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Joshy92

Devoted Member
Mar 25, 2021
11,288
24,968
I have to disagree with the person who doesn't like the writing.
I think it's one of the best written visual novels around.
And I don't say that lightly.

The first thing I look for when trying a game is good writing.
And this has that in spades.

It makes me care about all the characters.
And want to help them.
Too me that is damn good writing.
 

NeonGhosts

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Mar 20, 2019
1,135
13,206
I was a little curious to see how often "I mean" reoccurs in the script for the current content. The phrase appears 162 times, and the script currently includes 273,283 words. Some of those occurrences are in incidences like a character saying, "I meant --" From a cursory look, the phrase is primarily used by Ashe, whose speech pattern intentionally uses a lot of filler words, something which is actually lampshaded pretty heavily in the next update.

That said, I'll cop to the fact that I have certain tics that make their way into the writing. As I've mentioned before, producing this thing on a pretty tight schedule means I usually only get to write one draft, and then it's off to the races. I don't have time to fine-tune the dialogue and narration, so a lot of it's just written stream-of-consciousness style.

We have to wait till January... I think. :(
She'll have a pretty important appearance in the update following this next one, where MC goes with her and Madison to bail out Madison's husband/Gabby's dad. That'll be out in August/September.

Also, Gabby was just in the last update! D:
 

Old Grumpy Wolf

Devoted Member
Jul 17, 2021
8,925
13,647
I was a little curious to see how often "I mean" reoccurs in the script for the current content. The phrase appears 162 times, and the script currently includes 273,283 words. Some of those occurrences are in incidences like a character saying, "I meant --" From a cursory look, the phrase is primarily used by Ashe, whose speech pattern intentionally uses a lot of filler words, something which is actually lampshaded pretty heavily in the next update.

That said, I'll cop to the fact that I have certain tics that make their way into the writing. As I've mentioned before, producing this thing on a pretty tight schedule means I usually only get to write one draft, and then it's off to the races. I don't have time to fine-tune the dialogue and narration, so a lot of it's just written stream-of-consciousness style.



She'll have a pretty important appearance in the update following this next one, where MC goes with her and Madison to bail out Madison's husband/Gabby's dad. That'll be out in August/September.

Also, Gabby was just in the last update! D:
Ok. isn't that the one where she breaks up with us? If so, that doesn't count.
 
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7empest5teele

Well-Known Member
Dec 23, 2019
1,212
833
I was a little curious to see how often "I mean" reoccurs in the script for the current content. The phrase appears 162 times, and the script currently includes 273,283 words. Some of those occurrences are in incidences like a character saying, "I meant --" From a cursory look, the phrase is primarily used by Ashe, whose speech pattern intentionally uses a lot of filler words, something which is actually lampshaded pretty heavily in the next update.

That said, I'll cop to the fact that I have certain tics that make their way into the writing. As I've mentioned before, producing this thing on a pretty tight schedule means I usually only get to write one draft, and then it's off to the races. I don't have time to fine-tune the dialogue and narration, so a lot of it's just written stream-of-consciousness style.



She'll have a pretty important appearance in the update following this next one, where MC goes with her and Madison to bail out Madison's husband/Gabby's dad. That'll be out in August/September.

Also, Gabby was just in the last update! D:
Hey, I just mentioned how "I Mean" shouldn't START a sentence, having it ANYWHERE else in a paragraph wouldn't be an issue at all.
Again it's a pet peeve, that some believe I shouldn't have even mentioned lol.
What's that phrase "Freedom of speech just watch what you say?"
Edit: Ashe's thing is adding "Like" to many sentences, most of "I Mean" seems to be from the MC, but not entirely since others have begun dialog with that as well.
 

