3.30 star(s) 58 Votes

vir_cotto

Engaged Member
Aug 9, 2017
2,859
13,502
OK, finished.

Now, I would say it's great intro - and I really think it is - but I would give a friendly warn TheNeuronProject that most people won't like so much text. I hope you'll do "more showing - less reading" when the story really starts cause that's what most people like.

Unless you only want three or four patrons like me who like to read. :D

Potential is here - just make it more "playable" for a wider crowd.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Look-see

consumptionist

Member
Donor
Aug 7, 2019
330
1,111
its not half bad. a B- for the writing, purely for the lack of spell-checking and grammatical errors.
also, the writing as a whole is so overly forced, it feels like the writer is trying too hard to convey how expansive their knowledge of the English language is without taking into account how it reads or flows.

expression can be a beautiful thing, which the english language does so very well with how expansive it is, but it can also stall a reader when choosing to use less than a simplistic description method to convey a point.

this just feels like a show-piece of knowledge of writing, rather than a story-telling. it just felt like i was working to hard as a reader to stay with the message.
 

-CookieMonster666-

Devoted Member
Nov 20, 2018
11,867
17,597
So are you trying to make a futa centaur or something? If not, the horse's gender should probably match the human's. A mare doesn't have a package hanging down; only stallions have testicles.

Female-Centaur.png
 

TheNeuronProject

Newbie
Donor
Game Developer
Jul 14, 2019
52
837
When offers answer options, the text appears only when you hover over.
When all options are visible, it’s easier to make a decision.
It is that way because people tend to just skip over the offered choices if they see them all, subconsciously gravitating towards the one that gives them the most "rewarding" outcome. But when you must read them one by one without distraction there is a bigger possibility that you actually think about the answer/choice before deciding. While in the 1st chapter this isnt so obvious, further down the road there's gonna be more of the kind of choices that won't reveal which of them gives a "reward"(if at all). The most fitting example right now in the game is when you give your answer to the little sister, there the choices are inverted, meaning the answers are formulated in a way that if you didn't pay attention to the conversation before it, you gonna choose the answer which sounds the most positive, but in reality you are choosing the negative one.
 

TheNeuronProject

Newbie
Donor
Game Developer
Jul 14, 2019
52
837
No incest in the tag. Jesus Christ.
From the F95 tags rules and list:

Rule:
» Do not use tags that aren't currently available in-game/comic even if the creator says they'll be available in the future.

The tag:
» Incest [Sex act between family relatives, including those not related by blood.]

For now there is no content in the game that justifies this tag.
 

BaasB

Trial Moderator
Trial Moderator
Uploader
Donor
Respected User
Aug 5, 2018
23,516
372,107
What a ClusterF Mess of a game, AND DEV i dont what to do math in a adult game....

i hope you fix the Text,Renders and the START up sound.....

Will Keep A Eye on this game

Anyway goodluck with this game, Dev
 
  • Like
Reactions: HunterSeeker
3.30 star(s) 58 Votes