- Apr 29, 2018
- 11,980
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BIThere are a lot of gay men that try and hide it. They get married, have kids but that doesn't make them straight.
Sometimes they end up unhappy and eventually come out, some live the lie all their lives.
One of my wifes best friends was married for 15 years until he eventually told his wife he was gay, they had 2 kids together. Now he's with a man.
Not really man. I've personally knew a friend of mine who is 100% gay but got married and has a kid with a woman. He said it's because of family pressure and "responsibility" to provide them with grandkids. The wife doesn't know he's gay and he's been sleeping with men behind her back.
There is not the slightest possibility that a Gay can have sex with a woman, if he feels 1% attraction out of 99%, he is still BI. That's how I was sure I was Gay, the smell of an excited woman doesn't excite me, quite the contrary, I feel repulsed, I want to vomit (no offense to women).Not really man. I've personally knew a friend of mine who is 100% gay but got married and has a kid with a woman. He said it's because of family pressure and "responsibility" to provide them with grandkids. The wife doesn't know he's gay and he's been sleeping with men behind her back.
I personally doesn't approve it, but this kind of thing does exist especially in conservative countries.
Sex is sex. Mechanically, it feels good. It doesn't matter what your preference is. Its why gay people have straight sex, and straight people have gay sex. In my opinion, sexual orientation plays more on romantic attraction and what gender you want to build a relationship around. If a guy leaves his wife for a man, I'd say he's gay and not bi. Because if he was bi, then if I were him I wouldn't leave need to leave my wife for another guy.There is not the slightest possibility that a Gay can have sex with a woman, if he feels 1% attraction out of 99%, he is still BI. That's how I was sure I was Gay, the smell of an excited woman doesn't excite me, quite the contrary, I feel repulsed, I want to vomit (no offense to women).
nitobe-san: Ah thanks for putting to words! I was about to comment the same thing last night, but I fell asleep lol.Sex is sex. Mechanically, it feels good. It doesn't matter what your preference is. Its why gay people have straight sex, and straight people have gay sex. In my opinion, sexual orientation plays more on romantic attraction and what gender you want to build a relationship around. If a guy leaves his wife for a man, I'd say he's gay and not bi. Because if he was bi, then if I were him I wouldn't leave need to leave my wife for another guy.
You're wrong, that's homophobic bisexual thinking. A person does not stop being Bi for having a heteronormative relationship, or becoming Gay for having a Homosexual relationship. The person is always Bi, the meaning of Bi is precisely people who are attracted to both sexes, no matter how much they are in a relationship, they still feel attraction, although many repress it out of prejudice.Sex is sex. Mechanically, it feels good. It doesn't matter what your preference is. Its why gay people have straight sex, and straight people have gay sex. In my opinion, sexual orientation plays more on romantic attraction and what gender you want to build a relationship around. If a guy leaves his wife for a man, I'd say he's gay and not bi. Because if he was bi, then if I were him I wouldn't leave need to leave my wife for another guy.
He feels sexual attraction, which also configures as a Heterosexual relationship, which makes him Bi for also feeling the same with men. I can't have that, it's not like I can turn off what I was born to feel, or turn on what I was born not to feel. I will always be attracted to men, even though I am married to the man I love, and I only have eyes for him, I can't deny that I will still be attracted to other men, but I don't love them, I love my man. And I don't feel the same way about women, that makes me a Gay man.nitobe-san: Ah thanks for putting to words! I was about to comment the same thing last night, but I fell asleep lol.
Babispo: I actually thought of the same thing an suspected that he might be bi, and asked him like 7 months ago? He did say that he can get off with his wife, but it was more of a mechanical aspect rather than emotional attraction. He said it was like doing it with a (I'm sorry it sounds so impolite and rude) sex sleeve/doll? But you know, more warmer and stuff. He also said that he feels guilty every time he had sex with her and nowadays rarely doing it, even if she asked.
To each their own. If it affirms your belief that if a man has a inkling of attraction to a woman that it means that your bi then that's for you. But sexual attraction doesn't necessitate romantic attraction. I've had my fair share of straight men and they've mostly gotten married by now. And I don't feel them at all uncomfortable when they interact with me since I've put it clearly that the sex we had was just sex. And I also don't put out offers for sex with straight people, only take them. Although one of them did ended up becoming bi, and another being full gay, I make it a point never to convince them they could be. There's nothing more agonizing than the fallout of a sexual identity crisis.He feels sexual attraction, which also configures as a Heterosexual relationship, which makes him Bi for also feeling the same with men. I can't have that, it's not like I can turn off what I was born to feel, or turn on what I was born not to feel. I will always be attracted to men, even though I am married to the man I love, and I only have eyes for him, I can't deny that I will still be attracted to other men, but I don't love them, I love my man. And I don't feel the same way about women, that makes me a Gay man.
