as many mentioned, not everybody are playing as "first-person", I seldom do. I mostly play in a third-person perspective.
and the good part is that in some games I can "decide" their fate.
so, if I play a dude, a cyclops or a female, its not that important, whats important is the character itself and the story. if the MC is stupid, I will not like him. the best games for me are female MC, this because usually I can decide what she will do and I can focus on her "corruption" or "progress".
harem games are difficult for me. this because the MC need to be someone likeable, I mean, really likable. since Im the viewer here and want to be entertained that also can "decide" stuff, like go there, do this and that.
even if Im not playing in first-person, I need to like the characters, and not just the MC but all the characters. the MC is just one character in that story, sure, it is focused on him, but the others are also important. is like watching a series, Im not putting myself into any characters, I just follow the story. same here, but it has more interaction and theres choices.