JoeTheMC84

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Dec 1, 2021
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Gabriella is sexy for sure; I can't wait to see the love path action with her.

I do agree that sometimes Daz can hit the uncanny valley, but if these 3 latest examples are anything to go by you've got the ability to make good looking renders.

I can't speak to the Patreon question directly because I don't use their service for many reasons, not least of which is because they kowtowed to the moral busybodies about banning some content that is not even illegal. However, I will say it might be a good idea to offer such a tier, perhaps 2$ would be better than 3$ but I can't say. Maybe someone else can help you with more information.
 
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NeonGhosts

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Mar 20, 2019
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Something written in a spoiler?
No, I haven't read it. That's why this option exists, to give optional information, which may or may not be read, without making the post too long. If it's something essential, it should be displayed in plain sight in my opinion.

But that's fine, thanks for letting me know. I will play the extended version and change my rating accordingly.
Thanks for giving it another shot, and amending your review. Hope to see you back for Chapter Two! :cool:(y)
 

zedascove

Active Member
Jul 13, 2018
525
1,116
Personally, one of my favorite routes is being nice, and then deciding that Nicki might enjoy some anal, without consulting her first. That puts you on the path where she's mad at you, but not traumatized.

Sorry to hear the visuals didn't quite land. I am indeed taking over the art duties for the foreseeable future. As an artist that comes from a 2D/illustration background, Daz always has a bit of an uncanny valley vibe to me. But, I'm happy with the first chapter.

That said, it will look different going forward. Not because I'm intentionally trying to make it different, but just because I have my own perspective, way of doing things, and hardware limitations. Hopefully people enjoy what I'm cooking up.

View attachment 1733868 View attachment 1733867

Also - PATREON QUESTION - if I created a lower tier that just gave access to development art and other stuff, but didn't give early access to the game, would people be interested in that? Think of it as kind of a tip jar that gives you access to a development blog. I'm thinking like $3.

I don't intend to ever embargo the game for overly long periods anyways - the current tiers are basically $5 and you get the game a week ahead of the official release, $15 and you get it as soon as it's ready, and $50 gets you the text-only next chapter, if you're just dying to know where it's going.

It's not a huge gulf between $3 and $5, but when you're pledging to a lot of Patreons, I know it can add up quickly - so I'd like to give people the option of showing support, without necessarily having to chip in $5 a month.
I like where this game is going and I think the renders are good but sadly I can't feel aroused by that girl no matter how hard I try.

Hopefuly the next model will be more to my taste.
 
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NeonGhosts

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Mar 20, 2019
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I like where this game is going and I think the renders are good but sadly I can't feel aroused by that girl no matter how hard I try.

Hopefuly the next model will be more to my taste.
Different strokes for different folks! I’m a big fan of punky little undercuts, but they’re not for everyone. I am curious what’s not working for you though - her look isn’t totally set yet, and she’s likely to change her hair color a few times in the course of the story.

Maybe her personality will win you over. She’s a real “Daddy’s girl.” ;)
 

Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
3,765
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Hm, the new LI is not really to my taste. The model looks good...but that hairstyle, a half shaved rodent...
Well, on the plus side she already has a collar, just need a leash on it. We will find a use for her, maybe a maid, who wouldn't want one.
 
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NeonGhosts

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Hm, the new LI is not really to my taste. The model looks good...but that hairstyle, a half shaved rodent...
Well, on the plus side she already has a collar, just need a leash on it. We will find a use for her, maybe a maid, who wouldn't want one.
Hah! Poor Gabby, it’s tough out here for a girl trying to find her style. She did initially have more hair. I pictured kind of a cotton candy cloud of hair on her.

But, I prefer the side-hawk.

9EF9D4EC-6F29-473C-97DF-C85540EF730C.jpeg

That said, another love interest will appear in chapter two alongside Gabby, and she’s a bit more traditional. :)
 

loikl

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Feb 14, 2018
1,258
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Good game, I like to see a protagonist who is not a naive romantic when clearly the girl is going for his money.

But I have some doubts about the routes, in these games there are generally 2 routes (love and corruption) but in your case there are 3, the first one is clearly something close to the "love" route, the second seems to be the corruption route, but the third is more a kind of "sadic" route with no purpose other than to hurt.

