VN Ren'Py Grand Duke Valeran - Building a Harem in Another World [v0.3.5-public] [Mr.I.Game]

[STATE_]

I love the story so far the Mc is getting stronger just need to see the training put to work but if the story turns into that of a female fighting battles for him and the Mc not even trying that's just being full on coward even in his old life he should know better and hopefully not hide behind his maid and cousin and start making moves besides waiting and planning

 

[mr.i.game]

I love the story so far the Mc is getting stronger just need to see the training put to work but if the story turns into that of a female fighting battles for him and the Mc not even trying that's just being full on coward even in his old life he should know better and hopefully not hide behind his maid and cousin and start making moves besides waiting and planning

Haha, don't worry, bro. This is a fantasy game, so there's definitely gonna be some epic adventures
Oh, and whatever you do, don't trust the MC's plans =]]

 

[Juerhullycin]

Exactly! My game might be long, but that's because the story demands it—There are plenty of details that need to be written. I'd never drag the story out just for the sake of making it... longer =]]

Oh, you know Namek? Then you must know Conan, right? Namek's got nothing on Conan when it comes to stretching things out

pretty bummed out that the chase for blood was so short could have been some solid 5 updates

 

[mr.i.game]

pretty bummed out that the chase for blood was so short could have been some solid 5 updates

Hehe, it's just a funny little moment. I didn't want it to drag on and mess with the main storyline (okay, that's a lie—funny scenes are super hard to write, so I kept it short ) =]]

 

[STATE_]

Haha, don't worry, bro. This is a fantasy game, so there's definitely gonna be some epic adventures
Oh, and whatever you do, don't trust the MC's plans =]]

Alright im waiting for the older beast girl to show lol

 

[acowasto]

A typical story of being nobody isekai'ed into another world, turning to be someone rather important and having to save said world because of reasons.

I liked the concept of this one, because MC was isekai'ed into another world to have a second chance at life, but with a price of taking over a weakling from a dying lineage. It meant at least some struggle to achive something, a character development in progress.

Yeah, it was... for like a two chapters, just to be simply given almost everything for but a 10 minutes of crawling. Then a simple touch to uncrystal an angel granding MC access to basically infinite knowledge and resources solving almost all of his problems. After such great start it feels cheap. Weak body? Drink this. Not being able to use martial magic? Merge with this crystal. Not being able to cast spells? Learn from the angel. Your maid can't progress more? Just get get some other crystals.

At least MC in this one isn't another passive and mentally challanged character, but simply a horny man in need of leaving a load.

But, for the love of Man-Emperor of Mankind, stop with all that dialogues and explanations explaining every single little detail of the world and characters. It's simply too much unnecessary informations in too short time not to only read, but also remember it for further use.

I know I am retarded, but I ain't that retarded and I don't need to have everything explained little piece by bpiece and certainly I don't feel like making notes about that especially when I don't have a reason to actually use it.

Seriously, there's like knights ranks and thier powers, world map with kingdoms and thier borders, "War in heavens" in which gods have died to lock an octopus in someone's ass, church of heretics, some political ploys just simply one after another and MC didn't even moved from his bed.

Simply show, don't tell. And do it when it's required for a situation.
Seriously, don't explain me the ranks of knights and how powerful they are if there is no reason for it, but show me an example.

A simple example of a celestial winged badass knight. Show me that he is so powerful he's capable of simply going solo against an army and survive to tell the tale. Just give me three pictures of that knight. One him, second an army and third, an impact crater filled with bodies and said knight standing in the midddle of it with his weapon in hand ready to take another army. And then simply tell me who he was and tell me that battle was but a simple warmup for him.

I'll follow this for a while to see it's progress. I hope you will succeed with it.

 

[mr.i.game]

A typical story of being nobody isekai'ed into another world, turning to be someone rather important and having to save said world because of reasons.

I liked the concept of this one, because MC was isekai'ed into another world to have a second chance at life, but with a price of taking over a weakling from a dying lineage. It meant at least some struggle to achive something, a character development in progress.

Yeah, it was... for like a two chapters, just to be simply given almost everything for but a 10 minutes of crawling. Then a simple touch to uncrystal an angel granding MC access to basically infinite knowledge and resources solving almost all of his problems. After such great start it feels cheap. Weak body? Drink this. Not being able to use martial magic? Merge with this crystal. Not being able to cast spells? Learn from the angel. Your maid can't progress more? Just get get some other crystals.

At least MC in this one isn't another passive and mentally challanged character, but simply a horny man in need of leaving a load.

But, for the love of Man-Emperor of Mankind, stop with all that dialogues and explanations explaining every single little detail of the world and characters. It's simply too much unnecessary informations in too short time not to only read, but also remember it for further use.

I know I am retarded, but I ain't that retarded and I don't need to have everything explained little piece by bpiece and certainly I don't feel like making notes about that especially when I don't have a reason to actually use it.

Seriously, there's like knights ranks and thier powers, world map with kingdoms and thier borders, "War in heavens" in which gods have died to lock an octopus in someone's ass, church of heretics, some political ploys just simply one after another and MC didn't even moved from his bed.

Simply show, don't tell. And do it when it's required for a situation.
Seriously, don't explain me the ranks of knights and how powerful they are if there is no reason for it, but show me an example.