Kulman

Engaged Member
Sep 28, 2017
2,467
6,502
Hey, I just mentioned how "I Mean" shouldn't START a sentence, having it ANYWHERE else in a paragraph wouldn't be an issue at all.
Again it's a pet peeve, that some believe I shouldn't have even mentioned lol.
What's that phrase "Freedom of speech just watch what you say?"
Edit: Ashe's thing is adding "Like" to many sentences, most of "I Mean" seems to be from the MC, but not entirely since others have begun dialog with that as well.
I mean, isnt it fine for characters to have their own ways of speaking? They are not writing an essay, but speaking casually, so it is fitting that they use some forms of imperfect language habitually.
 

7empest5teele

Well-Known Member
Dec 23, 2019
1,212
833
I mean, isnt it fine for characters to have their own ways of speaking? They are not writing an essay, but speaking casually, so it is fitting that they use some forms of imperfect language habitually.
Yeah...you seemed to have missed those two little words reading "Pet Peeve"?
You can have zero problems with how things read, yet have something to say to those that DO have an issue with them?
Oh and don't bother with any backlash, what I said is redundant, it wasn't a question, so it doesn't need an answer.
 

allanl9020142

Well-Known Member
Aug 23, 2018
1,284
2,046
Lmfao another game hopped on the pain train starting many of its sentences with "I MEAN".

Every character sounds fcking retarded when STARTING sentences like that, it's fine when added into an already bound paragraph, yet its nails on a chalkboard to individuals that have this as a pet peeve.

Starting sentences with "I mean". "Yeah, no" "Because" is just irritating to read, when it appears too often, I tend to skip through the nightmare dialog, just relying on the renders...which is not why I download and play this, the story tends to capture my attention when it's not written as if someone desperately wants to be a teen again.
That doesn't particularly grate me. I also sometimes think the writing is good enough for me to ignore the writing quirks that bother me. I think Neon is one of those writers. I can assume he's actually a well-read person and it shows in his writing.

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NeonGhosts

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Mar 20, 2019
1,135
13,206
Not sure if it is my path, but she just popped up for a single talking scene right?
Correct. I know it's not as fun as sex scenes, but I try to have as many characters pop up in an update as I can, even if just to briefly touch base with MC. Next update is gonna be a bit of a rough one in this regard, as it's like 80% Ashe, 10% Viola, 5% Nicki, 4% Risa, and 1% Pepper.
 

TRKaiser

Active Member
Apr 11, 2023
508
1,031
Correct. I know it's not as fun as sex scenes, but I try to have as many characters pop up in an update as I can, even if just to briefly touch base with MC. Next update is gonna be a bit of a rough one in this regard, as it's like 80% Ashe, 10% Viola, 5% Nicki, 4% Risa, and 1% Pepper.
Interesting and captivating story that builds a characters story arch...plus some sex scenes > Mindless sex scene after mindless sex scene with no story or direction
 

Joshy92

Devoted Member
Mar 25, 2021
11,288
24,968
I know people probably wouldn't agree.
But this game is so good I would play it without sex scenes.

They are like a bonus to me.

Although I will be honest, I am hoping in the future.
When we have chosen a specific girl
They will have scenes where they are making love not just having sex.
Maybe a scene like that near the end of the game or something?
 

soldano

Member
Jan 29, 2018
276
464
NeonGhosts, I don't know if it's too complicated to implement, but I've seen some games that allow you to name the saves. It's not that it's super important, but it would help those of us who have several gameplays. I made a mistake yesterday and saved one in the wrong file, deleting another gameplay... Anyway, if it's easy to implement, I'd appreciate it.
 
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Old Grumpy Wolf

Devoted Member
Jul 17, 2021
8,925
13,647
Next update is gonna be a bit of a rough one in this regard, as it's like 80% Ashe, 10% Viola, 5% Nicki, 4% Risa, and 1% Pepper.
Guess I do need to wait till January to play again. I got this... No, I don't...



Although I will be honest, I am hoping in the future.
When we have chosen a specific girl
They will have scenes where they are making love not just having sex.
Maybe a scene like that near the end of the game or something?
Agreed. Also, more scenes with Gabby and Mason. :p
 
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