Recommending Femdom Finder 2.0

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Discussion Reviews (4)

Do you love femdom?

  • Certainly

    Votes: 4,546 43.7%

  • Of course

    Votes: 1,669 16.1%

  • Indubitably

    Votes: 1,530 14.7%

  • Definitely

    Votes: 2,646 25.5%
  • Total voters
    10,391
A

Ashurgy

Newbie
Jun 6, 2021
20
34
I see a lot of people here who have only fantasized about being in a FLR but never actually been one and therefore feel the need to put others down by saying it's just a selfish sexual fantasy and wouldn't work IRL. That's not how it works in real life though. You don't just go looking for someone and use them as a kink dispenser for your 'sub' kinks. The whole femdom relationship state develops naturally.

Speaking from experience it usually starts off with friendship and then develops from there, there's a friendly power struggle between the two until one of them naturally proves to be more dominant (my ex in this situation). She enjoys the power fantasy of it, and yeah she was not into all of my kinks at first but she found ways to enjoy them either through rewards, punishment or just power play. Hell, she's the one who even wanted to peg me (we still had regular sex more often than not), I wouldn't have even thought of it first.

Point is, yes femdom relationships can and do work but they're not as one dimensional as they are depicted in porn. You still gotta show confidence and dominance with other people and be the man she needs you to be (but only submit to her as a sign of love and trust). It's not about your fantasy or needs alone, it's a two way street and if you're really submissive towards a person it should come out of love and not some fetish of yours. So stop trying to look for or force it and let it develop naturally, and actually try to challenge the person you're with, don't act all submissive because you're so fucking desperate, let them earn it and make sure it's something they actually want.
 
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Holefiller

Holefiller

Member
Jan 23, 2019
360
1,583
Ashurgy said:
I see a lot of people here who have only fantasized about being in a FLR but never actually been one and therefore feel the need to put others down by saying it's just a selfish sexual fantasy and wouldn't work IRL. That's not how it works in real life though. You don't just go looking for someone and use them as a kink dispenser for your 'sub' kinks. The whole femdom relationship state develops naturally.

Speaking from experience it usually starts off with friendship and then develops from there, there's a friendly power struggle between the two until one of them naturally proves to be more dominant (my ex in this situation). She enjoys the power fantasy of it, and yeah she was not into all of my kinks at first but she found ways to enjoy them either through rewards, punishment or just power play. Hell, she's the one who even wanted to peg me (we still had regular sex more often than not), I wouldn't have even thought of it first.

Point is, yes femdom relationships can and do work but they're not as one dimensional as they are depicted in porn. You still gotta show confidence and dominance with other people and be the man she needs you to be (but only submit to her as a sign of love and trust). It's not about your fantasy or needs alone, it's a two way street and if you're really submissive towards a person it should come out of love and not some fetish of yours. So stop trying to look for or force it and let it develop naturally, and actually try to challenge the person you're with, don't act all submissive because you're so fucking desperate, let them earn it and make sure it's something they actually want.
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What I'm about to say sounds incredibly dickish, but its really just cynicism so please don't take it as a personal attack. After all, we're all strangers.

I feel like I would have to meet you in real life to actually verify your description of your past relationship. Since I don't know you, I'm not sure what your saying is legit or just a cope for a relationship that didn't work out. You say "stop trying to look for or force it and let it develop naturally", but letting it develop naturally will lead to a vanilla relationship 99 times out of 100. If I'm being brutally honest, I think you probably led her in that direction. You even say "she didn't enjoy all of [your] kinks at first", which implies that she needed some convincing. Convincing from you.

I'm not saying that you should never negotiate anything sex related with a partner, or that its impossible for women to be dominant. What I am saying is there is a way relationships typically go and those who buck the trend, as you claim to have done, do so through a combination of extensive persuasion and negotiation. The average person looks at these abnormal relationships and thinks "Wow, that's artificial and I want no part of that."
 
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A

Ashurgy

Newbie
Jun 6, 2021
20
34
Holefiller said:
What I'm about to say sounds incredibly dickish, but its really just cynicism so please don't take it as a personal attack. After all, we're all strangers.

