VN Ren'Py Esoterika [v0.3a] [Inkshade]

[Filipis]

Good grief.... unavoidable NTR and of course with a "loyal" best friend. I mean, seriously? This poor cuck didn't ask for a "wife" and was doing just fine without her. Now, after helping her out and opening his door for her, he's getting cucked by his best friend ON THE FIRST DAY they meet. Whatever. I like NTR, but in all these games NTR automatically assumes the MC is a loser and that does not have to be the case, but what do you expect.

Good luck.

There is no cucking in the game yet, the female protagonist is just fantasizing. And since the best friend is the first one she has seen naked (by accident), it’s normal she would fantasize about him. Meanwhile, the best friend in question is unaware of this.

 

[RossoX]

Not a bad start. The renders are ok and all the girls are great, with the main girl Celes being the most smoking hot (as she should). The writing and gramar are serviceable. Can't judge the story/plot too much yet; for now, some good some bad. The initial farm life setup is decent enough and the outlander thing can be interesting. As for the current adult content (understandably few), I like those kinds of acidental erotic encounters (the whole gym sequence), but Celes already cuming herself to sleep right after it feels a bit... rushed.

For more negative feedback, most choices feel inconsequential or lead to the same outcome, which is just tiresome at this point in time. Either add significant paths/differences for each choice, or remove those from the game and commit to a kinetic novel; the current illusion of choice serves no purpose and is an archaic design that needs to die. The most negative red flag tough is the complete lack of music and sounds/moans.

 

[Filipis]

For more negative feedback, most choices feel inconsequential or lead to the same outcome, which is just tiresome at this point in time. Either add significant paths/differences for each choice, or remove those from the game and commit to a kinetic novel; the current illusion of choice serves no purpose and is an archaic design that needs to die. The most negative red flag tough is the complete lack of music and sounds/moans.

That's because those choices are supposed to let you, the player, determine the character of your MC; actual consequences will be more apparent as the story progresses. The game is built and will be built around pure NTR, so keep that in mind - this game is not going to be for everyone.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Played through. Good character models despite the... gravity defying clothing mentioned earlier. Decent dialogue. But it's a pretty convoluted set-up for an NTR game, more than usual at least. Cucked by a hot Knight from another dimension (who just happens to know English) you only met two days ago, never touched & have only pretended to be husband and wife for two hours before a big black hog is waved in front of her face making her pants juicy. A little too much going on & way too quickly for any immersion or emotional investment and little to no resistance from her in her fantasy makes things less interesting, where some internal pushback would ramp up the tension more. Simmering adds more taste than starting off at a boil.
I'd say at the very least make Cedric a nosy, antagonistic neighbor instead of MC's best friend. Could be my own bias since I've never liked the cucked-by-best-friend scenario. But I also think antagonist rather than buddy would flow more smoothly with the heightened fight-or-flight response.

 

[DarkSkies2000]

I quite liked it. Does anyone know when the next update will come?

 

[SamuraiFruitPunch88]

Great beginning. Celes's desing is awesome and sexy. You had me hooked up with the premise alone but after playing it I will keep an eye on it for future updates.

I wish you the best of lucks dev.

 

[Ravnen]

This game is uploaded on gamcore under female protagonist. Why does people keep doing this?? There are like 1000s of male mc games and a few hundred female mc games. So tired of ppl lying about their games, to get ppl to play them. So please dear fellow gamers, stop uploading games such as this under a female protagonist banner.

Tyvm..

 

[Filipis]

Played through. Good character models despite the... gravity defying clothing mentioned earlier. Decent dialogue. But it's a pretty convoluted set-up for an NTR game, more than usual at least. Cucked by a hot Knight from another dimension (who just happens to know English) you only met two days ago, never touched & have only pretended to be husband and wife for two hours before a big black hog is waved in front of her face making her pants juicy. A little too much going on & way too quickly for any immersion or emotional investment and little to no resistance from her in her fantasy makes things less interesting, where some internal pushback would ramp up the tension more. Simmering adds more taste than starting off at a boil.
I'd say at the very least make Cedric a nosy, antagonistic neighbor instead of MC's best friend. Could be my own bias since I've never liked the cucked-by-best-friend scenario. But I also think antagonist rather than buddy would flow more smoothly with the heightened fight-or-flight response.

Celes and MC are just playing pretend, they are not actually husband and wife. Celes clearly has not yet developed any romantic feelings for MC, so why is her masturbating to another man so weird?

