VN - Ren'Py - Elleria [v0.7 Ch. 3] [M.C Games]

The plot has potential to be great. There is also a good amount of content given it has been out for a little under a year. Player choices are minimal

It seems the developer is going for an aura of mystery but they are going about it the wrong way. It is routinely implied that the MC is having important conversations with characters and yet the player never gets to see any of the conversations. It just skips to the next scene and the player is in the dark about what is going on. This is confusing, and makes it difficult to follow the plot and get into the story

The LI are written decently enough, but the MC is a soulless buzzkill. The developer tries to portray the MC as calculating and cold, but the MC is just cold. There is no good reasoning for the way the MC interacts with other characters. The MC feels more like a NPC than a main character

This is also not the most polished game - semi-frequent spelling mistakes and there is routine poor word choice

I would rate this 2.5, but rounding down in this instance for now. The MC being the weakest link in the VN makes it tough to rate this any higher.

A good VN game. This is not your typical visual novel where sex scenes appear every other minute. Instead, it’s a game with an actual story to tell. It reminds me of several fantasy games and movies, which is definitely not a bad thing. The scenery is stunning, the characters are interesting, and the music in this game is great.

English:............7/10
User Interface:.....5/10
User Experience:....7/10
Art:................7/10
Dialogue:...........3/10
Story:..............4/10
Opinion:............3/10................
Avg:.............5.14/10 [2.57/5]

I know exactly ZERO about this game. I've passed it over and blocked it out of my memory, I guess. The issue I have with the game, before starting, is the description says NOTHING. MC was a paladin and you can make choices in the game. Wow. It's all fluff text and the actual description is hidden at the end of the spoiler. Why? Are you not confident in your game that you have to include a quote from Kingdom of Heaven? This is also the 5th game in recent memory that uses this same renpy template. It's actually hilarious because they included a "Dialogue Box Opacity" slider and couldn't figure out how to match the styling for it so there's a default red slider that is very... Front and center. So, while they "customized" the UI, it's just a store asset, like everything else. But I guess the dumb quote is thematic in the sense MC waxes poetic in the opening about the world for...? No idea. A battle-hardened fanatic that became a paladin in the name of god SUDDENLY questions his faith because the writer wants it to happen. From what I can tell, the first little chunk of dialogue is all fairly well edited. I read the reviews and saw the story and English are issues. So at first I was hopeful to see it edited. But the Steam description even has poor English. So I'm not gonna hold my breath that this does anything but get worse. I'm also seeing others actually criticizing it having a black screen time skip where all the meat and potatoes is supposed to happen. I'm not there yet, but if OTHER people, besides me, actually call it out, I might bash my head agaist the corner of my desk from the frustration. Either way, I'm gonna give it a fair enough shake. There's already the minor points against it, but I'm a sucker for world building and dialogue so maybe I can be pleasantly surprised.

As said, this starts with MC suddenly changing his fundamental belief system on the battlefield. How or why he suddenly thinks killing in the name of god is bad? Your guess is as good as mine. But then we skip 500 years in the future? I think? How MC did this? Who fucking knows. But guess what? Do you like Skyrim? Because wagon meme!?! MC is on a wagon somewhere, travelling with Lyria, an Elf. Humans usually hate elves and they ridicule MC for travelling with her. But MC is so over everything he doesn't care. Oh, and they've NEVER spoken in their 5 years together before this point. Somehow they've never seen all these sights that they're going to see before now. Because writing is hard. It's so weird, almost every conversation, that Lyria starts by the way, she prefaces with "We've never spoken before now so how do you feel about XYZ?" And she's very keen on getting him to look at her naked too. But too bad MC is just this workhorse that never had time for women, only wanted money. They go out of their way to show how forward she is, but they've also made it clear neither of them have existed before the opening of this story. So their chemistry just doesn't work. And MC, as usual, just internalizes everything. Yeah, he's grateful for her presence but he's just "too tough" to say it aloud. The part that frustrates me more is she's made it clear she's lived longer than him, but he somehow has to tell her about every place they go. Which means MC already knows everything and you, the reader, get expository dialogue FROM MC to you. It's always weird, and kinda boring, when MC knows everything. He's supposed to be the player insert, but if he never needs to know anything, what is the point of the journey? EVENTUALLY, MC is given a task from some priestess, to clear out their temple. MC and Lyria have to find it and somehow she knows where it is? On top of cutting out them travelling there to find it, she, who seems to have never been to this area, knew how to find a secluded temple? This all feels so weird to me. Especially how MC has to tell her how careful they need to be. She's not a teenager, but acts like one.

