VN Ren'Py Esoterika [v0.3a] [Inkshade]

[thesappho]

Agree. I thing there is a missing piece here: the knight-girl should be affected by a harmful spell or received a harmful magic mark that was placed by enemies before she escaped
That would be completely legitimate answer for her newly obsession. The interesting part here she may starting to understand what happening, but because she is knight, not a mage she can't dispel it and can't get any help because there are no allied mages here

exactly. you had a life alteraction moment. trapped in a whole different universe. you stumbled upon a good, young, healthy, strong male. even if you had a secluded life (that being a woman in a dominantly male profession) you know somtehing or two about sex. before even you had a sexual experience/tension with mc you dont crave any other cock bbc/asian or else. story rushed for the first version I think. I dont want a "a wife and a mother" pace definetely. but at this rate in 0.2 she should have a gang bang .

 

[Filipis]

exactly. you had a life alteraction moment. trapped in a whole different universe. you stumbled upon a good, young, healthy, strong male. even if you had a secluded life (that being a woman in a dominantly male profession) you know somtehing or two about sex. before even you had a sexual experience/tension with mc you dont crave any other cock bbc/asian or else. story rushed for the first version I think. I dont want a "a wife and a mother" pace definetely. but at this rate in 0.2 she should have a gang bang .

The whole point of the NTR decisions you make is letting your “wife” get closer to another man by choosing not to spend time with her. Atrraction builds by spending time together - and after spending time with our best friend in the gym, it is natural she would have an erotic dream about him, rather than the MC.

 

[desmosome]

You should get an editor to go over your script or something. Grammar issues are frequent, but what really feels like missed potential is not utilizing her background to give her some defining characteristics.

First of all, they say she speaks differently, but she actually doesn't. One of her first spoken line is "fuck!" And she generally just talks like a modern person. Her medieval mannerism and speech pattern could have been a salient plot device and characterization.

And personally, I found their connection not quite there for the future NTR to destroy. It's a fake wife situation, and they had some bonding moments, but it was only like 1 day in game time. I would have included a time skip montage of working the farm together and a pivotal scene where they develop genuine feelings for one another before beginning the antagonist introductions.

That said, I was still intrigued by the possibilities and whether you will pull off the NTR narrative in a way that would appeal to me. I will be tuning in for more. Good luck!

 

[Inkshade]

First of all, they say she speaks differently, but she actually doesn't. One of her first spoken line is "fuck!" And she generally just talks like a modern person. Her medieval mannerism and speech pattern could have been a salient plot device and characterization.

I actually thought about this when I first came up with the script, but then halfway through I realized my English secondary language ass isnt capable of writing something like that. So for now I'll just have it as she's overly polite and refer to other people as "lady" or "sir". I'll find someone to help me with that before we reach chapter 3, where half of the characters speak Shakespearean.

And personally, I found their connection not quite there for the future NTR to destroy. It's a fake wife situation, and they had some bonding moments, but it was only like 1 day in game time. I would have included a time skip montage of working the farm together and a pivotal scene where they develop genuine feelings for one another before beginning the antagonist introductions.

Originally there was a time skip montage, the story was just they met, she revealed herself as a person from another world and then a 6 months timeskip straight to when they are already in love and decided to move to the city together.

But I feel like that's a bit cheap and lazy. I want to gradually develope her relationship with MC at the same time with her corruption, basically like a tug of war. And living alone with MC in the middle of nowhere would give their relationship a decent head start, but that first encounter with Cedric is always gonna be on the back of her mind...
And Cedric is not the antagonist and more like a victim, he's genuinely a good friend to MC and actually feel guilty about that encounter. It's just that her sinful body also slowly corrupted him.

 

[NeroZee]

One thing i will say about the game now that i replayed it again is the MC needs to be fleshed out more, he feels like a non-character. Big themes/kinks like NTR, femdom, etc... only work if you play them off the MC who has a distinct personality. Stuff like this only works well when it's present from his POV, whether you do it by having the MC be an oblivious idiot to what is going on around him, or being someone that fully enjoys that role.

Thats really my only complaint about the game so far, also would caution the dev not to go into too many kinks at the same time, it can be exhausting especially in the long run, pick the main 2-3 and stick with these for 90% of the game and then throw in a bone every once in a while to people that wanna see other stuff, also be very, VERY careful with certain kinks. Patreon has been very ban happy lately as another huge creator got banned off that platform for his NTR content being a bit too rapey for their taste.