 

[Inkshade]

This game is uploaded on gamcore under female protagonist. Why does people keep doing this?? There are like 1000s of male mc games and a few hundred female mc games. So tired of ppl lying about their games, to get ppl to play them. So please dear fellow gamers, stop uploading games such as this under a female protagonist banner.

Tyvm..

Just want to point out that I was not the person who decided on the tags for this game here on this site or on GamCore. I actually dont even know that Gamcore site is a thing...
But also my game is kinda~ running on the line of having multiple protagonists, atleast narratively, so a female protagonist tag does make sense...

 

[Ravnen]

Just want to point out that I was not the person who decided on the tags for this game here on this site or on GamCore. I actually dont even know that Gamcore site is a thing...
But also my game is kinda~ running on the line of having multiple protagonists, atleast narratively, so a female protagonist tag does make sense...

That why I said fellow gamers, and not dear dev. As it is one who plays the game that has uploaded it. I gave the game a shot, and all I saw was a male mc. Some games does give you a chance to briefly take control of a female antagonist. But protagonist, then your mc needs to be female, or at least you should be able to pick your gender at the beginning =)

 

[Adhdclassic]

Already starting off interesting. Happy she found MC then dreams of his friend. Losses the girl before he even tries to get her. I am assuming this choice matters.

Facial-she said mark her as his forever.
Belly-put seed on my fertile belly.
Guessing this will show how the NTR category will be choosen. Hope MC has a beast also but I guess if other games have shown us he won't.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Celes and MC are just playing pretend, they are not actually husband and wife. Celes clearly has not yet developed any romantic feelings for MC, so why is her masturbating to another man so weird?

You either misunderstood my post or put words in my mouth. Never called it weird & stated in the exact post you quoted that they've been pretending to be husband and wife for 2 hours.

My post was was about the use (lack thereof) of anticipation and tension build-up in writing. The current way it's written deflates that tension and build-up. "A little too much going on & way too quickly for any immersion or emotional investment and little to no resistance from her in her fantasy makes things less interesting, where some internal pushback would ramp up the tension more. Simmering adds more taste than starting off at a boil. "

I take it English isn't your first language, so just like a post in a separate thread you responded to, you're not getting the meaning of what I'm saying or reading between the lines well. Even if you can technically read the words, there's a difference in communication style. Let's chalk it up to that.

 

[Filipis]

You either misunderstood my post or put words in my mouth. Never called it weird & stated in the exact post you quoted that they've been pretending to be husband and wife for 2 hours.

My post was was about the use (lack thereof) of anticipation and tension build-up in writing. The current way it's written deflates that tension and build-up. "A little too much going on & way too quickly for any immersion or emotional investment and little to no resistance from her in her fantasy makes things less interesting, where some internal pushback would ramp up the tension more. Simmering adds more taste than starting off at a boil. "

I take it English isn't your first language, so just like a post in a separate thread you responded to, you're not getting the meaning of what I'm saying or reading between the lines well. Even if you can technically read the words, there's a difference in communication style. Let's chalk it up to that.

Why would there have to be such resistance present that she would deny herself a fantasy? This is 0.1 of the game & narrative, Celes and MC have barely spent a day together. From what she's seen, Celes considers MC to be a good man - but nothing more romantically, at least not yet. Wouldn't it make more sense to have Celes show "guilt" a little bit later on, after she had time to get to know MC a bit more deeply? The struggle makes more sense if she is emotionally connected to both men, not when they're still complete strangers to her (even if she does live with MC).

P.S. English is not my first language, but the only culprit in this "misunderstanding" is your failure to understand that 'weird' was used as a summary of your comment towards the happenings ingame. Just like 'rushed' would be as well, I simply chose the former word to describe it with.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Why would there have to be such resistance present that she would deny herself a fantasy? This is 0.1 of the game & narrative, Celes and MC have barely spent a day together. From what she's seen, Celes considers MC to be a good man - but nothing more romantically, at least not yet. Wouldn't it make more sense to have Celes show "guilt" a little bit later on, after she had time to get to know MC a bit more deeply? The struggle makes more sense if she is emotionally connected to both men, not when they're still complete strangers to her (even if she does live with MC).

P.S. English is not my first language, but the only culprit in this "misunderstanding" is your failure to understand that 'weird' was used as a summary of your comment towards the happenings ingame. Just like 'rushed' would be as well, I simply chose the former word to describe it with.

TLDR: I'm talking about lack of tension for the reader/player in the entire sexual set-up. Not for the female character the one scene you're harping on. You completely fail to understand that.

"Weird" is also completely different than "rushed". So no, that was either a language error on your part or you're putting words into my mouth.