I don't do this much, but I want to interject with how I FEEL about the game so far. Frankly, I'm so unbelievably bored, it's more effort continuing than anything. I just don't care about the characters. This feels like another game about the Vexations of a Wizard, because I'm not allowed to say the name because...? This site is trash. Either way, this protagonist is the same as that one. He doesn't want to deal with anything. He already knows everything. His companions are in love with him even though his personality can be summed up with "irritable and slightly driven." The dialogue is all either "as you know" or "remember the time" nothings. So I don't care about the characters, I don't like the dialogue, the story isn't established at all, and I'm bored on top of it. What is going on? By NO MEANS do you need to come out the gates swinging with a story. You don't need to dangle sex for the gooners, you don't need an epic battle for action fans. You just need to give the player/reader a good reason to give a shit. But "40 year old virgin man with no patience and is disillusioned by the world" is the state of everything right now. That's not a character that's interesting.

I've digressed a whole-ass paragraph, nice. Anyway, by this point, MC and Lyria have already completed a mission and traveled to multiple cities but nothing has happened. The mission was MC walked into a palace said "Hey, leave" and they did. All the while Lyria, a long-lived ELF, acts like a spoiled teenager. I think this might be written by the people who do Rings of Power. This is one of them Galadriel Elves. They made some money, are dead broke and MC says "Keep it below two silvers" so she just spends 150% that because she's a girl that likes pretty clothes? It's so weird to me that a character that would be ostracized by her race and has lived on the road for at least 5 years now, suddenly wants to go on a shopping spree for clothes because they got paid. My only guess is that they bought a new outfit asset for the DAZ model and wanted to explain it away. After all that, MC is exposited some dialogue about the north for no discernable reason and they go there. So now, we're on our way to a THIRD city and nothing still has happened. If nothing else, I'm glad they talk about her spending too much, but it falls flat when MC basically says "I don't like to deal with mad women." If not buying her new clothes would have done that, she is a child. Throwing a temper tantrum about clothes? I already don't like her. And EVERY SINGLE CHOICE has been meaningless. Every choice has been either say "I don't want to do that" or "No, I don't want to do that." What the hell is this? You get MAYBE three lines of dialogue that affect nothing and they just continue on. Even then, both choices are essentially the same every time. So the sentiment isn't even different. And again with this "Remember when we first met five years ago, we really haven't ever spoken before this exact moment, let us speak now." It does no favors. And when they stop to rest in front of bushes that are poorly made, she leans in to MC to tell him how good a man he is and that she'll always stay with him. Again, WHY? He even starts thinking "Hmm.. I don't know how old she is or anything about her past. Oh well, another time then." No! This is a rest stop on a journey to nowhere, this is the perfect time to ask a question about someone you've spent every day with for the last half a decade. Come on.

I was about to eat my words when MC started asking her questions but they were all dumb superficial questions. As if you go to Russia and ask about the Russian Revolution. The most he tried to ask is "how old are you?" but because in this moment she is a woman, not an elf, she says "that's rude" and moves on. How are all the races so secluded from one another but still act the same? It's almost like it's just empty world-building. I want to point out that there is almost a transition between every line, because the dev decided to render images for when they're talking and to change the depth of field a little too much. All this does, to fast readers like me, is make me have to click multiple times to get to the NEXT line of dialogue, it's very annoying. Only to suddenly have her jump into his tent and sleep with him. I genuinely do not care about forced sex scenes, and that isn't my issue here. But no choice, no dialogue, no character building would lead me to believe that they should have slept together here. Every choice is flavor text. Their banter is her talking to MC and him going "Hmm. Sure." And she basically begs him for it. Not to mention they JUST got done saying elves only ever take one lover their entire life. So in 40 years, when he dies that's it. (We won't get into his everlasting life ever, but still) This scene feels like it happened out of convenience, not romance, lust, or to even benefit the story. "We're making a night scene let's do a sex" that's what it feels like. When then finally get to the guild, that they had no plans to go to before the minute they mentioned it, I've confirmed that a writer of RoP must be involved in this. A blonde woman named "Tempest?" Come on, you can't be serious. And around this time the characters just start calling MC "Magnus." His last name, which they've never done before this moment. Which makes it feel like they made a mistake, addressing him as such.