I feel like I would have to meet you in real life to actually verify your description of your past relationship. Since I don't know you, I'm not sure what your saying is legit or just a cope for a relationship that didn't work out. You say "stop trying to look for or force it and let it develop naturally", but letting it develop naturally will lead to a vanilla relationship 99 times out of 100. If I'm being brutally honest, I think you probably led her in that direction. You even say "she didn't enjoy all of [your] kinks at first", which implies that she needed some convincing. Convincing from you.

I'm not saying that you should never negotiate anything sex related with a partner, or that its impossible for women to be dominant. What I am saying is there is a way relationships typically go and those who buck the trend, as you claim to have done, do so through a combination of extensive persuasion and negotiation. The average person looks at these abnormal relationships and thinks "Wow, that's artificial and I want no part of that."
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It's not about imposing or persuading the other person to fit your personal needs, I have a foot fetish, she doesn't. She was into voyeurism / exhibitionism, I'm not. But we both still enjoyed exploring each other's kinks. There's always gonna be compromise in any meaningful relationship.

I also don't know you in person to ask why you're that cynical on the subject but I do agree that MOST relationships will end up being vanilla. My previous ones were and I ended up being the dominant one in them, it's just how things flowed. So again, it depends on the two people in question and how their dynamic evolves over time. You can be dominant with one person and submissive to another, and that's what I meant by letting things develop naturally.
 
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LAKueiJin

LAKueiJin

Active Member
Apr 15, 2020
752
1,559
richarddlopatin said:
I've been roaming around this forum for a few years and it's so refreshing to see at least one actual good take.

And about all the other stuff, gender and dominance related, a lot of "subs" here are just low-key misogynists, really. And I'm not coming from an angle of just throwing insults. It's to be expected from a forum like this and I'm certainly at least a little bit guilty of it myself. I know we all want to be good and fair but sometimes our prejudices can show up in our words even when we think we're doing better.
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Definitely wise words. There are always tiny hints in one's speech that give away their (sometimes subconsciuous) prejudices/biases, which are informed by lived experience, so no matter how pro-feminist or anti-misogynistic some of us are, there will be ways in which any man will misunderstand women and potentially espouse low-key misoginy. Probably if we talk sex and gender we'd have a lot of differences, but I very much respect your position on this (self-recognition of biases) and your tactful avoidance of further public debates on womanhood, gender and sex! :)


Ianuda said:
Lots of nuanced and interesting philosophical points
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I'll answer your post in detail during the weekend, as I've got a very busy week at work and I barely get 2 hours of free time a day tops. Thanks for the reply, as I definitely found it thought-stimulating!
 
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LAKueiJin

LAKueiJin

Active Member
Apr 15, 2020
752
1,559
By the way everyone, you may want to try the little RPGm game Cruel World if it escaped your radar! The English is quite broken (but understandable) and it was made by a Chinese team of devs as a free game, and for now in the prologue there's only about 1 hour and 20 minutes of content per playthrough (although some scenes are apparently very different based on your decisions), but it genuinely has pretty hot lezdom and giantess scenes. (the giantess stuff is femdom, not lezdom, as of now) Check it out if you can stomach RPGm and especially if giantess and feet are among your kinks! I'll hold on making an entry for it on the finder until it gets to at least the 2nd update, but I played it and the prologue is rather promising! :) (it's clearly an amateur project don't get me wrong, and English grammar gets murdered every 2 sentences, but they've got a pretty unique concept and I also liked the few erotic scenes)
 
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Etheric

Etheric

Member
May 30, 2017
350
451
Jesus... Was trying to seek some Eroge but discover the downloads from h-suki are with trojan.... seeking alternatives is pain and when I find there is the drm stopping me...
 
S3ri4l

S3ri4l

Member
Jun 7, 2020
287
575
Etheric said:
Jesus... Was trying to seek some Eroge but discover the downloads from h-suki are with trojan.... seeking alternatives is pain and when I find there is the drm stopping me...
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That's weird, I've got around 20 or 30 games from that website and never got a problem regarding viruses.
 
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