Ren'Py Abandoned Forgotten Diaries [v0.5] [BigBirdDev]

[opepe]

I don't mind either, but don't think patreon will like it that much . Though Im adding a custom name to her next version, so you can call her what you want ^^

Hey I appreciate that
I haven't played it yet, so idk, will the dialogue still make sense when you make that change?

 

[BigBirdDev]

Around half way finished with writing the next version, where you will offer her your occult magic book in exchanges for letting you finger her. Of course, you are not that stupid to give up your leverage, but maybe this gain of possible power will tempt her to fall under your spell even deeper..

 

[elgordito01]

full save

 

[BigBirdDev]

And thats it for the 0.4 update, giving the mc the option to finger the queen in front of the guard, and strengthening the mark by a huge margin, meaning he can finally be a lot more daring with her.
So what's planned for the next update( which is alread in the works). A fully animated new scene with multiple options (teaser below),


and the introduction of a clothing system. You will be able to pick what she wears, which is for now:

- The white dress
- A black dress
- A red dress
- A half-skimpy dress
- A see though dress
- And a very skimpy one

all unlockable by making her wear it for one of her throneroom audiences

 

[Asenaris]

Win/Linux/Mac (452 MB/ 173MB) :

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[0.5]

 

[BigBirdDev]

Forgotten Diaries [0.4.5] Compressed (Half-Tested)

Win/Linux (411 MB/ ~83.1 MB) :WorkUpload,PixelDrain

Compressed With UAGC 2.0.0 RC8+QF2.3

Image Quality: ~80%.

Oh wow, thanks a lot for that^^ Can I just add that to the front page or do I need moderator permission?
In the next version I am going to compress it to 80-90% aswell!

 

[ara1111]

One of those games I'm trying purely out of curiosity why it has no reviews despite being several version in.
Stuff that stands out weird to me: The patreon should say 'exclusive access to newest version' or similar, not just access.
Your guy says she has 'absolute power'. Then instantly, the very next paragraph is she can't do, then can't do Y. That's not absolute. Not even close. The english is weird in general like 'what changes at locations at different times', 'my whole live at' (its life in this context) but not so much to ruin the experience. But for an experience that's mostly just reading, you could really use an editor, proof reader, etc.

You have an option to see what to do next, but then the guy just says 'maybe go to places at different times'. This should just outright say what to do or it may as well not even exist. I clicked this option because I have no idea how to progress (turns out if you go to her room at night specifically there is inexplicbaly and illogically no guard). 'Try everything' is no help at all. You can only skip time in your room, also, so its very tedious.
The next one is 'get her humilated somehow'. 'Somehow'. Amazing. He says he wants to see how she interacts with common folk, which you can only do on the second period of the day, but there's no indication it would be something you need to visit on the second period for. Visiting early doesn't say 'she gets people in during the next period'. It just says 'no'.
Then you need to read the second paragraph of the book. Maybe. If she's been embarrased enough. The hint does not update.
Reading the book plays the intro for some reason.
So I sleep, go to next day. Read the book again. It kicks me into the start menu. I had not saved. I stopped playing.
On a similar note, 90% of the areas at any given time only serve to say 'no, this area is not where you go'.

I don't know why this is not a kinetic novel if there's only 1 correct path to take.
Almost every area seems to serve to be visited exactly 1 time. Maybe more later? I don't know, the game is literally broken.
The writing is fairly weird. Why do I need to read book, cut into bed, humilate her, then read chapter 2? MC gives no reason for this. There's no curse for reading it too fast or anything. He just doesn't read part two because he doesn't.

Not gonna review this 'cause I don't want the only review for a game with promise to be negative, but hopefully the feedback helps.

 

[Rosen King]

wow so much mind control its listed in the tags twice

It's listed in the "Genre" thing twice, and in the actual tags zero times. Oof.

 

[Valronn]

Looks interesting and its a nice change to corrupt and treat a female badly that deserves it, will try this out if there ends up being an android port. I'm assuming there should be a corruption tag with this.

