Sure, I’ll bite.
Accepting that it’s not going to go away, here’s what I think can improve it.
While I do think that the exposition being too unnecessarily wordy is more useful feedback than preachiness. I’ll see if I can point out both. I think a lot of exposition, especially long sections about people or locations or ideas that we don’t interact with often, makes it feel disconnected, which may be because I was already trending there. Autumn’s religion sections were alright, but meeting characters related to it made it feel more useful than things you never touch. As someone mentioned, instead of visiting the museum again to read an article about a rebellion leader, have them talk to you, or a new character or the like. I remember Nia’s events and those felt much more dynamic than the conversations alone. Going to where they sold slaves taught me more than any dialogue could do. It gives context, it shows me, not tells me.
While not inherently badly, when it’s long idle conversations about something not immediately relevant, or visually present, it feels like a distraction. Maybe you’ve changed that up already.
As for preachy, the villains are often, as someone else described, too cartoony to offer the nuance necessary to make it interesting. Maybe it’s hidden in the dialogue but I often see no reason to do anything but dislike them, so when the characters keep rallying to beat them, and keeps talking about how bad they, it gives me a sense of, “yeah, we get it already.”
I’ve read a tip online that many writers care too much about the plot and the details, over the characters themselves. I think this game is strongest when it’s about the character’s personal emotions. I don’t care inherently about elven lore, to be quite honest currently, I care very little at all, but when I do it’s because it involves characters, rather than something too abstract. I care more about the elf in front of me compared to the elf in another continent.
For me, the twins are the most successful of the storylines even if they aren’t as involved, because continuously, they react and engage with each other. Their relationship is the bread and butter. Similarly, I liked when Ashley comforted Maria, or when Maria corrupts Autumn, and that’s good. That’s character development. That’s engaging. That’s unique to HH and where it shines. The “Harem” of Harem Hotel if you will.
This may be controversial but I think chopping up larger plot scenes into multiple sectioned smaller scenes helps the pacing better. Often times the length of scenes varies. Sometimes when I’m expecting a short scene, it just keeps going and going, adding to the sense of frustration, and being trapped and unable to leave the scene, while others may be much shorter, and end before I am expecting to stop. Essentially the bite sizes would let a player refresh.
I think the scene with Lin where you are kidnapped has both good and bad with it. First, it does last so long, it takes the steam out of whatever momentum you had, and whatever you planned to do afterwards. However that’s probably on purpose, I understand. I liked that every now and then you were told to give a response to Lin. It breaks it up a little. I think if you had added a section where you have to click around objects, only to affirm you cannot escape, it gives you a reset, and has the player engage again.
In fact these shorter scenes could include some more casual or lewd scenes. I remember having a lot of fun with Moon and Kali’s scene this patch. Having each character have one long plot related scene makes logical sense, but that can be tiring to play through without padding and pacing. I feel like I have to learn and process so much, when once in a while I just want to hang out with the characters, or pet the cat in Felicity’s room.
I think adding more of these down time scenes, and many already do exist, would continue to make the game and characters feel alive. I think that’s a large part of the joy that I had mentioned, and a large part of the fun that I felt the older scenes had even if they’re less sophisticated.
We don’t always need to go to a cabin out in the snow for a very long dialogue, a short scene with the girls gossiping early on felt comfy as is. It contributes to a better flow for the game, the “Hotel” of Harem Hotel if you will.
I think better pacing and handling of plot material could make it much more engaging and easier to parse. I think that focusing on action, and characters helps to keep a player invested. And I think that the adding more varied scenes with more down time, especially with interactions between girls, helps make the game feel alive.
I’m hoping that this helps.
