- Jan 27, 2018
- 331
- 266
- Thread starter SaikiKusuo
- Start date
- Aug 21, 2018
- 2,145
- 3,484
Ok - I think there is a bit much pointless monologue, and an overuse of "ha ha ha" after several sentences. Maybe change that to a *ha ha ha*, <laughing> or something like that. Currently I imagine that the person just says "ha ha ha".
And sometimes the narrator-text is marked as MC thoughts.
Oh and when Jasmine sends the msg that you haven't send her the address, the MC still doesn't mention the meeting point, just saying that they will meet there at 16 ...
Later in the icecream shop half of a sentence from the MC is in ... Spanish or something like that.
Then at the cinema - dont know how that works in some countries, but in general you see what movie is running in the cinema before you enter the showroom....
Oh and that the MC is commenting the look of the girls is a bit -- meh? .. First that Missy girl (he says she is hot, but imho i think she is quite ugly) and in the cinema he says that Jasmine is not that hot - and that I cant support. imho she is a lot hotter than tha Missy.
Maybe add choices at both points and let the player choose - then you can use that info how to change some lines later. That doesnt have to have much impact, but I think it is a better feeling for the player.
Oh and dont just jump to the startscreen at the end without a warning. That is a no-go.
Hard to judge, it is as said just a teaser/prologue/intro and there is not much character or world building. Everything feels a bit rough and rushed. But for a first project its not so bad ^^
And sometimes the narrator-text is marked as MC thoughts.
Oh and when Jasmine sends the msg that you haven't send her the address, the MC still doesn't mention the meeting point, just saying that they will meet there at 16 ...
Later in the icecream shop half of a sentence from the MC is in ... Spanish or something like that.
Then at the cinema - dont know how that works in some countries, but in general you see what movie is running in the cinema before you enter the showroom....
Oh and that the MC is commenting the look of the girls is a bit -- meh? .. First that Missy girl (he says she is hot, but imho i think she is quite ugly) and in the cinema he says that Jasmine is not that hot - and that I cant support. imho she is a lot hotter than tha Missy.
Maybe add choices at both points and let the player choose - then you can use that info how to change some lines later. That doesnt have to have much impact, but I think it is a better feeling for the player.
Oh and dont just jump to the startscreen at the end without a warning. That is a no-go.
Hard to judge, it is as said just a teaser/prologue/intro and there is not much character or world building. Everything feels a bit rough and rushed. But for a first project its not so bad ^^
- May 27, 2017
- 1,508
- 4,068
Models look nice but Jasmine can never be a love interest for me...what kind of monster chooses cherry and mint as their favorite ice cream flavors? One can't get no love from me, that's what kind.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 6
- 38
oh shoot i didn't see it, we intend to release a quick hotfix to fix any typos and a few renders by the end of this week, could be earlier but we have some IRL stuff to do this week in college so we're on a short schedule.
The jump in images is a bit jarring. Like going from facing computer to turned away.
The English is a bit weird. Also calling the guy in the tunnel "The hooded man" when he is not hooded at all. His clothes don't even have a hood. He is bald and bearded but not hooded. Put the game through something like grammarly.
need to capitalize all of your i's
Sex scene. Having sex and constantly fully removing the penis from the vagina is gonna lead to a broken dick.
I suggest adding information from the saves to the right of the save since it is a lot of empty space, and allowing for a naming of it. Look at Fetish Locator to get the code.
The English is a bit weird. Also calling the guy in the tunnel "The hooded man" when he is not hooded at all. His clothes don't even have a hood. He is bald and bearded but not hooded. Put the game through something like grammarly.
need to capitalize all of your i's
Sex scene. Having sex and constantly fully removing the penis from the vagina is gonna lead to a broken dick.
I suggest adding information from the saves to the right of the save since it is a lot of empty space, and allowing for a naming of it. Look at Fetish Locator to get the code.
Here's my unofficial android port of Devilish Drug v0.01b
You must be registered to see the links
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
Pay-wall game released in February, they have NO patrons at all, and no updates or posts since mid Feb, so this game appears to have been Abandoned.
- Jul 8, 2018
- 319
- 1,188