My reference to immersion and emotional investment are on the part of the reader, not the character, which can be accomplished through the writing. That's been my point in this, which you've failed to understand. A writer has 100% free reigns in any story to choose how to create that ramp-up effectively and a good writer knows how to set up that tension and emotional investment for the person reading/playing it. Seems like this concept is completely foreign to you. I'm saying that with the current set-up, the writing has not done a good job of that so far. Though some of the game so far has been good in other aspects, It's been an uneven start in that respect.

You're simply harping on her reaction at the end (Celes masturbating), falsely equating my post to that alone. Which isn't the case at all. Nor am I necessarily saying that every story has to be a slow-burn to get that effect, though it is easier to do so skillwise through that writing path. The effectiveness of tension in build-up is all in the writer's choices of plot-points and internal/external dialogue and a skillful writer can build that tension quickly or slowly by making the right choices in both.

 

[Filipis]

TLDR: I'm talking about lack of tension for the reader/player in the entire sexual set-up. Not for the female character the one scene you're harping on. You completely fail to understand that.

"Weird" is also completely different than "rushed". So no, that was either a language error on your part or you're putting words into my mouth.

My reference to immersion and emotional investment are on the part of the reader, not the character, which can be accomplished through the writing. That's been my point in this, which you've failed to understand. A writer has 100% free reigns in any story to choose how to create that ramp-up effectively and a good writer knows how to set up that tension and emotional investment for the person reading/playing it. Seems like this concept is completely foreign to you. I'm saying that with the current set-up, the writing has not done a good job of that so far. Though some of the game so far has been good in other aspects, It's been an uneven start in that respect.

You're simply harping on her reaction at the end (Celes masturbating), falsely equating my post to that alone. Which isn't the case at all. Nor am I necessarily saying that every story has to be a slow-burn to get that effect, though it is easier to do so skillwise through that writing path. The effectiveness of tension in build-up is all in the writer's choices of plot-points and internal/external dialogue and a skillful writer can build that tension quickly or slowly by making the right choices in both.

If you feel that the masturbation scene is too rushed, then I guess that's something you have to deal with. I don't know how much tension or emotional investment is necessary for you to properly enjoy a simple masturbation scene, but you might be reading too much into this particular instance. Unless you are asking the dev to include a whole-ass backstory novella about Celes' life before she came into MC's world, in which case your writing skills are clearly in dire need of some sharpening - because that would be a 'wall of text' not a single reader would find interesting.

Revealing every single detail or facet of a character right away - before any actual plot is underway - is the most basic (and the most boring) method of characterization possible; peeling back the layers of Celes' (or any other character's) personality is perhaps best done methodically & sporadically, in appropriate situations. Would you rather read a 10-page explanation on why Celes likes swords more than axes? Or would you rather Celes find herself in a situation where her sword expertise is shown in action? One of those is a more engaging read that doesn't require a "set up" to pay off.

Please, do keep in mind that you are playing a 0.1 version of an AVN, and not all questions or character actions are going to be answered/explained immediately. Part of the excitement is not knowing every little thing right away!

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

If you feel that the masturbation scene is too rushed, then I guess that's something you have to deal with. I don't know how much tension or emotional investment is necessary for you to properly enjoy a simple masturbation scene, but you might be reading too much into this particular instance. Unless you are asking the dev to include a whole-ass backstory novella about Celes' life before she came into MC's world, in which case your writing skills are clearly in dire need of some sharpening - because that would be a 'wall of text' not a single reader would find interesting.

Revealing every single detail or facet of a character right away - before any actual plot is underway - is the most basic (and the most boring) method of characterization possible; peeling back the layers of Celes' (or any other character's) personality is perhaps best done methodically & sporadically, in appropriate situations. Would you rather read a 10-page explanation on why Celes likes swords more than axes? Or would you rather Celes find herself in a situation where her sword expertise is shown in action? One of those is a more engaging read that doesn't require a "set up" to pay off.

Please, do keep in mind that you are playing a 0.1 version of an AVN, and not all questions or character actions are going to be answered/explained immediately. Part of the excitement is not knowing every little thing right away!

Jesus F'n Christ. None of that is what I'm saying at all. This is why I just assumed this was a language/cultural barrier at first. Your reading comprehension skills & misinterpretations of what I'm saying are just that bad. You focus on a few sentences in a post and not only misinterpret them wildly, but show clear lack of understanding of a paragraph, point or statement as a whole.

Then you put a bunch of words into my mouth in wild suggestions I never made, so you can counterpoint them, due to your complete lack of understanding. This seems to be a habit for you.