MC eventually meets "The Guild Master" some weirdo that wears a mask for no reason. You know what you get out of this riveting conversation? MORE EXPOSITORY DIALOGUE THAT BOTH CHARACTERS ALREADY KNOW. None of this feels natural. It's all just MC telling people their own history, or like telling a church-goer the story of the bible. You know what you COULD have done? Had a character that didn't know this, better yet, have MC not know any of this. So it doesn't just feel like boring exposition. The biggest joke is MC is traveling north because he heard about it in passing, and now he's being asked to go north specifically because something is going on. Wow, so the story is now "You wanted to go to the store, and someone asked you to pick up more things at the store." What an epic tale. What's more is the guild master doesn't have a lot of time but most of their time was MC talking about some goddess they both already know. Waste of time. And when MC is asked to do the thing he was already doing, he no longer wants to do it because he was asked. Seriously? And when they get Elvira to tag along, apparently her and MC used to date then stopped because MC just... stopped? You get no information AT ALL about what their relationship might have been like. Here, MC even goes to find her, only to leave? The scene starts like this: MC goes to find Elvira, asks what she's doing, then tries to leave when she tells him? What? Why? Why go to her only to leave? I could understand if it was avoiding a hard conversation, but it wasn't even on the wind yet. He just said hi and bye. And MC won't even go into why it didn't work with her, much less what even happened. And all of a sudden MC and Lyria are close enough to hug, kiss, and act like lovesick teens. I ask again: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? It sure as hell wasn't on screen. And when they get to YET ANOTHER TOWN, all you see is MC haggle for a sword and a black screen skip. What the hell is going on? The entire visit could have been two lines of "Your party travels to a town for supplies. Nothing of note happens." Three things have happened in the story so far, a priestess of... something gave them a job, they met Elvira, and the worlds longest travel montage.

Soon after, Lyria goes missing during a CUT TO BLACK. There was no establishing text, no thoughts, no discussion. SUDDENLY it's the next day and SUDDENLY she's gone. SUDDENLY a GIANT DRAGON is the cause. How far could she have gone to not have seen or heard a big dragon in a snowy flat plain? Then, Time skip 3 months as the goddess of darkness revives him after the dragon attack and sends him to her worshippers. Time skip yet again as he does whatever in that place. The priestess even comments on the long talks they had during the time skip. Maybe BUILD A CHARACTER? Elaborate? Let the player be a part of the damn story. Being a player that was just told they trained a lot and had long discussions instead of seeing anything is a JOKE. They don't even say what they talked about, it's so purposefully vague that they should have just skipped it all in the black screen "I stayed there for weeks training and talking to the Priestess. They handed me a scroll with more instructions as I left." But no, filler filler filler. (And right at this point the English started to really go awry.) Upon meeting Aria, you learn that MC is indeed famous. So it, AGAIN, just copies MC from the other game. Come on, be a little original. And for all the skipping and black screens, MC has the most LONG-WINDED speech to Aria that literally just repeats "before you say no hear me out." over and over. It's almost comical how many times he actually says it. So he says "let me speak" then the DEV SKIPS THE DISCUSSION?! Are you kidding me? I had to listen to him blow gas for 10 minutes only for it to skip ahead? This type of writing is shit. It's CREATING a mystery box just to reveal it to you, the player, later. Not making any sort of plot for you to interact with or gain intrigue. Fuck you, this story will surprise you because I won't tell you anything. What a slap in the face. You don't even get to hear her terms for accepting the deal you didn't hear. I'm at a loss for words with how fucking dumb this is. And to add to my frustration, the writer just adds commas wherever they damn well please.

So this VN has two writing habits: Skip the important bits or have MC tell characters things they already know. MC and Aria sit down to talk and outside of her questioning him somehow giving a vibe he's lost a loved one, she asks him to tell her, her background. So not only are you reminded MC apparently loves Lyria for no discernable reason, but then have to sit through MC telling Aria why she's in her current situation. It's like listening to someone describe what happens in a movie. Instead of showing it, or learning over time through her, LORE DUMP all at once, fuck you, reader. Then they transform MC into the cringelord MC from yet another AVN. MC also changes personality-wise here as well. Suddenly he's a complete chatterbox, even if he says otherwise. Earlier in the ride he said "I only talk when I have something to say" then at night he says "It's too quiet, let's talk" Pick a lane. He's either the quiet brooding type that people fall in love with for no reason, or the talkative, debate-heavy one that everyone falls in love with for no reason. Either way, Aria pushes for sex as soon as a night scene is rendered. Can't wait for Morgana to be the same later on. It's so frustrating every time, there's a cut and you're just at your next destination without knowing why you went there, where you went, or how long it took. It's getting hard to comment on a story where every important piece of information is skipped over with a hard cut. The only time you have a conversation is when you meet a character for the first time. You get the first couple nights dealing with their personality, sleep with them, then everything is skipped. And there's a point IT EVEN SKIPS THE SEX SCENES. IN A SEX GAME. This is a joke, right? You have to be kidding me. I genuinely DO NOT CARE about the amount of sex in an AVN, but that is 99% of the reason people click download, to see sex. You can't skip the thing most people want out of something that is literally made solely for that. And DO NOT try to tell me this was made for a story, you've skipped all the important parts that make a story, a story.

