how do you give him the panties more than once?
It was bugged.
Okay, I started a new guy, and redid this book up to this point, and this is what I found. Obviously we had to save Jin from the tunnels first, and then talk to her at the tea shop.
Then I did some crab battles and unlocked the battle with Iroh, beating him (it took 5 matches), getting the panty collection quest, and then the kitty outfit.
Then I went through all of the early Joo Dee material, before going back to Toph in the daytime, getting Katara's Key Quest. After doing that, I went back to the hospital, and Toph's to finish the quest.
After that, I was able to go back to the tea shop and have the option to peep on her.
*Note, this was using the bughunt version.*
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Here are the saves from that version. Never done this before, so hope I did it correctly. Other than the early few, most should be before events. They will be on page 18-19.