Replying to each of your misinterpretations and completely fabricated extrapolations of things I never said does not sound like fun at all, so I won't.

Why not just make up an entire post you disagree with, attribute it to me and then answer with a snooty reply to the strawmen you've created.

Oops. You already did.

My theory is that you twist yourself into a pretzel trying to defend any game or creator you like from any sort of criticism, in whatever way you can.
The fact that you hold Dimagio333 (other thread) in some sort of reverence as a masterful writer/creator kind of says all I need to know about your grasp of what good writing skills are. But your failure at simple reading comprehension really takes the cake.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

If you feel that the masturbation scene is too rushed, then I guess that's something you have to deal with. I don't know how much tension or emotional investment is necessary for you to properly enjoy a simple masturbation scene, but you might be reading too much into this particular instance. Unless you are asking the dev to include a whole-ass backstory novella about Celes' life before she came into MC's world, in which case your writing skills are clearly in dire need of some sharpening - because that would be a 'wall of text' not a single reader would find interesting.

Revealing every single detail or facet of a character right away - before any actual plot is underway - is the most basic (and the most boring) method of characterization possible; peeling back the layers of Celes' (or any other character's) personality is perhaps best done methodically & sporadically, in appropriate situations. Would you rather read a 10-page explanation on why Celes likes swords more than axes? Or would you rather Celes find herself in a situation where her sword expertise is shown in action? One of those is a more engaging read that doesn't require a "set up" to pay off.

Please, do keep in mind that you are playing a 0.1 version of an AVN, and not all questions or character actions are going to be answered/explained immediately. Part of the excitement is not knowing every little thing right away!

It's not only about her masturbation scene, it's about the entire pacing and engagement.

I can't speak for dontcarewhateverno, but at least for me, it would be a lot more engaging if there was some sense of romantic/relational progression. I don't mean this in the AVN vernacular, i.e. filling up buckets, but the more realistic push-pull dynamic of real world relationships (both with MC and the antagonist). I just played it again to make sure I'm not misrepresenting it, and indeed, there's almost none of this back and forth, the proverbial flirting dance (or scorn or any emotion). Where's the push-pull? There's almost no apprehension or tension, it's like watching characters in the Sims do things solely because the player has directed them to do so.

Now, she is from a different time/world, so it could be chalked up to culture shock. At the start, her relationship with MC feels oddly platonic for an AVN. Then the antagonist enters, and within a few scenes Celeste has these internal monologues hinting at sexual excitement. This feels like a juxtaposition; I'd expect a person not wary of strangers to behave similarly in either circumstance.

This is part of why I generally dont like bbc fetish focused ntr games. They often use that fetish as a catch-all stand in for relational progression. Cedric isn't particularly charming or good looking, but that doesn't seem to really matter to the narrative.

You could take the same characters and write a much hotter story with Celeste initially being standoffish towards the antagonist then slowly coming around, OR one where the antagonist started off as a silver tongued devil, playing the charmer around both Celeste and the mc- then at some point MC realizes things are not what they seem.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

It's not only about her masturbation scene, it's about the entire pacing and engagement.

I can't speak for dontcarewhateverno, but at least for me, it would be a lot more engaging if there was some sense of romantic/relational progression. I don't mean this in the AVN vernacular, i.e. filling up buckets, but the more realistic push-pull dynamic of real world relationships (both with MC and the antagonist). I just played it again to make sure I'm not misrepresenting it, and indeed, there's almost none of this back and forth, the proverbial flirting dance (or scorn or any emotion). Where's the push-pull? There's almost no apprehension or tension, it's like watching characters in the Sims do things solely because the player has directed them to do so.

Now, she is from a different time/world, so it could be chalked up to culture shock. At the start, her relationship with MC feels oddly platonic for an AVN. Then the antagonist enters, and within a few scenes Celeste has these internal monologues hinting at sexual excitement. This feels like a juxtaposition; I'd expect a person not wary of strangers to behave similarly in either circumstance.

This is part of why I generally dont like bbc fetish focused ntr games. They often use that fetish as a catch-all stand in for relational progression. Cedric isn't particularly charming or good looking, but that doesn't seem to really matter to the narrative.

You could take the same characters and write a much hotter story with Celeste initially being standoffish towards the antagonist then slowly coming around, OR one where the antagonist started off as a silver tongued devil, playing the charmer around both Celeste and the mc- then at some point MC realizes things are not what they seem.

Thanks. After so many wildly misinterpreted replies, I really just didn't have the energy anymore.

 

[somepeoplearesheep]

VN generally is no choice that make a impact on the story for the player.

 

[Dingusdude]

Someone please leak the new release