And something so simple to understand, that people insist on trying to complicate it, or invalidate it. Although there are many Bisexual people in the world, most of them closeted by prejudice or confusion, there are Gays and Lesbians, and I don't want to be compared to Bisexuals, since I'm not like them (unfortunately).
I can't even begin to unpack this. I've met people who used to be bi, or at least call themselves that, until they met their significant others. It's hard to hold a double preference when your engaged in a monogamous relationship. And yes, they may never shake off the inkling of glancing at a fine ass, male or female. But calling yourself bi hardly calls for anything if your fucking the one person for a long time. Labels can be as self-destructive as they are life-affirming. If both us met Chuckshirley's friend, whatever the dude is going through its not our place to tell him what he should be. And I'm pretty sure some people on other threads have mentioned they like the gay but their not gay.You're wrong, that's homophobic bisexual thinking.
And that's how you know you're gay. Thankfully, I've never had the experience of being told to be straight. However the world has treated us, let's try at least not to push our beliefs on anyone too harshly. I never had a problem affirming my sexual orientation and preference. Found out when lesbian porn didn't do it for me and learned that I focused more on the dick in straight porn. I still think straight porn is hot though, even though I would never engage in any sexual activity with a woman. But I understand the notion that, if I were straight I would be. Life is hard enough, harder still when you're gay.If I had 1% romantic or sexual attraction to women, I would work through it, and I wouldn't have suffered so much in my life, I'm tired, and I don't want people to put me through that again.
There's no need for them to go around "replicating" it. Biologically, men are always eager to stick their dick into anything when they're horny be it man, woman, or animal. Or rather, tops will always do. A lot of bottoms like playing with their ass in the respect, and I've met at least one bottom who once tried getting pegged by a girl and liked it. But that's hardly the rub.These Men are not Heterosexual, they are Bisexual, and you are just feeding them homophobia, they will go around replicating it, and making people like me suffer. Homosexual, Bisexual, Heterosexual is not something you choose, it is not changeable, it is not related to psychology (they have tried to treat this in the past, which caused many Gays to suffer with the "Gay Cure"), it is related to DNA, to Sex.
Interesting, so I'm not a man. I'm Top, I've heard something similar from my mother, she said Gay and only Bottom.There's no need for them to go around "replicating" it. Biologically, men are always eager to stick their dick into anything when they're horny be it man, woman, or animal. Or rather, tops will always do. A lot of bottoms like playing with their ass in the respect, and I've met at least one bottom who once tried getting pegged by a girl and liked it. But that's hardly the rub.
If you're point is that those people are born to their preferences, then yes. You cannot change it. Maybe these straight guys I've been with might have been a little gay. But what they want more is completely up to them. I certainly didn't choose to be gay, but I like being gay even if it might have been better if I wasn't. I like who I am right now.
And the term homophobia is being used to loosely here. It's not homophobic in not wanting a relationship with a guy, even if you've kissed and fucked a ton. But throwing you under the bus for not wanting to be associated with you in public isn't being homophobic. They're just assholes. And probably every homophobe you've met were just assholes to begin with before they were homophobes.
To be honest, most homophobia stem from lack of understanding. Apart from fucking men and wearing flashy underwear, there's hardly anything about me that you'd expect to be "gay". A lot of people associate being gay with everything gay culture when its not. I've literally had to explain to dozens people I've met that being gay is just one part of my identity, not the whole. I like getting fucked in the ass, but doesn't mean I'm gonna start watching drag race (although I've heard good things about it). I enjoy looking at men in fine suits, but I hardly know anything about fashion. And a lot of people don't know that cause why would they, they're not gay. They didn't understand that I'm not gonna suddenly conform to gay stereotypes. In my opinion the loud, vocal, in your face types of people have done more harm by pushing people who won't about gays away. If you actually talk to people and they want to listen, you'll be surprised at how quick they can understand. And if they don't and still think you're wrong for being gay, then thanks for hearing me out let's never talk again ever.
But yeah, you sound like you went through a lot of tough situations. But just since it seems relevant, the game in this thread was made by GameGrumps, two dudes who are totally straight and are completely comfortable with their sexuality.