Obviously there will be those who enjoy sadism but I think that routes 2 and 3 could well unice in 1 (corruption), that is, in the first route the protagonist is good with the girl and she falls in love, the usual, while in route 2 the MC turns the girl into his whore, and although she resists at the beginning, in the end she ends up corrupted and submissive (as in the NTR stories, of course the MC is the bad guy).

Obviously this is just a suggestion, but it could fit in well with the game environment especially since not many (I think) like sadism as it is (most asked how to avoid it at the beginning of this thread).

Anyway, good luck and as long as the MC continues to be the one who wears the pants in the story, I'm sure I'll take a look at it later.
 

NeonGhosts

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Mar 20, 2019
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Good game, I like to see a protagonist who is not a naive romantic when clearly the girl is going for his money.

But I have some doubts about the routes, in these games there are generally 2 routes (love and corruption) but in your case there are 3, the first one is clearly something close to the "love" route, the second seems to be the corruption route, but the third is more a kind of "sadic" route with no purpose other than to hurt.

Obviously there will be those who enjoy sadism but I think that routes 2 and 3 could well unice in 1 (corruption), that is, in the first route the protagonist is good with the girl and she falls in love, the usual, while in route 2 the MC turns the girl into his whore, and although she resists at the beginning, in the end she ends up corrupted and submissive (as in the NTR stories, of course the MC is the bad guy).

Obviously this is just a suggestion, but it could fit in well with the game environment especially since not many (I think) like sadism as it is (most asked how to avoid it at the beginning of this thread).

Anyway, good luck and as long as the MC continues to be the one who wears the pants in the story, I'm sure I'll take a look at it later.
Thanks for the interest and kind words. No worries, the MC is a dom type, even when he's a nice guy, so he'll continue to "wear the pants." Well, until it's time to take the pants off.
 
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desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,302
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Thanks for the interest and kind words. No worries, the MC is a dom type, even when he's a nice guy, so he'll continue to "wear the pants." Well, until it's time to take the pants off.

I think you'll be happy with how Nicki's relationship with the MC develops. Not to give anything away, but you're definitely onto something. Logistically.. it would be very difficult to keep Nicki in the story, when she's an utter wreck of a human being, constantly humiliated and beaten down by the MC. And it wouldn't be very fun to write. The MC mentions her pluck and sass in the first chapter, and over time we'll see that quality emerge.

But, I'll also say this - people are thinking of the game as built on "routes" - which is kind of correct, especially at this juncture. But really, what I'm trying to do is develop a story that relies on a rudimentary point system, which will be steadily altering your game as it continues. As you play, you accumulate points for the girls, as well as "dark points," for the MC, which will open or close certain dialogue options, choices, and narrative descriptions.

A character who has a dark point rating of 6, for instance (which you earn by playing the "bad" route in Chapter One) won't see the world in the same way as a character with a point value of 3, or 0. So, if you were a good boy in the first chapter, upon meeting Gabby you might think, "Wow, she's cute! What a little body on her.." while a bad guy might think, "Fuck, if we were alone I'd put a leash on that collar and make her howl.."

Now, that said - even a good guy can choose to make mean decisions when meeting a new girl, and vice versa. Your MC might think Nicki is a money-grubbing whore, and Gabby is a sweet kid. Or that Nicki is a cherished friend, and Gabby is a snotty little punk who needs a cock down her throat. As you accumulate points with the girls, this can begin to alter scenes in interesting ways. I'm writing a scene right now where two of the love interests meet, and their interactions with one another change based on whether both like you, both hate you, or one likes you and one hates you. Makes for a really interesting dynamic!

Also, you do have the option to be nicer (or meaner) to most of the girls, as you progress through the game. The next time you see Nicki, if you were a monster to her the first time, that will obviously color your interaction with her, and how she sees you. But, you'll also have the option to be kinder, which might realign your relationship to be less hostile.
I like your overall plan. Implementing it as you envision could take considerable effort on alternate dialogues. But I am with you 100% on variable MC dispositions based on choices. Many games have different routes on the good/evil scale, but they don't alter the MC's thoughts and actions meaningfully during normal dialogues that are not part of an immediate morality choice. That could lead to the MC feeling bipolar.

