- Aug 4, 2021
- 119
- 235
I wish I put as much effort into my studies as you did writing this.I will answer this question genuinely as I believe this was a genuine question, and I need to distract myself a little bit.
In the simplest term, liking feminine features with a masculine sex does not make you gay. How you perceive yourself in that scenario, and what type of gender (not sex) you are attracted to determines whether you are homosexual or not.
Sex is intrinsically connected with dominance/submissiveness. In a sex scenario, you are either the dominant force or the submissive force. This is not connected with genitalia, as you can have dominant women or submissive men. Generally, submissiveness is linked to femininity, and dominance to masculinity. This is why in certain situations, you will see people say 'that's gay'. What they mean is they find the situation submissive, and they find submissive actions as insulting/pejorative. This is just a fear against anything different. There is nothing wrong in being dominant or submissive. Being submissive in sex does not mean you are lesser or you perform any duty you have in a worse manner. It doesn't mean you are weak, or bad, or whatever negative insinuation you want to place on the term. When people misuse the term toxic masculinity, this is actually what they should be criticizing.
The reality is that it does not matter. Being gay is no different than being heterosexual or whatever it is you want to call yourself. Your sexuality is just a part of your identity, nothing more. If it ever becomes a large part of your identity or how you perceive yourself in the world, then it might lead to character problems for yourself in the future. But as it stands, homosexuality has existed in nature and human history for millennia. I know very successful men that are gay, but they do not make their sexuality any part of their identity, so it can never be guessed. I also know homosexual women who are very feminine but very dominant, so they place themselves as the 'male' in their relations. Again, it is not about being male or female, but about being dominant and submissive. It's about control/being controlled (this is also why this game is so good, as it understands this dynamic very well and incorporates it into its dialogue).
Let me give myself as an example. To me,
A woman with a penis or vagina is attractive.
A man with a penis or vagina is not attractive, it is very unattractive.
A man that acts like a woman with a penis or vagina is attractive.
A woman that acts like a man with a penis or vagina is not attractive, unless there exists a possibility for me to change her or her dynamic in a scenario. Then it become attractive to me.
A vagina is attractive.
Only a penis that is medium-small, with no balls/small balls is attractive.
The anus is very attractive.
The attraction I have is for femininity and submissiveness, and I consider myself heterosexual. I am not attracted to masculinity in the slightest, but if you attach femininity to anything masculine and make it submissive I will be attracted to it. Any scenario where I am submissive turns me off. Any scenario where I am dominant turns me on, unless it is with another male. I am attracted to the gender and the situation, the genitalia does not matter. In shorter terms, I like pussy and dick, I like to dick 'women' and I hate to get dicked by anything.
A trap, in the older days, meant a man deliberately masquerading as a woman to confuse or trick you. That's why it's a trap. So there is an element of malevolence there. All it says to me is that it is a general confusion of sexuality. Maybe the man likes to act like a woman? The term 'trap' comes from a fear of homosexuality and submissiveness.
If you fantasize as the receiver in sexual scenarios, then chances are you are gay. It doesn't mean you are gay, just that being submissive/receiver is linked to being gay. If you are attracted to masculinity and you are a male, and you like to receive from a male, then you are definitely gay.
Sorry for the wall of text, I needed to procrastinate for a bit.
I guess I'm heterosexual as you described almost all my preferences perfectly. I knew it already but part of me still intrigued by how sexuality works sometimes. It could be a minor thing or feature in person but it changes the whole perception of attractiveness. Thank you for the response.