A simple example of a celestial winged badass knight. Show me that he is so powerful he's capable of simply going solo against an army and survive to tell the tale. Just give me three pictures of that knight. One him, second an army and third, an impact crater filled with bodies and said knight standing in the midddle of it with his weapon in hand ready to take another army. And then simply tell me who he was and tell me that battle was but a simple warmup for him.

I'll follow this for a while to see it's progress. I hope you will succeed with it.

Thanks for taking the time to check out my game and write such a thoughtful, detailed comment.

About the info overload in the first two chapters— I'm sorry it ruined your experience. Honestly, you're not the first person to call me out on this. When I was writing those chapters, I did consider spreading the information out across later parts of the story, bit by bit. But... I just couldn't pull it off. My writing skills are still pretty raw

Okay, let me give you a small excuse—just an excuse, alright? Hear me out, lol:
Imagine you're in the MC's shoes, lying on that bed, and suddenly a flood of information comes crashing into your brain—knight ranks, the church, family history, and more. It's overwhelming, like your head's about to explode. So, yeah, my writing gives you that same headache. Immersion, right? (Just kidding, don't throw rocks at me )

Good news: the info-dumping only happens once! The later chapters won't hit you with walls of text like that anymore. Pinky promise

As for the "cheat" I gave the MC—it's just to keep things from being too brutal. Imagine a weakling who can't cultivate martial energy going up against enemies stronger than gods, with world-ending power. What could he possibly do? Even with these cheats, his journey is far from easy. They just give him a glimmer of hope, not an instant win button.

Thanks again for sticking with it! I hope you'll keep playing and see how things unfold

 

[acowasto]

Thanks for taking the time to check out my game and write such a thoughtful, detailed comment.

About the info overload in the first two chapters— I'm sorry it ruined your experience. Honestly, you're not the first person to call me out on this. When I was writing those chapters, I did consider spreading the information out across later parts of the story, bit by bit. But... I just couldn't pull it off. My writing skills are still pretty raw

Okay, let me give you a small excuse—just an excuse, alright? Hear me out, lol:
Imagine you're in the MC's shoes, lying on that bed, and suddenly a flood of information comes crashing into your brain—knight ranks, the church, family history, and more. It's overwhelming, like your head's about to explode. So, yeah, my writing gives you that same headache. Immersion, right? (Just kidding, don't throw rocks at me )

Good news: the info-dumping only happens once! The later chapters won't hit you with walls of text like that anymore. Pinky promise

As for the "cheat" I gave the MC—it's just to keep things from being too brutal. Imagine a weakling who can't cultivate martial energy going up against enemies stronger than gods, with world-ending power. What could he possibly do? Even with these cheats, his journey is far from easy. They just give him a glimmer of hope, not an instant win button.

Thanks again for sticking with it! I hope you'll keep playing and see how things unfold

It didn't ruin my experience that much, but was certainly overwhelming with the amount of informations. It felt more like I was in school and my teacher just dumped at my desk one textbook after another and told me to read it, because it's important. Even though that overflow of information is but a one-time thing, I can't really say it's a good news. I just pushed through it instead of enjoying reading it. Which means I simply can't recall much of those informations.

I simply expected to have those informations spread out a bit more through the chapters, so I can actually rest some time before reading another worldbuilding data informations. Like, for example, MC recalling informations about world and borders when meeting with uncle for the first time. Recalling knowledge about knights, thier ranks and power levels when talking with maid about her's power level and training, cutting "War in Heavens" into few meetings with our angel, because MC can't simply take all that great knowlege in one go, due to being too weak instead of being simply bored to death.

Well, there ain't perfect writters. Everyone started somewhere and sucked more or less at start. You'll get better with time.

 

[mr.i.game]

It didn't ruin my experience that much, but was certainly overwhelming with the amount of informations. It felt more like I was in school and my teacher just dumped at my desk one textbook after another and told me to read it, because it's important. Even though that overflow of information is but a one-time thing, I can't really say it's a good news. I just pushed through it instead of enjoying reading it. Which means I simply can't recall much of those informations.

I simply expected to have those informations spread out a bit more through the chapters, so I can actually rest some time before reading another worldbuilding data informations. Like, for example, MC recalling informations about world and borders when meeting with uncle for the first time. Recalling knowledge about knights, thier ranks and power levels when talking with maid about her's power level and training, cutting "War in Heavens" into few meetings with our angel, because MC can't simply take all that great knowlege in one go, due to being too weak instead of being simply bored to death.

Well, there ain't perfect writters. Everyone started somewhere and sucked more or less at start. You'll get better with time.

Hehe, good idea! I'll keep your suggestions in mind if I ever decide to remake the prologue, but definitely not anytime soon

 

[cosmicv1]

Hey, this game looks interesting, but I just have a question. At this point in the game does the Mc have an harem? And I mean that the girls the Mc is with knows about each other and they all know they with the same guy? I don't really care for sex scenes without romance, and I don't really like it when the Mc hides his relationships with girls.

 

[mr.i.game]

Hey, this game looks interesting, but I just have a question. At this point in the game does the Mc have an harem? And I mean that the girls the Mc is with knows about each other and they all know they with the same guy? I don't really care for sex scenes without romance, and I don't really like it when the Mc hides his relationships with girls.

Right now, the MC has only slept with one girl, so no harem yet. As for romance, don't worry—that's the dev's favorite thing
And nope, no hiding relationships here. The society in this game allows nobles to have multiple lovers, so the girls are pretty chill with sharing the same guy.

 

[52s]

Interesting beginning to the game. Looking forward to where the author takes the story, and the characters so far are decent!