Not sure the dev ever comes by here, so this may fall on deaf ears, but I've already written it, so I might as well post it, right? Anyway, here goes.
A fine game so far. Looking forward to more. Anyway, here's everything I found wrong with it:
There are a few lines labeled as MC thinking to himself when he's clearly saying them to Charlotte ("I thought I was alone there for a second." and a couple of lines before that). Same for the line "Not a dungeon, then." much later in the script.
If you decide to check on Jessica for the second choice where you're picking between all three girls, the knocking is accompanied not by a picture of the door, but Victoria's head. A slightly different picture of her head can also be seen should you check on her (Victoria), which also doesn't match.
Also, in 4.rpy, line 472: "show 731" should be "show bh-731". Likewise, bh-861 seems to be missing in the same scene (or maybe the number is wrong). Toward the end of the little massage MC gives Charlotte, there's also an image that doesn't match, showing her in a different outfit, and not being massaged.
Finally: This seems like a small thing, but it annoys me, so I'll say it. The space after the quotation mark at the start of every single spoken line really shouldn't be there.
And here are all the little typos and similar mistakes I found:
(v0.10)