I do have one piece of advice though. I took a brief look at the script file, and it seems like you are using a few variables to determine the relationship status. Like if you were dick to her, you get nickidkpts+3 or something like that. The issue with this approach is that the game has no way of determining your past actions based on just this variable. It can only determine the current status, but not how you arrived at that score.

It's always beneficial to make good use of flags along with variables. Like if you treated her as a whore in chapter 1, give nickiwhore1 = True. Now you can reference how the initial relationship went later on if needed, even if the player decides to start being nice to her or whatever.
 
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Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
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Hah! Poor Gabby, it’s tough out here for a girl trying to find her style. She did initially have more hair. I pictured kind of a cotton candy cloud of hair on her.

But, I prefer the side-hawk.

View attachment 1734661

That said, another love interest will appear in chapter two alongside Gabby, and she’s a bit more traditional. :)
Now with full hair she looks quite good, that would be more of a romance choice for me :giggle:
I'm loocking forward for the 2nd girl than... Still i'm curious for the choices we get this time, for Gabby, a ''daddys girl'' has some potential for a nice corruption route. Not planning of going Klingon on her ass like i did with Nicki thought...well not yet, if she is a nice girl.
 
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NeonGhosts

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Mar 20, 2019
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I like your overall plan. Implementing it as you envision could take considerable effort on alternate dialogues. But I am with you 100% on variable MC dispositions based on choices. Many games have different routes on the good/evil scale, but they don't alter the MC's thoughts and actions meaningfully during normal dialogues that are not part of an immediate morality choice. That could lead to the MC feeling bipolar.

I do have one piece of advice though. I took a brief look at the script file, and it seems like you are using a few variables to determine the relationship status. Like if you were dick to her, you get nickidkpts+3 or something like that. The issue with this approach is that the game has no way of determining your past actions based on just this variable. It can only determine the current status, but not how you arrived at that score.

It's always beneficial to make good use of flags along with variables. Like if you treated her as a whore in chapter 1, give nickiwhore1 = True. Now you can reference how the initial relationship went later on if needed, even if the player decides to start being nice to her or whatever.
It definitely has created a bit of extra work on the dialogue side. But, a fortunate thing about writing with a second-person narrator is that I can kind of talk at the player/character, without always needing the MC to carry the dialogue. So there are some decent stretches where the story can be carried with broadly applicable descriptor, before giving a brief glimpse into the MC's mind. And I'm kind of playing the evil MC as amicable and charming in day to day interactions, until that mask occasionally slips and his true nature peeks out.

Thanks for mentioning that, regarding flags/variables. My early code is a mess. It improves a bit in Ch2, and in Ch3 I've got most of the kinks worked out. I actually solved this specific problem by having a quick recap where the MC recalls the events of the previous chapter, by referencing the points earned with Nicki. Each of those passages then creates a flag so I can call back to how Ch1 played out.

This is part of why I worked a few chapters ahead. Being new to Ren'py, I didn't know what I didn't know, and wanted to make sure everything worked properly a few chapters in.
 

JoeTheMC84

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Dec 1, 2021
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It definitely has created a bit of extra work on the dialogue side. But, a fortunate thing about writing with a second-person narrator is that I can kind of talk at the player/character, without always needing the MC to carry the dialogue. So there are some decent stretches where the story can be carried with broadly applicable descriptor, before giving a brief glimpse into the MC's mind. And I'm kind of playing the evil MC as amicable and charming in day to day interactions, until that mask occasionally slips and his true nature peeks out.

Thanks for mentioning that, regarding flags/variables. My early code is a mess. It improves a bit in Ch2, and in Ch3 I've got most of the kinks worked out. I actually solved this specific problem by having a quick recap where the MC recalls the events of the previous chapter, by referencing the points earned with Nicki. Each of those passages then creates a flag so I can call back to how Ch1 played out.

This is part of why I worked a few chapters ahead. Being new to Ren'py, I didn't know what I didn't know, and wanted to make sure everything worked properly a few chapters in.
I think that's smart and good way to have his day-to-day not seem bipolar. He has his public face, clean and good natured and then his private face, which can also be that way or very different. Some playing him as a "bad guy" will know he is acting, someone playing him as a "good guy" is just seeing him act how he is. It's a good idea.

