts each other. If she were lacking it, or no one ever tried to play nice with her, that would be understandable, but as you said, she looks young and nice, sure would be more than one person around that is nice to her, even if only to get in her pants, but that's regardless the point.

As for her making a mistake, that's all good but that doesn't mean everybody should just automatically nod their head to it. I was on both sides in my 20's, but whenever I saw someone doing something stupid I did tell them as it is, and haven't supported said choices, or participated in supporting it. And that's what I was talking about, having the choice of not doing so, that's what's missing. By the way, she acknowledges her mistake, of not standing fully behind her sister, but she sticks that he is a good guy regardless, so there's that, basically it means shit. As I said though, she's free to do so, and the player should be free not to be a yes-man to it, otherwise it makes the MC looks like spineless.

I wasn't angry though "bro", just like to call things they are. If someone acts like that, they are fucking delusional, and that's all there's to it. It goes back to the previous point, they are free to do that, as I should be free to stand from that table.

And that was problem with both scenes, not giving the choice while automatically do something unrealistic as the automated one does bring down the joy of it by a lot. Therefore I'm not even sure why you felt the need to excuse Chloe's behaviour whereas my comment was mostly about not being able to react to it approprietly, even if it would be a flavor choice and not deriving the main plot in a massive wave.

I get your point, however you're wrong about what Chloe thinks of her boyfriend. She doesn't "stick that he is a good guy regardless", she only said he's always been good to her and she doesn't understand why he would do such a thing.

What I planned was new choices once you're actually at school with Chloe and when you meet Billy again.

why [vaginal sex] tag????? only one BJ so far

Masturbation with a sex toy is considered vaginal sex, according to

You must be registered to see the links

list provided by F95

Don't remake the prologue. You've barely started the story. Just keep writing. Maybe in a year you can go back to the prologue. Needlessly remaking parts is a waste of time.

The thing is that a prologue like this one steers quite a lot of people away from the game (ugly MC, some cringe dialogues, some bad lighting, some bad looking models and lack of choices at the end). It shows I lacked experience. And honestly, I'm almost embarrassed to promote the game because of it. That sucks, because the other half of the game is decent and there's a bunch of nice animations and renders I do want to promote.

Also, I'm sure I could do that remake in a very reasonable amount of time, because its structure is already mostly there.

 

[chuangshiren]

Finally, a longer VN with Dumb Koala level models! Best luck!

 

[billclinton99]

One of the girls looks like Belle Delphine in terms of her face.

 

[Frosthugger]

There is a scene if you stay with Riley. No matter what, the MC sees the new character.

And it's college, I also never heard of a HS where the day is not fully scheduled. I think the "exchange student" term has been misused though, because he's just studying abroad. In any case, that's at least an easy fix.



I get your point, however you're wrong about what Chloe thinks of her boyfriend. She doesn't "stick that he is a good guy regardless", she only said he's always been good to her and she doesn't understand why he would do such a thing.

What I planned was new choices once you're actually at school with Chloe and when you meet Billy again.



Masturbation with a sex toy is considered vaginal sex, according to

You must be registered to see the links

list provided by F95




The thing is that a prologue like this one steers quite a lot of people away from the game (ugly MC, some cringe dialogues, some bad lighting, some bad looking models and lack of choices at the end). It shows I lacked experience. And honestly, I'm almost embarrassed to promote the game because of it. That sucks, because the other half of the game is decent and there's a bunch of nice animations and renders I do want to promote.

Also, I'm sure I could do that remake in a very reasonable amount of time, because its structure is already mostly there.

You seem to want feedback, so here's some. The girls are beautiful, especially the two sisters, but they are too easy. If the MC was ripped, handsome and smooth, then maybe it would fit. He's not though. Kinda feels like this one game I tried, I think it was WVM, where the girls were just throwing themselves at you for no discernable reason. If you want to redo the prologue, you can re-render the scenes with the MC with a hotter model or just make him the older one immediately, then invent some excuse that he took a gap year, was in a coma or whatever, so he's with younger people in school.

EDIT: I don't want to be too negative, I really like the models and animations. I just think the scenes would be more gratifying if they felt a little more earned, either because MC is attractive, or because of work done. There is a good amount of bonding with Kayla for example, but the hottub with Chloe or stuff with Emma doesn't feel "earned". Unless there is some reason for all the girls to be slutty, but that would also deminish the satisfaction somewhat. Overall, I like it and iwll follow the game.

 

[Kapycs]

Where is the vaginal sex??? I am missing something?

 

[xXwankerXx]

If she has no lack of male attention, she has no reason to be clingy. The two contradicts each other.

