LordOfChangeGames
Not sure if this is the best place for it, but thought I would let you know I found a grammar mistake and a kind of plot error (Putting here as your discord link in the main post is broken)
"Sure, I'd be happy to stay", you say, deciding not to hold any grudge to Crystal for what happened the other time. Kara cheers a bit and whispers to you. "Thanks, I really didn't want to wake up at the other end of the town" You laugh and the three of you move to a booth to party, if you call it a party that is...
I think "deciding not to hold any grudge to Crystal" would sound better as "deciding not to hold any grudge against Crystal" or "deciding not to hold a grudge against Crystal"
Also, I got this after I already confronted Crystal herself of being a sissy and then forgave her. Not sure if you get this as well if you say you don't forgive her, but it just was a bit weird to see him saying he now decides to forgive her after they just had a night together.
---
Also a bit later in the quest chain
"Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy!!! It's you!", she exclaims before letting go. She reeked of alcohol and spilled her drink straigth on the bar.
straigth should be straight
and in that same set of dialogue
Whew, that was close. This will be a tough situation to defuse, but at least she didn't take the proposal poorly. "Wha-? No! Why would I even try to annoy Crystal?"
the quoted text should be cyan as it is being spoken by the MC, but it is just white.
-----
Another one
You sit in a rather crummy looking pizzeria not too far away from the Red Vixen. Kara insisted you two would go there however and you easily cave in. On the flip side, she also insisted on paying for the pizza. She soon comes with a small pizza for you two to share and you have to admit that it looks really apetizing.
"Something you learn by living in the big city is that the best pizza is in those barely salubrous joints that close at 5am", she exclaims before taking a large bite, making satisfied sounds as she proceeds to devour her slice.
Oh well, better try it before she eats it all. You take a slice of what seems to be the greasiest vegetarian pizza you have ever layed your eyes upon before taking a bite and you had to admit it wasn't half bad.
apetizing should be appetizing
salubrous should be salubrious
layed should be laid
-----
"Wait... are you jealous?", you ask.
"No, I'm not, but I know you also somewhat fancy her and well... we sort of share you"
You are left dumbfound by the remark, you are both flattered and angered by the remark.
You are cut short in your thoughts as Kara is standing in the doorway to her apartment. "So are you coming or no?"
For those last two lines I would prob reword them like
You are left dumbfound, feeling both flattered and angered by the remark/her words.
Your thoughts are cut short as Kara is standing in the doorway to her apartment. "So are you coming or no?"
Only reason I would do so is repeating 'the remark' twice comes off a bit odd, and the phrase 'Thoughts are cut short' is normally how it is said, rather than 'cut short in thought'
-----
I'll stop editing this post now lol. If there is somewhere you want me to post these though as I go through the game, feel free to let me know. Don't feel like you have to fix them, just thought I would let you know about them as I come across them.