I know very well what is like to be depressed and afraid.
For more than 3 months recently,I was at my lowest point in life after a one-night stand whit a France girl from tinder. Let's just say that she was not too kind with her teeth on my dick and it left me a nasty scar on it...But that was not the real problem....the real problem began when I was too drunk to remember to use a condom and she did not remind me to use one. And I was having sex whit a bloody dick for more than 10-15 minutes, It was a hell of a shock to me when I change positions and got a look at what was a bloody mess down there...Long story short after that encounter I started to feel strange and was suffering from anxiety very much because I thot she gave me disease from her. When I google the symptoms it scared me half to death when I somehow believed I got all the symptoms of HIV..That made me very depressed and things got worst when you are told that the most accurate diagnostic for it is in 3 months...So I did not sleep more than 2 hours a night and started gaining weight because I was feeling sad..
I had night terrors and woke always in sweat because of it. You can imagine how that made me feel right knowing you may have a very dangerous disease that can change your life.
But you know what I did...I did not take one day off from work...hell I did not talk to anybody about this because I was so scared about what people will say.
The only time I got half a day off or a full day off work is when I want to get tested 2 times.
One time in the 73 days because I had 2 full nights whit out sleep and felt that I was gonna break mentally..the test was fine but it did not make me feel better because it was not a 100% test. The suffering continues till day 89 when the last of my test happen and I got a full test on every sexual disease know to man and that test was good but I became super anxious after this experience. When I came back 2 weeks later after hiding from a lot of people at a New Year party my really bad mental state the doctor had a look at my test result and he said I was in good health but that I seem very unstable. He did give me some meds and I took them for a week ...Until it made me feel no more emotion but it did help me sleep better.
I stop taking them after the second week because it made me feel like I'm being a zombie.. I still get sometimes the anxiety but I'm all good now.
The point of my story is. All of us were depressed or are still in a bad mental state. But that is not an excuse to just lie down and do nothing and make other pity you...That is one of the reasons you remain depressed. If you see people feel bad for you or if they want to help because of your depressions it will make you feel like you failed in being a human. I don't think anyone wants to be a burden in life but that is what you become if you embrace the Depression.
Out of 13 developers I watch, 7 of them had the same excuse of Depression or Bad mental state and only 2 of them after 3 months of receiving money decided to stop the patron support...it easy to get out of work when you don't need a legal document to see that your condition is real.
So don't accuse me of being on a high horse if you don't know me...All of us have a problem but some of us are not making excuses for it.
So you have some, uh, experience.
Well me too, not that "concentrated" but at least 10 years longer.
I tried the meds too or more like I had been forced to and they actually made me feel the best I remember ever feeling but I've stopped taking them after a year thinking "I'm fine now".
Well I wasn't, it came back though much weaker and I'm still not nearly fine but that's an another story.
I'll just say this - depression differs for every individual, symptoms, feelings, severity, duration, causes etc. so no two cases are the exact same though I'm surprised you still are able to hold such harsh outlook despite.
You have your own past and experiences and someone else has his/her own and some of those people are just not able to get out of it especially alone or at all.
Anyway, although I could go more in dept and kinda want to, this is not a place to talk about it, shouldn't have involved myself in the first place to start this discussion. No, actually I should have never involved myself in any kind of discussion on this website or better yet - on the internet in general.
Stupid fucking mistakes man.
Mods will probably remove my/our off-topic comments again and I'll get an another ban or something
Now to add something more in topic - as cruel as it sounds it's not like I particularly care about the mental state of some random porn game developers more than it's required for them to draw me more porn.
At the same time I obviously don't wish them anything bad either.
I think it's a reasonable approach to take when it comes down to the people you don't really know. I have never intended to attempt to defend cbob in the first place but I guess I ended up doing so anyway.
Though losing cbob's sense of humor forever would've been indeed quite sad.
I wrote that first comment because the issue he apparently struggles with is quite well known to me so I had wanted to provide some insight about how cbob may simply not be able to control his mental state so blaming him for his actions could be unjustified.
Let's just go back to talking about the porn from now on.