By chapter two, I'm checked out. Wow, hooray, Lyria is back. A character with, well, no actual character. She is an elf and loves MC. Did I miss anything? Spoiler alert, no. I didn't miss her, no matter how much the stupid cave trials wanted me to think I did. I will concede and say cool, there's interpersonal drama. Usually these stories are filled with "world building"(or bare minimum plot building) and forget to add people that have issues with each other. As for how long it goes on, I can't say for the moment. Though, with what little dialogue there was with her, she pretty much said "I'll do good or evil as long as I'm with you" so I'm not holding my breath. Even though we all know this story is gonna go one way. MC will just about achieve his goal WHATEVER IT IS, and then have to be evil for two seconds because a plan is thwarted. Did you catch that? We still do not know what it is MC is even doing. Instead of how a plan unfolds being the mystery, what the plan is at all is the mystery. But only to YOU, the reader. Lo and Behold, she spits exactly what I said at MC and says "Grr I'm still mad at you, though." Back to the ..."Plot" Eris sent MC to this isolated fort for the plan we still don't know and alluded to a solution to it being so far away from everything. But another problem arises in that the fort has a bunch of portals to everywhere, which solves the first problem and will more than likely not be a problem at all. And I thought THAT was going to be the solution to which Eris was referring to in the first place. But no, It's a problem because it's the only thing on screen at the moment. (Future Jnx here, the solution Eris alludes to is never returned to again. She never brings it up and no one cares about travel time anymore anyway)And when MC FINALLY asks Lyria a question about her, she says "I'm not gonna tell you" Not only has MC said almost everything to her, we, the reader, know NOTHING about her. Suddenly her face tattoos are gone and we don't know what's happened with her all this time. Nope, she came for "...angry" sex with MC. You have to be kidding me. And not only that, but HOW DID SHE FIND MC? As far as what we the readers know, MC has been to one place, to get Yana out of jail. What could she track from MC being teleported by a god? If anyone knows, I'm all ears. And don't worry, the dev FINALLY put a time card up to tell you it's cutting to two weeks later. Great. There's so much we already don't know, let's know even less.

Apparently, MC did NOTHING for those two weeks, and when called on his bullshit his retort is "What are you jealous?" MC has conscripted a party of talented people to supposedly end all wars forever somehow, and when pressed about moving forward he acts like a sad teenager? He's never been like this, as far as we're told, so now he has to act like an idiot because...? An elf with no character traits found him again? So guess what that means, the writer even skipped the drama. Nice. And when Aria and Lyria talk about MC, Aria acts as if MC has gone through some life changing experince, and his whole worldview is different. But the only change we, the reader, can see is he talks more. None of anything that's happened has seemed to have made any impact on him. But I also want to say that they act like they're on some time crunch to change the world but, last time I checked, LITERALLY NO ONE knows what they're doing. They have not started any plan. The fort they're in has not been used in hundereds of years. They're backed by a god. Oh and they haven't DONE ANYTHING yet. Why are they acting like they're so pressed for time? Am I missing something? The only thing I could think is Aria is actually jealous and she's sick of looking at MC be depressed? But he hasn't been and she shouldn't be. This is supposed to be the "planning phase" and a section to ask questions, but the questions and answers are laughable at best. "What can we do? What are possibilities?" to which she says "We can do whatever you want" Wow, great... "What kind of resources do we have?" Her answer? "Whatever you need we can get" Okay, starting to look like non-answers. "Is diplomacy an option?" "Yes and no." I'm starting to get pissed off. "Will there be a war?" "Dunno, try to hold off on that." And finally: "Why am I not on the front lines?" "You're too important." Now, if I rubbed my temples any harder, I'd be clasping my hands together. This is the most empty story and dialogue I've heard in a long while. And make NO mistake, this is trying to be a story. Oh, and before I forget, apparently, they moved to ANOTHER abandoned castle in the middle of nowhere, completely unceremoniously. So you didn't know that until this conversation. Are you kidding me? They now have two bases in the middle of nowhere, for no known reason. Great.