They don't actually, and the reason why I said that is bcz this is a porn game first and foremost, not real life, and some things need to happen so the story can progress and the characters grow.

Chloe most likely never even slept with Billy, she only trusts him so much cuz of what she thinks she knows about him, not how he really is... she doesn't exactly have other men to compare him to either. Plus, the dev can't afford to risk making his supporters and fans even angrier than some of them already are cuz of the kidnapping 'prank' by showing her openly flirting with men other than the MC or vice-versa, or worse, 'socializing' with them under the sheets. IRL, we both know it'd be a completely different story, this isn't IRL tho.

As for her making a mistake, that's all good but that doesn't mean everybody should just automatically nod their head to it.

Nobody did tho. Kayla sounded pretty serious about wanting Chloe to either break up with Billy or at least demand some answers from him as to why any sane person on the planet would come up with such a stupid joke, and the MC instantly accepts to help her 'punish' him if you go to them and don't spend the night at Riley's. The MC's less concerned about it than her cuz he's a man and the MC of the story, nothing too bad ever happens to MCs... he also has no right to tell Chloe what to do, since he barely knows both sisters, but Kayla was scared shitless, almost left traumatized after that so-called prank those two idiots pulled. It's only natural for her to be a lil more emotional about it.

I understand why you'd want the MC to have reacted differently to their half-assed explanation for their prank, I also hate the doormat, beta type of MCs, but using your fists to get your point across or to clear up a misunderstanding is and should never be considered an option, for all sorts of obvious reasons, more so since the MC doesn't exactly look like the fighter type of a guy. A diplomatic approach is a better option to solve this problem, IMHO.

We'll just have to wait on the next update, and see if it's good enough for us.

I was on both sides in my 20's, but whenever I saw someone doing something stupid I did tell them as it is, and haven't supported said choices, or participated in supporting it. And that's what I was talking about, having the choice of not doing so, that's what's missing.

Let's be honest for a sec, don't think too many of us were too rational about our actions and the words that came out of our mouths at 18/19yo or in our early 20s

Same here. Did and said my fair share of stupid stuff I'm not exactly proud of now, but it wasn't as bad as what others did, and I obviously didn't kidnap anyone for the lolz lol. This is why I said that not a lot of us would always do or say the right thing giving too many fucks about the consequences of our words and/or actions.

she acknowledges her mistake, of not standing fully behind her sister, but she sticks that he is a good guy regardless, so there's that, basically it means shit.

It actually proves my point tho. She's a naive, young woman in love, who doesn't have enough life and relationship experience and who thinks the guy gives her the comfort of a stable relationship and loves her back just cuz he farts a few compliments her way and treats her nicely for you-know-what reason. Suddenly, all these things makes her think he's her potential future husband, but I'd argue here that this could very well be used as a plot device to force the MC, in a way, to step in, help her, show her how much of an actual great guy he is, spend some time together getting to know each other better, and ending up together.

I'm completely fine with you still disagreeing with me on this topic, if this isn't the answer you were looking for, but just read the dev's last few replies in the thread and take into account the fact that he's willing to listen to feedback, do better and tweak the few things that don't make sense storywise or paint the characters in a bad light. That's enough to convince me to be optimistic about the game's future.

My point is, you shouldn't give up on the game so soon. I'm pretty sure the next one or two updates will address this issue... there's no need to take it too seriously, just stick around and see if you like the final result.

 

[xXwankerXx]

I can’t think of a single reason why the MC wouldn’t be on the first flight home.

the best course of action for him would be to return home

How about the succubus or demoness he saw that made him age ~5y in a single night ?? You think that kinda powerful bitch would just let him run away without getting what she expects from him ?? And why the fuck would the MC fly his ass back home with his tail between his legs ?? Just cuz Chloe has a BF and not all women in the game instantly jump on his dick, like it's the case in a lot of non NTR porn games ??

you're wrong about what Chloe thinks of her boyfriend. She doesn't "stick that he is a good guy regardless", she only said he's always been good to her and she doesn't understand why he would do such a thing.

Yep, a clear case of misinterpreting what she said. Chloe never claimed Billy was a saint, just that he was always good to her and treated her nicely, and we all know what a guy's true intentions are when he's too friendly and too good to an attractive woman.

As long as the MC can prevent that and steal Chloe away from him, I won't have anything to complain about on this topic.

If someone acts like that, they are fucking delusional, and that's all there's to it. It goes back to the previous point, they are free to do that, as I should be free to stand from that table.

Just spend the night at Riley's, and nobody's gonna force your MC to play white knight for Chloe, if you don't want him to, ffs. You act like he's forced on 'cleanup' duty after Billy fucks her and nuts inside her holes no matter if you go there or not.