Here are more typos or grammar I found: 1) Capital Don't 2) Capital Right 3) This doesn't make sense. Probably better as "So I pushed his hand away. He was so shameless!"
4) Add a space 5) Add a period 6) didn't 7) full-fledged 8) add a comma after law 9) add punctuation 10) on my ass 11) Your 12) you thirsty. This is a choice prompt. 13) full-fledged 14) This seems to be two separate thoughts. Better add a period after the MC name. 15) Better as "She just got here after getting fucked" 16) Seems an unfinished thought. What is MC trying to call Leo? 17) lusting after 18) remove "when". Or review what you wanted to say here, as the sentence doesn't really sound good. 19) remove the / or replace it 20) + 21) + 22) + 23) maybe nitpick but add punctuation 24) You've piqued my curiosity 25) punctuation after "right" 26) + 27) + 28) after these lines, the phone rings again, but no sound happens. 29) Capitalized Then 30) This is when MC and Molly are on the phone, and Molly is trying to tell MC what Tom is looking for. Should change it to "Let's hear it...." 31) Better to change it to "make love out here" or "out in the open" or something similar to reduce repetition of the word balcony. 32) forgot the question mark? This is when Lauren is talking to Leo on the balcony. 33) Would make more sense to change floor with room. This is a prompt choice. 34) missed a space "Even though" 35) It's "spruce" in this case 36) "Look at the mess" 37) new and improved 38) have to settle 39) you are 40) not sure if I have brought this up, but what is Y suppose to be here? 41) drank 42) "yourselves" since there is two of them 43) is still missing 44) prepped 45) punctuation after the 2nd sentence 46) should be "It's" 47) remove the dots. Also, for the last sentence, it would be better as "That she came in my mouth" 48) punctuation 49) swap the last part "she is so going to" 50) swap Charlie and bastard 51) period after whore 52) either add a comma after giggling, or change it to "like a little girl!" 53) Kirsten here ignores the player's custom name for the MC 54) period after bitch. This is when Kirsten is eating MC out on day 4. 55) staying 56) I thought I reported this but couldn't find it. Add a period after "there". 57) if I don't stop 58) punctuation 59) tasting 60) He doesn't even 61) he's going to 62) this is during the poker night. I don't think her eyes look right here. Did she get mascara in her eyeball?
I have noticed that there are times in the game where there seems to be a sound effect that should play, such as phone ringing, or a doorbell, but only the text appears without the sound playing. I did point some of those out but best to go over the entire script and double check. Specifically in the first 3 days.