 

[elgordito01]

full save

 

[BigBirdDev]

One of those games I'm trying purely out of curiosity why it has no reviews despite being several version in.
Stuff that stands out weird to me: The patreon should say 'exclusive access to newest version' or similar, not just access.
Your guy says she has 'absolute power'. Then instantly, the very next paragraph is she can't do, then can't do Y. That's not absolute. Not even close. The english is weird in general like 'what changes at locations at different times', 'my whole live at' (its life in this context) but not so much to ruin the experience. But for an experience that's mostly just reading, you could really use an editor, proof reader, etc.

You have an option to see what to do next, but then the guy just says 'maybe go to places at different times'. This should just outright say what to do or it may as well not even exist. I clicked this option because I have no idea how to progress (turns out if you go to her room at night specifically there is inexplicbaly and illogically no guard). 'Try everything' is no help at all. You can only skip time in your room, also, so its very tedious.
The next one is 'get her humilated somehow'. 'Somehow'. Amazing. He says he wants to see how she interacts with common folk, which you can only do on the second period of the day, but there's no indication it would be something you need to visit on the second period for. Visiting early doesn't say 'she gets people in during the next period'. It just says 'no'.
Then you need to read the second paragraph of the book. Maybe. If she's been embarrased enough. The hint does not update.
Reading the book plays the intro for some reason.
So I sleep, go to next day. Read the book again. It kicks me into the start menu. I had not saved. I stopped playing.
On a similar note, 90% of the areas at any given time only serve to say 'no, this area is not where you go'.

I don't know why this is not a kinetic novel if there's only 1 correct path to take.
Almost every area seems to serve to be visited exactly 1 time. Maybe more later? I don't know, the game is literally broken.
The writing is fairly weird. Why do I need to read book, cut into bed, humilate her, then read chapter 2? MC gives no reason for this. There's no curse for reading it too fast or anything. He just doesn't read part two because he doesn't.

Not gonna review this 'cause I don't want the only review for a game with promise to be negative, but hopefully the feedback helps.

Thanks for the lengthy feedback! Will take that to heart. While she has absolute power, she can't just murder high ranked nobles such as the kings son and the royal mage, as her power stemms from the support of said people.
The misspellings I fixed and will be correct in 0.5
that guard thing should be a bug, it should say "I'm sorry young prince, but her majesty is still in her private chambers. If you want to see her giving justice to the people, comeback at noon", or "I'm sorry young prince, but her majesty is walking around the courtyard",

but I get what you mean, a clearer sense of direction and hints, will try to implement that in the next one, also an advance time button on the side instead of sleeping in the bedroom

 

[ara1111]

Thanks for the lengthy feedback! Will take that to heart. While she has absolute power, she can't just murder high ranked nobles such as the kings son and the royal mage, as her power stemms from the support of said people.

That's... still not absolute power lol. It should be 'almost absolute power'. If she had absolute power, actually absolute, the game would be her winning no matter what you do.
The basic concept and art is hot enough that this should be fairly well-recieved when its all working right and it maybe gets some of those custom signatures people make to advertise it. Its strangely overlooked as is.

 

[PandaGuts]

How can i port it to apk

 

[Ru67i]

Interesting

 

[Mercedes]

Hmmm, the story moves too fast (despite magic being the reason). Only three steps and fucking is already on the timetable.
The many rooms and the different times could be very appealing if you didn't always enter rooms without a plot. A little more life at court would be very helpful here. More books in the library, eavesdropping conversations and rumors in the garden ect.
In addition, there is unfortunately a timing error at Corruption level 3, when you can fulfill the several actions in different places at the same time of day. Here it would be better to adjust the times of day a bit.

The animations are still kept very simple, which could have been intended to give the game its own style, but unfortunately they don't seem very professional and on the level of a teenager. A very young teenager.

I also find the structure of the game screen disturbing, as it looks very untidy and encourages wrong clicks.
At Corruption level 2, there was also a critical error when wandering through the rooms and entering the library.