The only justified mystery is how MC knows Eris. She's already admitted, to his face, she's in love with him. It's the only thing MC and the player are both in the dark about. I'm dead certain it will be revealed in some attempt to be emotional with Eris later, which I'm not looking forward to. All this leading to THE ACTUAL FIRST CHOICE IN THE WHOLE GAME. If it actually affects anything, I'd be shocked, but you can either send Yana or Lyria to go scouting. And since Yana has had maybe a total of 10 lines in the game, I chose her because I somehow care even less about her than the aforementioned elf with no character traits. It's also here you learn MC didn't tell Lyria about the goddess. So we didn't even know that he didn't tell her. Nice. Do you see how withholding information from the reader is a bad thing? It ain't rocket surgery. Then to suddenly have MC be this "You WILL do as I say" vapid overlord type is about as insufferable as not knowing what the hell is going on. And MC SAYS he's super fast and super strong now as well. When did that happen? We've seen no training. We've seen no spells. Hell, we've not even heard this before this exact moment. Have I said we know nothing about anything yet, because we don't. All for the game to halt and say "You're in semi-roam mode" are you serious? We've made ONE (singular) choice up to this point. And now you're adding a pointless linear sandbox to the game that still has no story? I'm sad to repeat this but, are you kidding me? It's not even a good looking one, it's all based in menu choices. This is ridiculous. And the choice made NO DIFFERENCE, by the way. Whatever she did happened off-screen, and you make the same choice again. You have no idea how much time passed or how long it took, it just happened because magic or something. Then, after another time skip, MC approaches Aria for no reason and is pushed away. Why did you bookend a time skip with a useless scene? There's no good flow to the storytelling here. All of the sex scenes have had nothing to do with anything before it. Aria comes onto MC again and she acts like she's been longing for him. But no character ever shows what they're feeling until a sex scene is nearby. Not only that but MC doesn't seem to care. Even beyond that, every sex scene is the same. "She approaches him. Jerks him off as if she's never had hands before. She sits on top. Then ends in missionary position." So even the "fun bits" aren't too fun. Yikes.

If we really want to be here, all day, having me recite all the ways the game just doesn't tell you things, by all means. But it's kind of tiring pointing out every time the writer is basically says "I'm not gonna tell you shit." Aria, the strongest mage, compatible with all forms of magic, tells MC "I can't teach you anything about your special magic, and might or might not be able to teach you other things but who knows." What this tells you is at some point in the future, MC will suddenly be able to control time when it is most dramatically fitting. You know, if the battle isn't skipped by the writer. MC asks Eris for advice and she says "Don't move too fast or too slow. And don't be too aggressive or passive." That's not advice. She literally told him what he said he was worried about. That's it. As of finally getting to chapter 3 I'm kinda done. Aria is the only character given any effort. She shows no emotion until a sex scene happens and is doing 90% of the work. Eris is in love with MC for the same reasons as Lyria, none. Yana sits there and complains the whole time. Morgana is a character made to embody the name she has. She's almost disney villain material, but nothing special. And finally, Lyria has all but disappeared from the game. MC is still uninteresting and the only tie I have, is knowing if he's lived for 500 years or just reincarnated later. I don't even care about what they're trying to do. It sure as hell won't be told to the player until it happens, so I won't lose sleep over not knowing it. At best, this is the literary form of edging. They get to a plot point then stop telling you anything and skip ahead. When something finally does happen, Sauron pops out of a portal and yells at MC about his "meddling." But my only question is WHAT HAS HE EVEN DONE YET? They're still in a preparation phase. They, OFF-SCREEN mind you, have somehow "taken over" a village. How and what they're doing there? I don't know. They made a portal to glowing rocks? I guess? And took over two abandoned castles. Nothing has happened outside a dragon and Saouron attacking. So I would love it if the writer stopped acting like things are going on. MC is even approached by Inara, said she's predictable, and that Eris has told him all about her. But wait a minute... No, no she hasn't! If she did it was during a time skip. She ACTIVELY avoided talking about her sister. So this big moment for MC to defy her is meaningless because the player knows NOTHING about Inara. So, again, I ask that if someone knows ANYTHING that's really happened in this story, you're invited to tell me.