And it's early enough that you can use the points to create the flag now as opposed to breaking peoples saves or having to make a revamp later like some games end up having to do. So, good call there, getting it fixed early.
 

Harem Trooper

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Oct 4, 2017
1,254
2,515
Thanks! I've got the next three updates fully written and scripted into Ren'py, and there will be plenty of options for romantic (and less-than-romantic..) encounters in the future.
Tell me more about these three updates :devilish:
I bet we will see Nicki one way or another. Be it that her stupid BF gambled it away once more or that MC finds a way to interact with her so we can corrupt her more. Im played the romance path with a bit of corruption. Cant wait to see more and where this is going.
Whats also is interesting...the MC mentions that there could be other girls having a similar problem like Nicki.
So...is that a hint for more girls or is this just a thought the MC had without any real meaning. :unsure:

A single parent mom needs some money for her kids shoes, a housewife tries to handle her drunk husbans debts etc :devilish:
 

NeonGhosts

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Game Developer
Mar 20, 2019
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I hope pregnancy comes into play at some point.
It might be tricky with the progression of time in the game, to see the MC impregnate someone. But, it might be endgame content for a couple characters. However, the MC might come into contact with a young, single mom whose deadbeat boyfriend ran out on her once she got pregnant.

Tell me more about these three updates :devilish:
I bet we will see Nicki one way or another. Be it that her stupid BF gambled it away once more or that MC finds a way to interact with her so we can corrupt her more. Im played the romance path with a bit of corruption. Cant wait to see more and where this is going.
Whats also is interesting...the MC mentions that there could be other girls having a similar problem like Nicki.
So...is that a hint for more girls or is this just a thought the MC had without any real meaning. :unsure:

A single parent mom needs some money for her kids shoes, a housewife tries to handle her drunk husbans debts etc
I'm finding the peril of working ahead is that I really want to tease things coming down the line.. But, I have to refrain for now. Rest assured however, Nicki will be back. But, if all goes to plan, you might actually see her somewhere unexpected, first..

And yes, that tease at the end is most definitely setting up the trajectory of the game. I wanted to be a bit vague in the initial description of the game, not revealing more than is strictly necessary.
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Once the initial thrust of the story is established, I was thinking it would be fun to have polls to choose the next "Friend in Need" that the MC comes into contact with. These characters wouldn't necessarily play huge parts in the overall game - they'd be more like one-off characters visiting the MC's charity office, before being subjected to kind of a "casting couch" interview. And the characters could return if they're really popular. It'd be structured something like this:
  • Mariana, 24 year old Hispanic immigrant, brought to the US as a baby and now at the risk of being deported.
  • Brooke, gay 18 year old girl, aging out of the foster care system and facing homelessness.
  • Ashley, 38 year old mother of two, recently widowed and buried under a mountain of medical debt.
  • Beryl, 19 year old social media influencer, recently cancelled for faking Tourette syndrome for clout.
I think that'd be a fun way to create a level of community involvement/fetish fulfillment in the game, without necessarily adjusting my vision for the overall story.

I have bad feelings about this game at first, i thought mc is monster in humans body, i was wrong cause player can choose how mc behaves: like pervert, good friend or predator. This game is like psychological experiment:unsure:
Thanks and good luck!
Thanks! I think "psychological experiment" is a good way of phrasing it. :D
 

NeonGhosts

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Game Developer
Mar 20, 2019
1,076
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Endgame or already pregnant?
Hah! I'm not ruling anything out, but I want to be honest about the odds. I have the game loosely mapped out through the first "season" of eight chapters. If this little project is successful and people are still enjoying it, that may well lead to the creation of a second season, which could allow for a time-jump where something like player-driven pregnancy content is on the table.

But in the immediate future - already-pregnant, fantasy/dream sequences, or general talk around pregnancy is the best you're likely to get. It's not really a kink of mine anyways, so I don't know that I'd be the best one to carry that torch. But like I said, I plan to (eventually!) start implementing girls for short/self-contained stories decided on by Patreon polls, to allow for the introduction of specific kinky content, that might not fit in the game. :D
 
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4.50 star(s) 204 Votes