Thats pretty much it as i said i like supporting new creators whenever i can i will diverge my support from another game(thats already super huge so doesnt really need it) to this game next month.

 

[Filipis]

I actually thought about this when I first came up with the script, but then halfway through I realized my English secondary language ass isnt capable of writing something like that. So for now I'll just have it as she's overly polite and refer to other people as "lady" or "sir". I'll find someone to help me with that before we reach chapter 3, where half of the characters speak Shakespearean.

English isn’t my primary language either, but I would nonetheless like to offer my free help in writing in “Old English”. Though it won’t be truly the old stuff, just formal & fancy enough to where the characters sound from a different era, the Hollywood way, if you will.

Originally there was a time skip montage, the story was just they met, she revealed herself as a person from another world and then a 6 months timeskip straight to when they are already in love and decided to move to the city together.

But I feel like that's a bit cheap and lazy. I want to gradually develope her relationship with MC at the same time with her corruption, basically like a tug of war. And living alone with MC in the middle of nowhere would give their relationship a decent head start, but that first encounter with Cedric is always gonna be on the back of her mind...
And Cedric is not the antagonist and more like a victim, he's genuinely a good friend to MC and actually feel guilty about that encounter. It's just that her sinful body also slowly corrupted him.

I like your thought process and explanation on why you decided on certain plot elements. I guess both narratives would’ve worked, though I have to admit that maybe a smaller timeskip (like a month) would’ve been perfect to establish the budding relationship between MC and the woman, while also not giving enough time to have her head over heels for him and struggle with her attraction towards other men (Cedric).
Quick question, is pregnancy planned for some endings or?

 

[Inkshade]

pregnancy

Absolutely

 

[Jhin00]

I can't wait the next episodes...!

 

[Al88ex]

thanks

 

[Inkshade]

View attachment 3953494 View attachment 3953497
hmmmmm

no idea what u talking about

 

[Sunny329]

I like NTR and Vanilla route both. Is there any possibility for Vanilla path since we are still very early in the game?
My mind works in mysterious ways sometimes.
In Vanilla games, i want to see NTR route while in NTR games, i like to see Vanilla romance route.

 

[Inkshade]

In Vanilla games, i want to see NTR route while in NTR games, i like to see Vanilla romance route.

what a blasphemous notion!
But no, I wont do a full vanilla path but maaaybe I'll do a short "What If" bonus chapter once the game is complete or something. A giant maybe tho, not sure if that would even fit the story

 

[Sieglinnde]

what a blasphemous notion!
But no, I wont do a full vanilla path but maaaybe I'll do a short "What If" bonus chapter once the game is complete or something. A giant maybe tho, not sure if that would even fit the story

I just want one thing to be giant

 

[Filipis]

what a blasphemous notion!
But no, I wont do a full vanilla path but maaaybe I'll do a short "What If" bonus chapter once the game is complete or something. A giant maybe tho, not sure if that would even fit the story

As much as I love the concept, maybe adding a "vanilla" route where Celes ends up with MC would be a good idea in general? Just spitballing, this is your game after all...

 

[Inkshade]

View attachment 3972345
As much as I love the concept, maybe adding a "vanilla" route where Celes ends up with MC would be a good idea in general? Just spitballing, this is your game after all...

let's just say Im not against it, and if im gonna do anything like that it would only be after I finished all other paths

 

[Filipis]

let's just say Im not against it, and if im gonna do anything like that it would only be after I finished all other paths

"other" paths?
So, Celes will be getting more love interests in the future? We all know Cedric is her one and only after that shower encounter...

 

[Joshy92]

So I haven't played it but if things are unavoidable does that mean the game is kinetic or are there branching paths and stuff?

 

[Inkshade]

"other" paths

there are 3 endings

Celes will be getting more love interests in the future?

well, there's this mysterious "Master" figure that Mira is serving under...

 

[Filipis]

So I haven't played it but if things are unavoidable does that mean the game is kinetic or are there branching paths and stuff?

I think there will be NTR on all paths, but Celes might get into different situations depending on your choices…

 

[Filipis]

there are 3 endings


well, there's this mysterious "Master" figure that Mira is serving under...

What about MC’s sister Chloe? And Gwen? Do they all get NTR content (with Cedric?) or?