And with the end of current content, my interest has also come and gone. I just don't care. Plain and simple. If I don't know what's going on and there are only TWO choices in the game, that don't even seem to matter, mind you, then this is a kinetic novel that doesn't even tell you the story. I really don't know a better way to put it. The English is not terrible. But I will say I know just from reading it the writer doesn't speak English, so 7 is as high as it will get. The UI/UX is an itchio asset that is in so many games, that I'm not gonna call it customized. Especially with the opacity slider in default red. The Art is nothing special. I've seen all the models infinite times before and the posing is stiff a lot of the time, especially during sex. The dialogue and story are never given to you. There are a couple decent conversations, but they usually end up as lore dumps. The ONLY one that isn't as egregious is the last one with the Shadow at the end of current content. How is it that the most "human" conversation is with a person that gave up their individuality?? ALL the LIs are nothing. They like MC because he is the MC. There is no romance, no lust, no intrigue, nothing. Things are happening only during a black screen and you are told about it... Never? I guess? I can't wait for Elvira to show up again. Especially since Lyria already made it clear she's a subservient cuckquean to share MC. For no good reason. This needs SERIOUS refactoring and I really don't know how anyone could save this. I might check in again after a few updates, but with how bad of a taste in my mouth I don't really want to. I can understand what the writer is trying to do, but their habits make it a terrible reading experience. It's as if they assume the picture in their head is the one you see when you read this, even though this is a VISUAL novel. Show, don't tell.

Good graphics, good models, excellent writing, Given the use of modern phrasing and linguistic Id like to see more sex and dirty talk but hey that's my jam and not everyone elses.
That said its an excellent work so far. While there are choices I am not as convinced they actually have any impact in to the end results of the game.
I found no issues or bugs which frankly is more rare than one would like to believe around here and the movements of the models are done well.
All in all its a good game and I am ooking forward to the next installment which is something I don't get say about many games here!

I rarely rate anything on this site, and I almost never give a 100% rating. Elleria will be an exception. If you are looking for a quick toss keep looking. This one is not for you. If you do enjoy fantasy literature in a beautiful VN that immerses you and has top graphics and art equal with any RPG video game title then add this to your watch list and enjoy. The soundtrack is great as well as the stunning artwork.

Do not expect to collect LI's for a permanent harem. They come into prominence to further the story and then fade into the background as the story is driven forward. If you are expecting to have choice on collecting trophy LI's you will be disappointed. Mystic is telling a fantasy story not creating a typical porn game.

Overall: 2

I am unable to process the intention of the story here. It feels like there is no goal, no objective that is being clearly articulated to the player. The narrative was so drawn out that it was a struggle to get through the whole game. NO "REAL" CHOICES EITHER. I understand the slow start at the prologue and Ch. 1, as I am getting to know the characters. However, after unanswered questions after unanswered questions, it makes the game's narrative drawn out and a bore. I can't stress this enough to put a kinetic tag on a game where you have no intention to make impactful choices a part of the game loop. As each of the LIs present themselves to the MC, I am neither intrigued nor emotionally swayed by their character. The choices feel so dull as to the rest of the game's writing. The MC is unnaturally angry most of the time which makes his character flat like that's the only emotion he is capable of exhibiting, and yet all the females fall to their knees for him. I didn't have to make any choices to sway them that way, the "scene" just happens. This is a bad case of not knowing what makes a VN a VN, and how important it is to engage your audience to the characters and the ideas you want to share. At this point this game lacks all that spark of a compelling and interesting Visual Novel.

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Art: 3/5

DAZ models to be expected, but none of them exhibit emotion nor facial expressions. The renders are sometimes unnaturally dark in places where light is expected to pass through.

Writing: 2/5
The writing at the start of the prologue wasn't bad. Not bad at all. However, as the game progresses you are left questioning what's the hero (MC) goal. The LIs have no substance, and all just drop to their knees for the MC. I didn't even make any choices, and I was still able to get with them. What's the point of choices or using Ren'Py then? Some scenes felt unnaturally placed/structured to where the MC goes from talking to someone then cuts to him fighting then cuts to him in another environment. Like....what is going on?

Very cool game! Decent plot, nice scenes, good music, and the atmosphere of the game is well made. There's a thing here and there that I don't liked, but it's go for my own tastes, not the game fault.
5 starts!

This story is so captiviting I would not dare to skip even a single piece of its writing.
This update come around quickly as well which was a great surprise...

One of if not the best game out now!!! absolutely love your work and can't wait for more...