Translated with

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(free version)

 

[desmosome]

In the current state, I wouldn't be able to give this more than 2*.

When you come up with a gameplay system, try to think of what you are trying to accomplish. Why are there time slots and locations if there is only ever one place you can go to see an event? The whole thing is utterly meaningless. There should be some sense of freedom in how you tackle things if you want to bother with "sandbox" at all.

A basic example might be having a job, MC stats training, a store, some quests, the Queen training, and if you wanna really bring the world to life, add various events and NPCs in different locations that could react to the corruption progression. Then you gotta juggle those various systems as they get interwoven through the story and progression requirements.

I am NOT saying this example would make a great sandbox/trainer or that it's the only way to do thing (it will all depend on the execution). It's just an example of a sandbox/freeroam system that has a purpose. In fact, a lot of people would probably not like the added grind.

The point is, if you want a sandbox, make it actually have at least a rudimentary gameplay loop. If you can't come up with something, just make it a VN. The linear sandboxes that are completely railroaded are the most annoying and meaningless form of time wasters that bring the worst of both worlds.

Other than that, the English is pretty rough, but nothing a proofreader can't fix. I've seen much worse Engrish around here.

I like the art and animation. I like the ideas for corruption. I like the story and character archetypes and motivations. It does need polish and does feel very rushed though.

The sex scene itself when you bang the Queen is absolutely terrible because there are no dialogues. There were dialogues during earlier training scenes like when groping her, so I don't understand why you decided that a series of animations with slight variations would be enough for the pivotal scene where you finally claim her. Sex dialogues are very important.

Good luck.

 

[Ghost'']

Forgotten Diaries [v0.5] Unofficial Android Port

There is no textbox in my ports, so enjoy the game. My ports now have alternate save file, even if you uninstall the game your files will be safe in "Storage<Documents<RenPy_Saves" folder.

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- 437mb.

You can also join my discord server for more ports and support me.

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Yo! Can you buy me a coffee for support me? Tnxx.

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[7empest5teele]

It's slightly disturbing to hear music from one of my all-time favorite games "Love and Magic", though that could portent a good future with this game.
YEAH, hire or enlist an EDITOR for the dialog first off, wow "Yes I can will do that", and "But I want get one thing" in the SAME SENTENCE.
You can enlist fans that can do this as a favor., or you can hire them for a portion of future Patreon donations.

 

[Lightwind21]

i finished this game in 10 minutes, the amount of content is too little. even in terms of text-dialogue.

also when trying to "walk up to the throne and talk to the Queen" with 0 corruption. i get an error.

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/script.rpy", line 3504, in script call
    call intro from _call_intro
  File "game/locations.rpy", line 62, in script call
    "Choose Location"
  File "game/Throneroom.rpy", line 23, in script call
    call queenThroneScene1 from _call_queenThroneScene1
  File "game/script.rpy", line 3504, in script call
    call intro from _call_intro
  File "game/locations.rpy", line 62, in script call
    "Choose Location"
  File "game/Throneroom.rpy", line 23, in script call
    call queenThroneScene1 from _call_queenThroneScene1
ScriptError: could not find label 'queenThroneScene1'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/script.rpy", line 3504, in script call
    call intro from _call_intro
  File "game/locations.rpy", line 62, in script call
    "Choose Location"
  File "game/Throneroom.rpy", line 23, in script call
    call queenThroneScene1 from _call_queenThroneScene1
  File "renpy/ast.py", line 1490, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.context().call(label, return_site=self.next.name)
  File "game/script.rpy", line 3504, in script call
    call intro from _call_intro
  File "game/locations.rpy", line 62, in script call
    "Choose Location"
  File "game/Throneroom.rpy", line 23, in script call
    call queenThroneScene1 from _call_queenThroneScene1
  File "renpy/script.py", line 918, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'queenThroneScene1'.

Windows-10-10.0.19041
Ren'Py 7.4.11.2266
ForgottenDiaries 0.5
Sat Jan 28 20:37:37 2023