This coloring sucks.
A lot of errors in grammar, sometimes spelling. And that's while giving a lot of the country dialog a shrug.
I already skipped over a lot, but as an example, there's Zamir and Elira explaining open relationships in the intro and Sang-ook says "I don't feel so taken by surprise but, I didn't picture it would be like this either." You should put the comma before the "but" not after.
I also think it'd read smoother if you remove "would be" but it's not an error.
Sang-ook is sometimes Sang-Ook. I don't know what language sometimes capitalizes part of a name and sometimes doesn't.
Elira says "But well, there are tons" and this is a case where you could put two commas, one before
and after the "well".
But comma use is less an issue than the writing generally having a stiff awkwardness and bad word choice. "she didn't thought twice" Finley says in the thermal bath. It's "she didn't
think twice"
Sang-Ook says "I'm having some problems to take care of" which should be "I have some problems to take care of"