I love this VN, an interesting plot and not just a series of scenes strung together. I like the approach where you can choose how to approach the mission, but it could include more variations. I am excited to see how this project develops and will keep an eye on it.

I really want to like this game, as the art work is really good, but this game feels like a poor man's Seeds of Chaos. The plot is kind of the same: MC is tasked by a powerful "evil" person to destroy a corrupt system of government. But unlike Seeds of Chaos, the MC's motives feel wrong.

In Seeds of Chaos, Rowan's motives are because he's wife is hostage to the evil force and/or he actually hates the nobles who rule the world because they looked down upon him despite being a literal Hero Who Saved The World. In this game, the MC starts as a guy who has lived for 1000 years after dying in a war for a god who never existed and now is just an adventurer who doesn't age. Until he dies from the dragon and meets Eris never once talks about the state of the world, those who rule it, or anything. He's just lost, living without purpose but make coin to eat. So his shift later after he dies to suddenly have an issue with the ruling class and wanting to burn society down makes no sense. And his sudden change of heart on gods also is dumb as he's spent 1000 years not believing in them or actively hating them to suddenly being willing to work with one of the "evil" gods is also a stretch. Then everyone around him is awful and annoying. Everyone's egos default to asshole, including the MC, and I would rather just kill everyone than deal with their Bullshit™, the MC included. And to be honest, once the game goes into "semi-freeroam" mode, I was done. There is no reason for it as really all you can do is do every scene that pops up and sleeps.

A small minor issue I also have is the "virgin lets you have an open relationship" trope here. Lyria tells you that Elves choose one partner for life, then chooses you but the moment your ex comes back into the picture, she's suddenly opened to you screwing around. I hate this trope in Fetish Locator, WVM, and others as it's never truly done right. It's always immediate and only is done to give the harem option without having to work for it. It's a lazy trope and I wish people would stop using it or learn how to build up to it. (Midlife Crisis kinda does this with the Wife route. It's slow, makes sense in the story, and feels more rewarding once it's played out. The MC nudges the wife towards the idea and lets her choose to experiment on this path. It's not perfect, but it's at least better done.)

The last thing that I really dislike is that choices don't feel like they got much weight to them. Maybe this will change later on, but when you talk about dealing with the village near you base, the choice is pretty much made for you to kill them, you just decide how you want to do it. Which sucks as someone does suggest talking to the leader and the MC completely dismisses it. It feels like every "choice" is less a choice and instead which mood you want to be in when you say "Yes". If that's what you are going for, I would suggest just making a Kinetic Novel instead of giving the illusion of choice.

All and all, this game really needs to be put back in the oven and let cook more. Right now, it's a concept of a story but I feel like the writer is making each chapter up as they go instead of building an outline then writing the story. The character's motives and personalities change scene to scene and choices don't feel like choices. The only good thing going for it right now is the art.

This comes down to two main things: the writing (mainly, the writer's lack of fluency in English), and the sex.
The good: the girls are solid looking, and have (I think - it can be hard to tell at times) reasonably fleshed out personalities.
the bad: The sex scenes are brief, and not very good, so they're unrewarding.
In chapter 1, the English is a bit clunky, but I can understand almost all of what the writer is trying to say. It was just good enough to keep me playing. In chapter 2, it suddenly lost coherency. I struggled to understand much of it, and what I could understand was poor. That ended things for me pretty quickly. Normally, novice writers get better as they progress. I'm not sure what happened here, but it got a lot worse.
So even if you start it and like it, there's a good chance you'll just end up more frustrated for it.

This last part is, at least partially, for the writer:
One further problem, (which is compounded by the difficulty understanding some details of what is actually revealed to the reader), is that the writer doesn't understand the difference between a mystery, and, I'm going to call it, inflicted ignorance. At key junctures, the protagonist is given critical knowledge that is deliberately withheld from the reader. It's not good. Basically, you're given no indication of what the protagonist's plans are beyond what is right in front of you. I know that there's a rule that the more the audience knows about a plan, the worse the plan will go, but that doesn't mean the writer should conceal EVERYTHING. If the plan is, say "build an army of irregulars that can overthrow some bad guys", tell the reader that that's the plan, and it can still proceed with neither the story being predictable nor the plan failing. Key details can be revealed at choice times, but the reader shouldn't feel like they're given the perspective of the protagonist's dog. Not that this protagonist has a dog. There's a scene where the protagonist leaves an area, and people talk cryptically about him behind his back. That is one of the correct ways to do a mystery. It's a shame the rest of the story isn't like that.
It's not hopeless, but I'm not going to hold my breath; I'm very doubtful this game will ever reach a place that is satisfying and rewarding to the players.

