ArborElf
I went again and spellchecked the English intro. The most important part of a game is the intro and if people see this level of spelling there's a risk they're going to stop playing right then and there.
'In this universe humans are a minority they had been dived close to extinction'
'dived is not the right word for this, it would be 'driven', but honestly it should be written like this
'In this universe, humans are a minority that have been driven close to extinction.'
Sidenote: this is pretty poorly demonstrated in the game, given the amount of human NPCs you can see in just the starting town.
'they are the specie that can mate and breed with all the races of FUR'
'specie' should be 'species'
'find your place among the races and unravel all the myteries that you can find exploring all this lands, would our hero be able to find love'
'myteries' should be 'mysteries' and there are extra spaces between 'and' and 'unravel' and 'our hero' and 'be able'
'exploring all this lands' is wrong too, it should be 'exploring these lands'.
'maybe an harem or he would be dirven into despair, it would depends on the choices he made.'
'dirven' should be 'driven'
Probably needs a general rewrite, something like 'maybe a harem, or would he be driven into despair? it would depend on the choices he makes.'
Even this is messy tbh.
'Im Starving, I do really need to starting something of a living, maybe i should go to the adventurers guild to register.'
A lot of errors. I'll just make an example of how it should look.
'I'm starving, I really need to start doing something for a living. Maybe I should go to the adventurer's guild to register.'
The main issue is the missing comma in 'Im', the capitalization in 'Starving' and 'I do really need to starting something of a living'.
'hmm what do we have here? oh wow a human, you look kinda delicious but im only intrested on strong preys, why dont you go to the guild house and register yourself as an adventurer?
Lack of capitalization on 'hmm', it should be 'Hmm'
Lack of capitalization on 'oh', it should be 'Oh' because of the question mark before it.
Lack of comma in 'im'
'intrested' instead of 'interested'
'on' instead of 'in'
Lack of comma in 'dont'
She is literally saying the exact same thing the character just said to himself in the other scene. I expect this character will be voiced later, so please considering re-writing this entire bit because it's really a mess and just fixing the spelling isn't going to fix the flow/pacing issues right now.
'oh wow a RedFox, are you some kind of magician'
Lack of capitalization on 'oh'
'ygea as i can tell you are kinda lost in this world i already lost interest in some one so dull like you.'
'ygea' instead of ??? I assume it was supposed to be 'Yeah' also no captionization on 'y'
Major issue with the entire thing again, should be re-written.
'Yeah, as I can tell you're kinda lost in this world. I've already lost in someone so dull.' My example re-write.
'maybe our path would cross over again once you become a nice excelent prey to devour So, are you going to the guildhouse? if so remember is straight to the North.'
Lack of capitalization on 'Maybe'
'excelent' instead of 'excellent'
'guildhouse' is now without a space.
Random capitalization on 'So' without a period.
'remember is straight to the North' should be remember it's straight to the north'. Cardial directions are not capitalized unless they're being used as a noun, like 'She is from North Poland'
I left out the guild secretary, but if I remember correctly her spelling wasn't the best either.