I really wanted to like this game but couldnt...

Lets start with the obvious positive... The Models are lovely and unique.

Unfortunately however, having pretty things to look at does not save this game.

The story is lacking, disjointed and poorly written. There are massive gaps where the dev just "fades to black" and you jump forward missing what appear to be critical story plot points.

The MC is also poorly written, he acts like an arse to the LIs for no reason and is just plainly unlikeable.

As i said at the beginning, i really tried to like this game as the LIs all look good. and i like the fantasy world story arcs normally.

But This game apart from nice models, fails everywhere else and is a game i will now avoid.

Beautiful Game with a Taste of "Might & Magic" with plenty of beautiful women, and lots of demons and magic, played this game and it felt like I was really there...The story is being told with suspense and with not knowing what comes around the corner. The characters are very nice, and the main Mc is not bad either. The Costumes are also beautiful also, even with its lack of animation I deeply enjoyed this Game, and is now one of my favorite fantasy Games.
Hoping to see more soon.

Someone in the thread comments said it best: everytime an important conversation is about to happen, the dev skips it, without fail.

This is a narrative device that has to be used sparingly and in the right circumstances. Sometimes, instead of having characters discuss a plan, you will show the plan being carried out. This is fairly common for a reason, instead of telling the reader what will happen, you show them.

This dev, unfortunately, does not execute these "dialogue skips" well. In fact, every time something important to the plot of the game is about to be mentioned, SKIP.

The MC's goal, SKIP. The "inciting incident," SKIP, important information about an LI, SKIP, general plot of the game, vague hints and SKIP whenever something tangible would be mentioned.

It's not that this info is a mystery to the MC, it's only hidden for the reader.

When used correctly, concealing information from the reader can build tension and mystery. Concealing all information just means there is nothing investing me in the game. I don't know shit about what is happening or why it is happening, so I cant sympathize or take an interest in any of it.

What makes this worse is we are allegedly supposed to make choices as this MC (game is kinetic right now). How is that supposed to work when everything we need to know to make decisions has been skipped.

It's not mystery, its not even confusing, its just bad. I lasted til the end of the current game out of the hope that it wasn't a pattern (and the LI's are hot af) but man after like the 3rd or 4th time a convo was cut prematurely I checked out.

Another Kinetic Novel tricking people to believe they have choices.
1* for the nice renders.
The story would be intriguing if not ruined through artificial plot holes created through annoying skip moments.
Overall the dialogues are ok.
The disconnect from the MC because of lack of knowledge is quite annoying and leads to a spectator experience rather than actual immersion.
Sex scenes are forced and choices have no consequences.
All in all very disappointing, but given a proper rework of interaction and choices, somewhat redeemable.

This game has one of the best storyline,loved it , but it needs a work on lewd scence they are way to short and less animation try to acompalish that things i can see that this game will be very popular

This game is heavily emphasized by it's story and writing. But after all, i can tell that the dev has never picked up a decent fantasy novel to read. Everything is just exposition after exposition, then cringy dialogues, then more exposition... the renders are just decent. What a wastefully mediocre game! Average for the effort I guess.

In my opinion, this is an elegant project. 5 Stars
This have good story, good renders, the music is adequate, transitions well implemented, the speed of development and publication is good.

From a player's point of view, I can't expect more or better because everything is excellent in this game.

Pros: -> All.

Cons: -> The thing is, I can't travel to the future to see the finished project.

Very good job Mystic.

So i just played the game and i loved it
all i can i say is the game is masterpiece ... i have played dozens VN and very few can compare to it in my opinion. (easily one of my favorites from now on)
The story is fantastic , the Visuals are beautiful, and charachters are interesting with different personalities. The Li are very lovable and beautiful
i found myself attached with one Li from chapter 1 , seriously thats some very good writing.
Furthermore it shows the quality of work and planning the dev did for the VN.
I wish dev continue with such quaility work and this gonna be of the few VN im planning to support someday.

As of v0.3 Ch.1.PartII


PROS

• Good looking models
• Interesting setting & premise .

CONS

• Forced into scenes.
• Walls of text about nothing in particular.
• Meaningless choices
• It's an unlabelled kinetic novel.

CONCLUSION

Started off hopeful but soon went downhill. Seems like another dev that can't get their head around a player NOT wanting to forced into sex scenes.

It's a Kinetic Novel in disguise so if you're looking for routes and choice don't bother.